yet another depression post

[Supervixen]

when i was younger I had depressions and manic
episodes that changed rapidly- lately thedpressive
times have been harder, longer- all around worse-
lots and lots of anger at no one in particular and yet
everyone- and feelings of the worse loneliness
imaginable. is there such a thing as getting worse
or further into a depression? how can this be? i
really feel like i have totally lost control this time.



..


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*Baby Anna*
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[Yerdaddy]

is there such a thing as getting worse or further into a depression?

The earlier I remember having depression is age 4, and it's been with me consistantly ever since. I don't know if it's gotten worse because my environment has changed so much. As an adult we have all these damn responsibilities and expectations that we don't have as a kid. I often feel that it's worse, but when I think of childhood, I was depressed and isolated when I should have been out having fun. So I don't know which is worse.

But then there's this: I'm 33 now, and I can honestly say I finally know what I want to do with my life and I'm in the right place to be doing it. For years I thought if I can only get to this point, the depression will go away, or at least be more managable. No dice. Instead it worked it's way into my head by making me compare myself to my friends and colleagues with thoughts like: "they don't have this problem", "they are better educated and more effective at this than I am," blah blah blah.

So essentially, I think if you suffer chronic depression it's going to work itself into your head and cause you to have whatever negative thoughts that go along with that point in your life. They key is to recognise that it's there and to accept that you have to deal with it like any other lifelong illness, (once you and your doctors conclude that this is a longterm thing for you). My problem is trying to get to a point where my circumstances will make it go away. Then when I try to forget it, it pops up anyway and I use various ways of escaping it and end up running out of medication, or not working on improving my skills at dealing with it. In other words, I stop dealing with it and that is more badder.

One thing that helps is that it does come up on the board, and we talk about it. For me that is a big help, because I don't have anyone in my social circle here in Washington that is dealing with it in the same way I am. So I end up feeling isolated and alone with the monster. And you help me by talking about it.

This is a long-winded way of saying "I feel your pain."

So my answer is yes, I do think it can get worse, but that if you continue to fight it with your doctor's help, therapy, talking through it, etc. you can bring it back under control. I also have a number of resources if you want to IM or email me.


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[DarkHippie]

yeah, it can get worse. sometimes it feels like its under control, and then it slips. i was a compltely together person until my breakdonw last march, now i can barely get out of the house :(

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[mrbungle]

One of my friends got that bad...in like 1995 he just sorta lost his grip, and now he can't leave Queens...it's sad, especially cause he just lives in his own little cage.


O.G.***Original Gluesniffer...

It's not funny, my ass is on fire...

[Supervixen]

One thing that helps is that it does come up
on the board, and we talk about it


right, well that doesnt help me because these
peopel critisize every little thing I do .





...



.


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*Baby Anna*
......continue to shine.....

[impactplayer2k1]

i guess once you hit the bottom, it cant get any worst.

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"Anticipation is the greatest form of pleasure."

[Jennitalia]

right, well that doesnt help me because these
peopel critisize every little thing I do .



what do you care what people on a message board think about you? you'll drive yourself batty if you're going to worry or constantly think about what others may think of you, especially on a message board where it's for the most part meaningless

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[Yerdaddy]

you'll drive yourself batty

Just ask Batty Staples

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[Jackie Sloan]

jenni's right supervix, this
board is cool but in the end
it's meaningless. Don't worry about what people here say, worry about you so you can feel better.peace



Church bulletin: Low self esteem support group will meet thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

[brodieman]

i also agree, in the end this place doesnt mean much, if people on this board are effecting you that badly, just ignore what they say, or even take a week away from the board (it will still be here when you get back, jeff will make sure of that)

you should go do something to take your mind off things, something you like to do, maybe that you haven't done in a long time.
or you can do what i do, i just go with the flow of the everyday, i try not to take things too seriously, and if too many bad things get cought up inside you, take a frien who will listen, go out and "chew their ear off" (i think that's hte expression im looking for) and remember whatever happens, happens

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Whatever our history, whatever the root of our surnames, we remain a good a decent people, and we do not bow down and we do not give up. The fire of the human spirit cannot be quenched by bomb blasts or body counts. Cannot be intimidated forever into silence or drowned by tears.-Spiderman #36, 9-11 issue

This message was edited by brodieman on 3-8-02 @ 1:57 PM

[HordeKing1]

ANNA - Depression comes in several "flavors." Most people who talk of depression are referring to a "Major Depressive Episode."

Depression is sucessfully treated in therpy and it needn't be a lifelong affliction. A person is much more likely to have several episodes of major depression than to be depressed continuously their entire lives. Knowledge of past depressive episodes serve as guideposts, pointing you back to therapy to try to stave off a full blown attack.

Life stage theories suggest that development is an ongoing process from conception to death and that expereinces in one stage can help the individual deal with similar issues at a later point in their life.

YERDADDY - I'm very interested in your childhood experiences. Were you diagnosed at 4 years old? That seems rather remarkable, especially since depression in children is vastly different from depression in adults. Additionally at 4, children haven't even grasped many basic cognitive developmental skills. (Kids don't even learn to think abstractly until around 16.)

I'd appreciate any further information about these early childhood memories. (For that matter, is it an actual memory, or is it something you were told, i.e. that at 4 you were depressed)?

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