Superhero Sex... [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

Pootertoot

03-09-2002, 08:03 AM

Alright, there've been a lot of superhero questions here lately...here's an old one I want an explanation of:

If Superman had sex with Lois Lane, wouldn't he blow her back out with the force of his ejaculation?

What's the rationale behind this? Are all Superman's involuntary actions heightened to superhuman levels? Like if he farted, would he destroy the chair beneath him, perhaps even the floor? Could he tear someone's face off with a sneeze?

Or is Superman in full control of his powers, themselves being willed actions? If this is the case, then why the question at all?

Oh, and if the Human Torch farted, what would happen?

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furie

03-09-2002, 09:24 AM

Oh, and if the Human
Torch farted, what would
happen?

The Thing would kick his ass

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DarkHippie

03-09-2002, 11:30 AM

superman has complete muscle control, so most likely he would not blow out lois's pelvis, but it would be damn funny if he did

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Tenbatsuzen

03-09-2002, 11:56 AM

I'm sure the Flash was great with the ladies. Imagine if your boyfriend could turn his hand into a living vibrator.

Green Lantern's had an imagination and the most powerful ring in the universe.

Batman, no doubt, is a BDSM sub.

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impactplayer2k1

03-09-2002, 12:03 PM

Just imagine Spiderman hanging his ladies on the ceiling, having some of that zero gravity sex.

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This message was edited by impactplayer2k1 on 3-9-02 @ 4:05 PM

brodieman

03-09-2002, 12:04 PM

and i quote:

"T.S.: But they're engaged.
Brodie: Doesn't matter, can't happen.
T.S.: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I gurantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child?
T.S.: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him!"-mallrats, thanks imdb.com

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CYYYFYYY

03-09-2002, 12:55 PM

I always thought Mr. Fantasitc and Plastic Man
would be great in bed because of there stretching
abilities......

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Tall_James

03-09-2002, 01:37 PM

Wolverine's healing factor would allow him to reload almost immediately. He could go 50-60 times in a night.

Lesbians like Aquaman because his smells like fish.

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CYYYFYYY

03-09-2002, 04:03 PM

I don;t know if wolverines healing powers would
help him refill....... I will have to ask around but
GREAT POINT!!!!!! Now the question is can Hank
Pimp some knows as Giant man but the sprray on
his lower pasrtts and make that bigger.... I still give
the nod to Mr Fantastic and Plastic man because
they can do more with it than just expand...

David the Franchize
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CYYYFYYY

03-09-2002, 04:06 PM

I think the worst in bed would be the thing for
obvious reasons and Daredevil I would imagine
since he is soo sensitive he may um how should I
say..... shoot out too soon..... Another thing about
wolverinew though.... I have seen him in the comics
with a young lady and she never looks exhausted
and all he is ever doing is smoking..... Rememeber
Wolverine is a short man......

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Se7en

03-09-2002, 05:51 PM

Let's not forget the ladies! I'd be afraid to bang Wonder Woman. I mean, when she climaxes, what's to stop her from crushing you with her super-strong vaginal muscles?

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FUNKMAN

03-09-2002, 07:07 PM

How about The Flash, considering how fast he is it sounds like the ladies would be mighty dissapointed...
But then again, think how fast he could move his tongue...

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DarkHippie

03-09-2002, 07:24 PM

what about the hulk? "don't get me horny .. . you wouldn't like me when I'm horny."

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<i>support your local 420: union of brotherhood

living on the road, my friend, was supposed to keep us free and clean.
now you wear you skin like iron, your breath's as hard as kerosene-- townes van zant "the ballad of poncho and lefty"</i>

cheezeemee

03-09-2002, 07:25 PM

So where does Galactus stick his milk way?
A black hole?
DAM!

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Thanks WWFallon

WintersEmbers

03-09-2002, 07:33 PM

okay i definitely gotta agree about batman being an S&M freak. but i think the only one strong enough to handle supermans super sperm would have to be wonder woman. end of story.

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