Future Mother inlaw [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

chefpitt

03-09-2002, 09:02 AM

Ok here is my situation I am engaged to be married to the greatest women in the world. and we are planning a nice size wedding now her mother is pushing pushing pushing you should do this .you need that .blah blah blah. I want to be like whoa whoa lady this is our wedding you had yours we want things our way ...But my fianc‚e said don't say anything lets not piss my mother off.. Yeah granted She is helping with paying for the wedding .but in my head If she wants shit done here way she can just pay for the whole thing..

Am I in the wrong here?
Any advice would be appreciated....

I've lerned that having fun at other peoples expense is more fun.......
"You have to love the sum of 41"

sunndoggy8

03-09-2002, 02:23 PM

Well if you say something, you mother in law may resent you, and treat you badly throughout the marriage. On the other hand, she might respect you speaking up for yourselves and the relationship might be better...but i doubt that.

If you don't say anything, she'll be pushing you two around forever.

So you lose either way. I say you should say something.

<IMG SRC="http://home.att.net/~sunndoggy8/sunnysig1.jpg" width=300 height=80>

"I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning."

Zipgun

03-10-2002, 09:23 AM

Just don't buy her a pinball machine.

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarkpleased.jpg width="150" height="170>

Poison Ivy

03-10-2002, 12:47 PM

Sit her down and just explain to her while you appreciate her suggestions your fiancee and you really want to make this your own. Tell her not to be offended if you don't use all her ideas. Just listen to her suggestions though, some of them may be good. Let her at least feel involved, it will make her feel better.

<img src=http://spirit515.50megs.com/ivysig.jpg width="300" height="100"> <marquee>That moment when you kiss someone everything becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person i<font color='#D6B

TheGameHHH

03-10-2002, 06:39 PM

In my opinion what Ivy said was best. Just explain nicely your situation, and try to meet her half way.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

<IMG SRC="http://wwfallon.homestead.com/files/RFnetTheGameHHH.jpg">
Thanks Fallon for the sig!

Alice S. Fuzzybutt

03-11-2002, 07:11 AM

I got married last October so I know what you're going thru. Your fiance is right-- don't piss off your future MiL. You're going to have to deal with her for a very long time. Don't start any riffs just yet. Trust me-- resentment can really put a strain on a marriage. 
Yes, explain to her that you appreciate her suggestions. And if you can, throw her a bone and work one of her suggestions into the ceremony/reception. I'm not particularly religious but my MiL is and we had her say the blessing. She appreciated that. 
If money is an issue then tell her so. If she wants an ice sculpture so badly but it's not in your budget then tell her. She's just excited that her daughter is getting married. I'm sure she means well. 

<IMG SRC="http://mywebpages.comcast.net/vitamin.d/referencepix/fuzzybuttsig.jpg">

Your lightnin's all I need
My satisfaction grows
You make me feel at ease
You even make me glow, oh
Don't cut the power on me
I'm feelin' low, so get me high

zathrus

03-11-2002, 08:54 AM

I must be very lucky. My future mother in law is wonderful. She has even said that she'll make suggestion, if she thinks that i maybe able to find something better or if i'm not sure how or what i want. but she'll let me have my wedding the way that i want it. i'm more worried about my step-mother trying to take things over. I absolutely adore my fmil.

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/zathruscastle.jpg" width=300 height=100>

HordeKing1

03-11-2002, 09:43 AM

CHEFPITT - You are in a tight spot. The matter has to be handled with the utmost of discretion.

You don't indicate that your future mother in law is a bad person and I'll assume that she's rational.

It is crucial that you talk to your or your wife talk to your future mother in law and tell her that although her enthusiasm is appreciated her "running the show" is not.

It's crucial to set limitls like this early in the in-law relationship so that they'll learn and respect appropriate boundaries.

If your fiance is worried about insulting her mom, think of a relatively innocuous task that neither of you really care about (like what florist to use and what type of table flowers you'll have), and assign this job to your mother in law.

Best of luck.

http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking2

Jackie Sloan

03-11-2002, 09:52 AM

Chef - tell her to kiss yer ass and make it a threesome! JK dude, when in doubt - listen to Horde King!

Church bulletin: Low self esteem support group will meet thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.