"I Have It All Figured Out"

[The Blowhard]

In refernce to the so called "battle of the sexes",
my extensive research has concluded the following:
"All women are crazy"
"All men are stupid"
No need to buy those self help books. No need to spend thousands on therapy.
Always remember these two facts, especially the next time you and your significant other are fighting.
HK, what do you think?

<img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/images/sigs/hecklersig2.jpg" width="300" height="100">
[/b]"Coffee is for closers"[/b][i]

[Pootertoot]

Heckler, such profound insight should be shared with the world, perhaps in informative pamphlets delivered door-to-door by proselytizers in sensible suits...

As for all men being stupid...unfortunately true...imagine being Stephen Hawking's ex-girlfriend, recieving drunken phone calls at 3 AM, thinking it's a crying, slurring robot until you realize who it is. At least you don't have to worry about him leaving the seat up.

This was also a shameless way to show off my new sig pic. I hope it is loved by all!

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[HordeKing1]

HECKLER - I too have extensively researched this topic. I have, however, reached a slightly different conclusion. I postulate that

"All women are crazy" "All men are insane."

Explains a lot of human history.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[girl germs]

This message was edited by girl germs on 8-3-01 @ 9:50 AM

[Pootertoot]

Actually, when I was a child, I went to the bathroom in my mother's bedroom while she was asleep, since the other bathroom was occupied. While I was in there, my mother let loose a barrage of farts whose power and fury was never before known to man kind. The door to the bathroom actually started to shake as the shockwaves from each massive fart emerged, one after the other. To this day she denies it ever happened, but, much like Hiroshima, objects in the room had their shadows permanently burned into the walls.

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[EffMeBoobs]

"All women are crazy"
"All men are stupid"

Simply and wonderfully put!

Piddlers and BJQ's do it better....

[vegeta]

But it conflicts with the almitghty Fez philosophy that "all women are stupid and ugly."

<center><img src="http://darknemisis.homestead.com/files/vegeta_charging.gif" height=100 height=130></img><font color="#80000">
You may not like me, but you will learn to LOVE ME! </font><br><p><br></center>

[TomPoo]

After reading this thread I feel truly enlightened.

Unfortunately my x-girlfriend doesn't quite get it. I called her last night to tell her I finnally understand why we broke up. I told her it was because she was crazy, but she hung up before I could get to the "I am stupid" part.

I think I made things worse than better... oh well



REEKING of AWESOMENESS
---Tom Poo

[Pootertoot]

Stephen Hawking actually worked out a proof showing women are evil. Here it is:

<img src=http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/evil.jpg>

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[HordeKing1]

POOTERTOOT - Spurious logic (and I use the term loosely) at best. Sustitute "men" "cars" or whatever in place of "girls" and you get the identical result.

Why not start with "Girls = warm and cuddly" or has someone had a few to many bad expereinces? (LOL)

Thus there is no correlation or causation and the entire premise goes up in smoke.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[Pootertoot]

Hordeking...quiet! They might realize they're more powerful than us!

As long as we keep making technology to make jar lids tighter, we're safe...

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[erinmoran]

I dont know whats worse.... having a "'gina" thats smells like salmon or a "wee wee"..thats is circumsized.....?

<img src="http://www.sitcomsonline.com/joanieandchachi.jpg" height=200 width= 150>

[Pootertoot]

Why? You have both?

Up until a little while ago, I was mad because I'm circumsized and I didn't have a say in it.

Then I saw what an uncircumsized penis looks like. SWEET LORD IT'S HIDEOUS.

If there is ever a proof of the nonexistance of god (they say you can't prove a negative...oh yeah?) it's that you come out of the womb with a dick that looks like something out of "Alien".

Of course, the look is only half of it. You get oily, foul-smelling secretions to keep your banana dick sanitary.

I'll pass. My dick is the prettiest girl at the ball compared to an uncircumsized penis.

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[HordeKing1]

According to recent research hermaphrodites account for between 2 and 4% of all live births!

That includes true hermaphrodietes, w/one testical, one ovary, a penis and vagina (but they're not set up to mechanically meet - damn it). MERMS, or male psudeohermaphrodites, with XY chromosome, but vagina, and FERMS, or female psuedohermaphrodites, with XX chromosome, but penis.

Most of these babies are turned into girls at birth b/c it's much easeir to consturct a vagina than a penis. Go figure.


http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[HordeKing1]

POOTERTOOT - Women do have it figured out. Just ask any married man.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[Pootertoot]

Most of these babies are turned into girls at birth b/c it's much easeir to consturct a vagina than a penis.

Anyone who has tried to put a penis on a clay sculpture can tell you that. Damn thing just keeps falling off.

Am I the only one putting dicks on clay sculptures?

I'm sure Gumby's animator had a damn good time doing that. Where do you think "Trickle" and "Goo" came from?

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[Pootertoot]

Wait...are they just pretending the jar lid's too tight?

Clever girl...

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

[The Blowhard]

Ha ha ha..I loved this thread!

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hecksig1
DAVEY HANSON KICKS ASS!

[Pootertoot]

It still is really difficult to put a dick on a clay sculpture. Just falls right off.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/tardpower2.gif">
This Sig is Temporary, while the REAL 1000 Post Spectacular Sig is Pending Litigation.

[The Blowhard]

A classic thread for our new friends. I amaze myself.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/heck.gif

[Koala]

Care to elaborate on what married women have figured out.

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Horde King 1 (7:47:03 PM):
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[The Blowhard]

"First comes the wedding ring, then comes the suffering".

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/heck.gif

[Koala]

Heckler, I take it you aren't married. I was asking the all knowing and married hordeking.

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[HordeKing1]

KOALA - I was about to answer when my wife flashed one of her patented loving (yet strangely disquieting looks.) My lips are sealed.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[adolescentmasturbator]

I watched a documentary about hermaphrodites in school and the doc said "It's easier to make a hole than a pole".

I will get a sig pic...eventually

[The Blowhard]

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/heck.gif