Adoption

[ag]

Hk, I was adopted at birth, and have an urge to locate my birth parents but I dont have a clue how to do it! All I know is that I was born in New Brusnwick NJ, and my Birth Mother was like 16 at the time she gave birth to me.

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[erinmoran]

Check with your adoptive parents...and ask to look at your birth certificate and adoption papers. Maybe your adoptive parents know who your real parents are.

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[gone]

if your dad has your adoption paper work you need to call the adoption agency, more than likely it will cost an ass load of money (it usually does) but thats how you do it... and i think the adoption agency (this part varies) gets in contact with your birth parents first and asks if they want to let you get in contact with them...
ive had many friends who were adopted and ended up wanting to find their birth parent, most of them just didnt have the money...

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[ag]

I never mentioned that my Adotption parents have no info on my adoption either, or lost the papers , some crap like that

<img src=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/ag1247/images/angry2.jpg>

There's a place in the world for the angry young man With his working class ties and his radical plansHe refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,He's always at home with his back to the wall.And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on the cross-And he likes to be knowns as the angry young man.

[erinmoran]

Thats probably a lie

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[HordeKing1]

ERIN is correct. Your first step is to get your birth certificate and discover the name of your birth parents.

If the certificate was "lost" a duplicate can be requeste from the Bureau of Vital Statistics.

Their web address is http://www.vitalrec.com/ny.html

Once you have names you can try conventional methods of tracking them down including internet searches.

If the adoption was through an agency, they will have the records as well. I would check with your parents again, as their explanation of having "lost" the paperwork seems odd. They may view your request to learn about your birth parents as a threat to their claim to parenthood.

The decision to try to find your birth parents should not be taken lightly. You will have to deal with many issues should you find them, and you may or may not be happy with what you discover.

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This message was edited by HordeKing1 on 3-24-02 @ 1:54 PM

[Se7en]

I have a serious question....if you adopt a child, and they don't know they're adopted.....should you eventually tell them, or maintain the secret?

I ask this, because in every case I've witnessed firsthand...as soon as the child discovers that they're adopted, the relationship between them and the adoptive parents immediately begins to break down.

I just wonder if it's worth it to tell.

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[HordeKing1]

SE7EN - The question is an excellent one but there are to many variables for an easy answer.

Most adopted kids try to find their birth parents at one point or another, but it rarely interferes with the relationship he or she has with the adoptive parents (They are the "real parents" anyway.).

You were most likely exposed to a nonrepresentative sampling of people whose relationship with their adoptive parent deteriorates.

As far as whether to tell a child he or she is adopted, I'm a very big proponent of open and honest communication, with the caveat of course, of the communication being age-appropriate. Most families are able to achieve this.

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[HordeKing1]

I fixed the link to the website of the Bureau of Vital Statistics.

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