Punchlines

[Hosp]

This is a game I used to play with my friends when we hung in the neighborhood bar. All you do is say the punchline to a joke with none of the set up.

An example would be "To get to the other side"

Any punchline is acceptable as long as it comes from a real joke. If you are chalenged on it you have to tell the whole joke.

"Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

<center>http://members.aol.com/mkalstott40/images/hosp%20krikor%20sig.jpg</center>
<b>K</b>eanu
<b>R</b>eeves
<b>I</b>s
<b>K</b>ind
<b>O</b>f
<b>R</b>etarded

[wilee]

She said "Oh, no! This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/rocket.jpg">

[gameguy]

"cause his di*k got stuck in the chicken"

<IMG SRC="http://www.businessbenefitsgroup.com/gameguy.jpg">
c2002 WWFallon and used by permission

"Take a look to the sky just before you die
It's the last time you will"

[Dan]

Mooooo.

http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/dansig1

[DIE]

[i]

Sit! Heel!! Down! HELP!!!

[IRISjr]

Free-to-lay :)

<center><img src="http://members.aol.com/rundog2001/myhomepage/irisjr-new.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US"></center>

<font><FONT FACE=" comic sans ms">
<marquee>IRIS loves ya</marquee><font>
<font color "blue"><marquee>but IRIS jr probably doesn't</marquee></FONT>

<marquee>Monkeys in Suits Rule!!!
</marquee></FONT> </BODY>

[FUNKMAN]

"no, i'm a frayed knot"

<img src="http://w3.one.net/~wap/GFR_WEB/GFR_ALBUMS/GRAPHICS/coverLiveAlbum.jpg">

"And When Your Bad, You Die When You Die"

[JerryTaker]

If I could walk <I>that way,</I> I wouldn't need aftershave...

Thanks to Hosp for the Idea:
<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/sigpic2a.GIF">
"Who do you trust when everyone's a crook?"

[AngelAmy]

U STOLE THIS FROM DARTH PRECIOUS!!!!!!

<marquee>Be Happy, Try Not To Hurt Other People, and Hope You Fall In Love</marquee>
http://www.boomspeed.com/angelamy/RFnetAngelAmy.jpg
MEMBER OF THE NOSE ORGASM ARMY
PRESIDENT OF THE IRISH DIET SODA BREAD FAN CLUB
PRESIDENT OF THE C-BLOCKER HATERS CLUB

Thanks WWFallon for the Sig Pic

[Jackie Sloan]

I don't know Doc but get this guy off my ass!



Look over there...dry ice factory...GOOD PLACE TO GET SOME THINKIN' DONE!

[A.J.]

"Oral Roberts"

[TheGameHHH]

So he said, "Rectum....It nearly killed him!"

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

<IMG SRC="http://wwfallon.50megs.com/RFnetTheGameHHH.jpg">
Thanks Fallon for the sig!

[jafter]

Aren't you a little old to be believing in leprechans.

We want Ron and Fez live in DC.

[JustJon]

Now that's Hospitaliano!

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon5.jpg">

[Hosp]

"I was talking to the duck"

Amy, as if!

Jon, if that was a punchline, you have been challenged.

<center>http://members.aol.com/mkalstott40/images/hosp%20krikor%20sig.jpg</center>
<b>K</b>eanu
<b>R</b>eeves
<b>I</b>s
<b>K</b>ind
<b>O</b>f
<b>R</b>etarded

[A.J.]

Now that's Hospitaliano! <P>
Good one Jon. <P>
Unfortunately

[Sheeplovr]

It spit at me so i bite its head off

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS

[furie]

"Supplies! Supplies!"



<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/surfer.jpg" width=300 height=100 >
Thanks Fallon!

[Jennitalia]

ouch

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

[PanterA]

So the doctor said "Well the good news is that when the balls grow in, they'll cover your eyes"

http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig5I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

[EQ]

" No...I'm a Frayed Knot"...

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/Elle.jpg">

[Gwen]

"I met this really great guy called Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater"

<img src=http://robie.nine-zero.com:443/files/dynamitediva/gwennybear.jpg>

[Jennitalia]

put a little boogie in it

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

[furie]

"Rectum, damn near kill'em!!!"


<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/surfer.jpg" width=300 height=100 >
Thanks Fallon!

[BrandonKattel]

I didnt say she was crazy, I said shes fucking Goofey

Im better in small doses

[PanterA]

The polish guy said "But officer, we took him to the zoo...today we're going to take him to the beach."

http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig5I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

[JerryTaker]

So I said, "that's a big word for an 8 year old...."

Thanks to Hosp for the Idea:
<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/sigpic2a.GIF">
"Who do you trust when everyone's a crook?"

[cronicman]

so when we get hot we can roll down the window.

kEeP SmoKIn,
cronic man

[cronicman]

no thats a flshlight in my pocket.

kEeP SmoKIn,
cronic man

[cronicman]

why the long face


kEeP SmoKIn,
cronic man

[PanterA]

"He thought he was melting"

http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig5I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

[BluntMan]

9 months

http://members.aol.com/ivulgari/bluntman5

[chefpitt]

"There are only two handles on a garbage can"

<IMG SRC="http://snatch.5u
.com/images/rfnetchefpitt.jpg">

[furie]

So, Jesus says, "Peter, I can see your house from up here!"


<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/surfer.jpg" width=300 height=100 >
Thanks Fallon!
AIM:furie1335

[Doogie]

"There was lipstick on the steering wheel"

<IMG SRC=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/doogcool/myhomepage/rfnetdoogie76.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>

"My father would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark and accuse cheasnuts of being lazy...I assure you there is nothing like a shrown scrotum"
Thank you WWF Fallon for the sig

[BrandonKattel]

He showed it to him

Im better in small doses

[Doogie]

Actually I screwed it up...that is the question. The joke goes why was there lip stick on the blondes steering wheel...she was trying to blow the horn

<IMG SRC=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/doogcool/myhomepage/rfnetdoogie76.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>

"My father would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark and accuse cheasnuts of being lazy...I assure you there is nothing like a shrown scrotum"
Thank you WWF Fallon for the sig

[PanterA]

Open the car door

Thanks for the sig JerseyRich
http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig5I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

[FUNKMAN]

"did you hear that invisible man? No! but my asshole is killing me"

<img src="http://w3.one.net/~wap/GFR_WEB/GFR_ALBUMS/GRAPHICS/coverLiveAlbum.jpg">

"And When Your Bad, You Die When You Die"

[Pootertoot]

Cleopatra? Stay away from her, she's on her pyramid.

<embed src="http://hometown.aol.com/slfcallednowhere/mario2.swf" width=300 height=100>
Censored, Because I'm a Responsible Moderator, who fucks children in the ass.

[FUNKMAN]

"he'll live but he's gonna be a vegetable the rest of his life"


you know, when the baby asparagus got hit by the car... i'm sure we all heard it...

<img src="http://w3.one.net/~wap/GFR_WEB/GFR_ALBUMS/GRAPHICS/coverLiveAlbum.jpg">

"And When Your Bad, You Die When You Die"

[wilee]

She said "Oh, no, not another one of those breathalyzers!"

<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/rocket.jpg">

[Hosp]

"Are you guys all on the same team?"


I see somebody else reads Maxim.

<center>http://members.aol.com/mkalstott40/images/hosp%20krikor%20sig.jpg</center>
<b>K</b>eanu
<b>R</b>eeves
<b>I</b>s
<b>K</b>ind
<b>O</b>f
<b>R</b>etarded

[Zipgun]

"Africa... they're all over the place"

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarksig5.jpg width="300" height="100>

[Jennitalia]

the harder you slam them, the looser they get

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

[Zipgun]

"You can sleep with a light on"

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarksig5.jpg width="300" height="100>

[FUNKMAN]

"I didn't know his name but his face rings a bell"

<img src="http://w3.one.net/~wap/GFR_WEB/GFR_ALBUMS/GRAPHICS/coverLiveAlbum.jpg">

"And When Your Bad, You Die When You Die"

[Knowledged_one]

So I said Liquor, I hardly knew her

Shaolin shadowboxing, and the Wu-Tang sword style
If what you say is true, the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang
could be dangerous
Do you think your Wu-Tang sword can defeat me?

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

[FUNKMAN]

"those aren't crabs, your cherry's rotted and those are fruitflies"

<img src="http://w3.one.net/~wap/GFR_WEB/GFR_ALBUMS/GRAPHICS/coverLiveAlbum.jpg">

"And When Your Bad, You Die When You Die"

[Ninja Lesbian]

Big ups to HHH and furie, now i have a quote for my profile that will get stale before this thread dies. I can't wait until the right moment to use it...i'll just mumble some glibberish for a set-up and BANG, i become both raunchy and witty.

i'm the lonest ninja in my dojo

[Ninja Lesbian]

...i can't wait. Somebody be my straight man and use rectum in an everyday context and i'll bring it home with the big showstopper. I also need another board member to follow the my post with a laugh track...

"...and the he said 'rectum! it almost damn near killing the poor sob'"

[legroommusic]

gee hosp, is this some sort of writing technique?

good luck

HUGS!!

[Hosp]

"Victim"

"Coach"

"Warden"

(*This space was reserved for a Seinfeld punchline, but most of his stuff never had a punchline. What's the deal with that?)

Let's just call it a workshop, Legroom.

<center>http://members.aol.com/mkalstott40/images/hosp%20krikor%20sig.jpg</center>
<b>K</b>eanu
<b>R</b>eeves
<b>I</b>s
<b>K</b>ind
<b>O</b>f
<b>R</b>etarded

[wilee]

So Jesus said, "Dad, quit showing off!"

<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/rocket.jpg">

[PanterA]

You're letting in to much light.

Thanks for the sig JerseyRich
http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig5I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

[Zipgun]

"I'm Nailed Right In"

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarksig5.jpg width="300" height="100>

[chefpitt]

"and that's the bastard who killed my frog"

<img src=http://snatch.5u.com/images/rfnetchefpitt.jpg>

[jafter]

Easter joke.

They fall through his hands.



We want Ron and Fez live in DC.

[Zipgun]

"40 bucks...same as in the city."

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarksig5.jpg width="300" height="100>

[Hosp]

I always liked this thread so I'm bringing it back up.

<center><IMG src=http://members.aol.com/good2goguynyc/images/cbhosp1.gif></center>

<marquee>AOL is a computer-based, multibillion dollar corporation bent on world domination. Using AIM supports their evil ways.</marquee>
<center>Fight the Power! Use MSN Messenger!</center><center>Grrr! Argh!</center>

[Bama]

no, i just realized the doctor had BOTH hands on my shoulders

and

i'm gonna miss him


edit: those are two seperate lines btw :)


This message was edited by bamanation on 10-26-02 @ 3:32 AM

[SuperClerk]

Because 7 8 9

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/superclerktemp.gif>
Thanks to Toddevf for sig pic

[GUTTERMOUTH]

its all about stealing, running, and shooting <P>
<P>

[GUTTERMOUTH]

A BUCKET

[BrianTheBailBondsman]

The Refridgorator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

a/k/a JOEY D' when I call the Show.

[Dork-kc]

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[blakjeezis]

"Well quit throwing the skins out the window, the chickens are choking on them"

"He reaches over, turns on the light, and sees a glass eye sitting on the nightstand."

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

[GaryWyze]

(*This space was reserved for a Seinfeld punchline, but most of his stuff never had a punchline. What's the deal with that?)


<font color=purple>What's the deal with punchlines? What's funny about a punch? Shouldn't they be call it tickle line? Or knee slaps? I just don't get it.

Ever hear me do my Seinfeld on the show? It's cracked them up twice now ;)

O'kay, maybe not crack up, but they did laugh and say I had killed for them that day</font>





This message was edited by GaryGatorade on 10-26-02 @ 4:15 PM

[blakjeezis]

"That's mah wife, that's mah daughter, and that's mah milk machine."

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

[PanterA]

voodoo penis my ass!

<center><img src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig1"></center><center><b>Phil Anselmo is my god</b>
<marquee behavior=alternate>You are getting sleepy...veeeerrry sleeeepy</marquee></center>

[blakjeezis]

"He wanted women to know what it's like to live with a irritated cunt."

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

This message was edited by blakjeezis on 10-26-02 @ 4:05 PM

[flipper21]

They both change their pads after the third period.

<IMG SRC="http://ruffoweb.com/philanimation/dolfin_sig.gif">
Faster than lightning...

[shorty]

They both change their pads after the third period.


That's a great one.


"There's NO F in way!!"

http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/shorty.jpg

[blakjeezis]

"Cut the rope."

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

[canofsoup15]

The big yellow ones the sun

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/canofsoup15.gif>

[blakjeezis]

"Those aren't tomatoes. They're last week's abortions."

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

[GirLieBatchXoX]

..because it was stuck to the chicken.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/latinspice.gif">
I want MY OTHER NAME back!!! :(

[flavorsaver]

Yeah, he was the eighth dwarf!

<IMG SRC="http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/FS1.jpg">

Brought to you courtesy of Aggie-AngelA Productions

<marquee>*I get to feeling walked all over~And always off guard~Until I can live with my disappointments~you will sleep with yours...Walked all over, never felt this small~Until I can sleep with my disappointments~you will sleep with yours* </marquee>

[DC Reed]

..........jailbreak

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/snatchreed2.jpg">
http://www.cheats4us.org/wolf/index.php?ref=9161
<marquee behavoir=alternate>C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS CAPS/Welcome to DC Ron and Fez</marquee>

[FelixDasGato]

Supplies! Supplies!

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/felixdasgato.jpg">
Thanks to SilentSpic for hosting.

[ChrisTheCop]

Aye, and it's drivin' me nuts!

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/christhecop.gif">

[GaryWyze]

<font color=purple>Because when their Sgt. yelled "GET DOWN," they all got up and danced.</font>

[jestah]

Hell if she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell ain't good enough for ours



<IMG SRC=http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/image2.gif>


thanks blakjeezis for the sig

[Hawiian shirt craig]

DEATH BY BUNGO
BUNGO!!!!


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HSC.gif">

San Diego Chargers 4-0

[Hosp]

2 in the front seat, 2 in the back seat, 96 in the glove compartment.

<center><IMG src=http://members.aol.com/good2goguynyc/images/cbhosp1.gif></center>

<marquee>AOL is a computer-based, multibillion dollar corporation bent on world domination. Using AIM supports their evil ways.</marquee>
<center>Fight the Power! Use MSN Messenger!</center><center>Grrr! Argh!</center>

[Wolf]

Better not, we already have one foot in the grave

<marquee width=300>http://www.frichild.com<b>Friday's Child</b> - voted best new band by 2 million online listeners at <a href="http://www.cyberstationusa.com">CyberStationUSA.com.</a></marquee>
<a href="http://www.sifl-n-olly.com"><IMG width=70 SRC="http://www.sifl-n-olly.com/merch/graphics/season3-dvd.jpg"></a><a href="http://www.elfquest.com"><IMG width=106 SRC="http://fsinfo.cs.uni-sb.de/~beatrice/elfquest/startuppictures_elfquest/bluewolf.gif"></a><br>I know I'm pretty, but not as pretty as a nice pair of titties.

[Michael Fury]

She's out in the barn making Bailey's Irish Cream.






ELECT JOE QUIMBY FOR STATE SENATOR: Your best friend in government.

[flavorsaver]

And if that doesn't take the cake, she was also a redhead.

<IMG SRC="http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/FS1.jpg">

Brought to you courtesy of Aggie-AngelA Productions

<marquee>*I get to feeling walked all over~And always off guard~Until I can live with my disappointments~you will sleep with yours...Walked all over, never felt this small~Until I can sleep with my disappointments~you will sleep with yours* </marquee>

[FelixDasGato]

I feel like a golf ball!

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/felixdasgato.jpg">
Thanks to SilentSpic for hosting.

[Contra]

"Orange you glad i didn't say apple?"

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/contra3.gif>

[jafter]

Read my lips "POSSE POSSE"



There is a Santa Claus. Ron and Fez are finally live in DC. Philly is next. Thank God Infinity finally came to their senses.

[furie]

So the third guy says "Picture this, I'm sitting naked in a refrigerator..."

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/ghost.jpg" width=300 height=100>
<marquee behavior="alternate"><a href="aim:goim?screenname=furie1335&message=You_are_Number_6">IM:Furie1335
</a></marquee>
<marquee>Intermittently, at frequent intervals</marquee>

[Bill From Yorktown]

Well," her husband said, as he wiped a tear from his cheek, "I would
have gotten out today."



<IMG SRC="http://hometown.aol.com/billb914/sigpic.gif">

[blakjeezis]

And if that doesn't take the cake, she was also a redhead.
Flavorsavor, I'm a callin' you out.

"Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven"

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

This message was edited by blakjeezis on 10-28-02 @ 6:15 PM

[Hosp]

::Poof:: ::Poof::

<center><IMG src=http://members.aol.com/good2goguynyc/images/cbhosp1.gif></center>

<marquee>AOL is a computer-based, multibillion dollar corporation bent on world domination. Using AIM supports their evil ways.</marquee>
<center>Fight the Power! Use MSN Messenger!</center><center>Grrr! Argh!</center>

[LatinSpiceXoX]

..but MOM, they didn't see my panties cause I didn't wear any this time. (barum-bum)

'..Keep your EYES on my BaBoomp BaBoomp Boomp!..'
<IMG SRC="http://www.members.aol.com/VikoryNotVengnce/images/latinspice.gif">

My Current Mood: <a href="http://www.imood.com/query.cgi?email=latinspicexox@aol.com"><img src="http://www.imood.com/query.cgi?email=latinspicexox@aol.com&type=1&fg=330066&trans=1" alt="The current mood of latinspicexox@aol.com at www.imood.com" border="0"></a>

[jafter]

Flip her over I want puppies instead.

Thank you Ron and Fez for finally being live in DC.
Philly is the next market for the boys. Wake up WYSP...

[Miss Dolores Haze]

"You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk"

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/astraea006/dolores.bmp">

[Donnielimes]

Whaddaya want for nothing LOBSTER?

[Donnielimes]

Blow in her ear

[Donnielimes]

the second time I showed it to him

[Donnielimes]

Thats not your finger
Thats not your belly button

[Crippler]

...the others are a bunch of cunning stunts!


...silent, but violent.

[Hosp]

A terrible waste.

<center><IMG src=http://members.aol.com/good2goguynyc/images/cbhosp1.gif></center>

<marquee>AOL is a computer-based, multibillion dollar corporation bent on world domination. Using AIM supports their evil ways.</marquee>
<center>Fight the Power! Use MSN Messenger!</center><center>Grrr! Argh!</center>

[Crippler]

...the tire doesn't sing when you put the chains on it.


...silent, but violent.

[grandzu]

Wow thats a big word for a five year old. <P>

[jafter]

Sick no I am not sick, but the guy before you was.

Thank you Ron and Fez for finally being live in DC.
Philly is the next market for the boys. Wake up WYSP...

[Crippler]

....kermit's finger.


...silent, but violent.

[blakjeezis]

... that's not a scar, that's my bellybutton. How's my tie?

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/Lucius.gif>
"What was the middle one?" - Otto, A Fish Called Wanda
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>

[DeltaPin]

So where's this old lady with the bad tooth?

<img src=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ktk7439/files/potch.JPG>

[LatinSpiceXoX]

...He wished the other 2 guys back to the island

'..Keep your EYES on my BaBoomp BaBoomp Boomp!..'
<IMG SRC="http://www.members.aol.com/VikoryNotVengnce/images/latinspice3.gif">

My Current Mood: <a href="http://www.imood.com/query.cgi?email=latinspicexox@aol.com"><img src="http://www.imood.com/query.cgi?email=latinspicexox@aol.com&type=1&fg=330066&trans=1" alt="The current mood of latinspicexox@aol.com at www.imood.com" border="0"></a>

[blakjeezis]

You don't see many of those around here, do you?

<IMG SRC =http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/bloodjeez.gif>
"What are the scores George Dawes?"
<marquee>White people are so scared of blakjeezis</marquee>