caring to much? [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

sexy bastard

03-26-2002, 05:22 AM

I need to know, some of my coworkers/friends have said this to me lots of times. I care to much about people, I might only meet someone once and then I always care for them, I always ask how their doing call them leave them messages, email them give them my cell number or work number and tell them that they can always call me no matter what.
They say its nice but to nice of me, because I might have met someone for like 5 minutes and then I for some reason have like a "big brother" effect going on. I was thnking about it cause When I use to have lots of problems I never had anyone to go to, and I always dealt with the problems, the heartaches, the depression, the sorrow, the overwhelment, and it sucked. But i guess I do it cause I dont think anyone should go thru things in their life alone.
is this a good character of mine.
is this a strength or weakness?

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zathrus

03-26-2002, 05:30 AM

sexyb,
you are a very caring and friendly person. there is nothing wrong with you. some people are just that way, they are very friendly. if i click with someone on a friend level. i'll call to check on them to make sure that they are ok and see if they need anything. i had a similar problem, in high school. all my male friends and the guys that i liked, ended up treating me like a little sister and would always come to me for advice and to ask a girl if she would go out with them. what you have is a wonderful trait as long as you don't let people take advantge of you generous heart.

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fatty

03-26-2002, 06:16 AM

i don't know about that. i'm a nice guy but i don't have to be friends with everyone. it sounds like you do care too much, try to relax and be nice to everyone but spend more time caring about your real friends. but, if you don't care that the people don't care about you back than care about everyone you want.

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Christy

03-26-2002, 06:22 AM

I care too much ... and I hate that!!!! I always get hurt in the end!

I recently cared about someone way too much, and realized he didn't care about me at all ... hey, his lose! ;-)

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sexy bastard

03-26-2002, 01:40 PM

so i should or should not change...see that is the dilema i dont know i am confused now

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zathrus

03-26-2002, 01:44 PM

don't change, just make sure that the people that you are friendly with will return the friendly feeling. above all do what feels right in your heart.

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Earth2RON

03-26-2002, 01:58 PM

so i should or should not change...see that is the dilema i dont know i am confused now

naw dont change just make sure you give people what they give you.im just like i care alot about others,but i just dont have that one true person that i want to give my complete self to.

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HordeKing1

03-26-2002, 03:45 PM

SEXY - You worry about "caring to much." In my opinion there is no such thing.

However, there is such a thing as being emotionally dependant, and handing out all manners of contact information and caring about someone w/in 5 minutes appears to be indicative of this.

You intentions are certainly noble and it's great that you want to help, but you're taking it to a very extreme level very quickly. Continue to be helpful, caring and empathetic, but realize that a great deal of being a good friend is not being to pushy. Your actions might be perceived as such.

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sexy bastard

03-26-2002, 08:44 PM

hmmm i see what you mean, i though right now recieved some very worrysome news though, and have to help out a friend so i have to focus on that for now...lots of times it seems goodthings and bad things always come one after the other.
talk to you guys soon

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sexy bastard

03-26-2002, 08:50 PM

wai a minute, does this mean i should not care as much tothose i dont know I mean for example alot of people already know about my project for helping abused and battered women and children, i dont knowthem but i try to help....so now i am really confused

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Ninja Lesbian

03-27-2002, 03:41 AM

My guess is that you have ADD/ADHD sexy. You should look into it and try to get too overwhelmed...focus on the immediate present and try not to feel the need to impress everyone and don't think that you have to keep up a constant show to be improved by those around you...you're going to give yourself a heart attack.

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This message was edited by Ninja Lesbian on 3-27-02 @ 7:53 AM

sexy bastard

03-27-2002, 04:41 AM

but i dont have a need to impress anyone, I do things cause that is how i feel if people think i am trying to impress them then they obviously dont know who i am, like i said alot of people just think that I care way to much they all say i am a great friend casue i am always there for people but dont know what to do now I am very confused, i can only be who i am and i dotn like to change for anyone if i change its for myself, i dont know i just am so confused now

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HordeKing1

03-28-2002, 10:23 PM

SEXY - Your post gives no symptoms of ADD or ADHD. Such a diagnosis has to be made by a qualified professional in a clinical setting.

You wrote that [you] "don't have a need to impress anyone." Have you considered that the person you are trying to impress is yourself? You've set very high standards to live up to and sometimes people set goals that are impossible to reach. When they aren't reached they feel bad.

Stick to your true nature of being a kind caring person. Just try not to overdo it as I've described above.

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sexy bastard

03-28-2002, 11:22 PM

thank you horde for reassuirng me on that no offense cause everyone is entitled totheir opinion but the ADD kinda caught me off guard there, but i also believe your right in that i set my goals very high for myself, maybe cause of how i was brought up by being beaten down so much where my own self esteem was shot down in thinking i would never amountto anything in life, i also realize its a reflection of my problems as a child with no one around to talk to in which i did very stupid and dagerous things..so now as an adult i get concerned becuase alot of people now i hate to say it this way are going thru things that i already went through as a young man and always want peopel to know i am here as a friend to listen to...its kinda like when i have friends who move here from out of state i tell them call me when you need moving into a big city from (for example) iowa is overwhelming i just dont want people to feel there alone and i care to much to see it happen so i always try to help out

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