Interracial Relationships?...

[Aggie]

OK, My ex boyfriend of 4 years is black and I'm white. We broke up a few months ago, have remained friends, and now we're going to get back together because our feelings haven't changed.

What I want to know is what others think of interracial relationships. I am in the South, so I might have a warped perspective and I want people to be honest, I won't get offended.

The only reason I'm really asking is because most likely we will get married and have children. I have heard people say that it messes kids up b/c they don't know where they belong, etc. Do you think that's true? I am going to do what I want because I love him and want to be with him, but I have to take my future children into consideration.

I think it might be harder than just being one race but I don't see anything wrong with it. Hopefully, this day and age people are more accepting. What do you think?

[ChrisTheCop]

Well, let me be the 1st to admit that I'm an idiot. Whenever i see a black guy with an attractive white woman, I do a double take and yes, unfortunately, my 1st reaction is..what the hell? BUT, if i see a white guy with a black woman, I never see a problem. I think mainly it's jealousy. I usually wonder what a beautiful woman is doing with any man but me. lol. "Whats she doing with that geek, that musclehead, that rich guy, that poor guy, that midget, that giant,that yuppy, that hippie, that dog lover, that dog hater, that father, that brother, that son, etc..." I guess "that black guy" is just one other thing to tack on. That said, who cares what I or anyone else thinks??? If you've found someone you love, and that you want to spend the rest of your life (gulp) with, congratulations!! Maybe your kids will have a problem to deal with that others dont, but guess what? Life is tough for everyone, get a helmet.

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[thegirl]

I think there is nothing wrong with interracial realtiosnhips. As long as two people are in love and respect and trust each other than that is all that matters. The color of somebodys skin should not matter.

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Thanks Broodie

This message was edited by thegirl on 4-16-02 @ 5:32 PM

[Aggie]

Thanks for your honesty Chris, I understand what you're saying...

But aren't you a cop, they're all racists aren't they? Oops, that's LAPD! :)
(I hope cop jokes don't offend you)

[ChrisTheCop]

(I hope cop jokes don't offend you)


Bring em on! (uh oh..maybe I shouldnt have said that). I'm just glad you understood what I was trying to say.

<img src="http://christhecop.50megs.com/images/ronfez_cartoon--christhecop.gif">

[CYYYFYYY]

I have no problem but others will the main thing is
that you are happy..... If would you rather be
unhappy with a white guy but the public is more
approving??


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
My name is CYYYFYYY and I like Ping Pong

[shadowsmythe]

It may be harder in the south (don't know, never been there, I'm guessing) but if you love him and he loves you, then be happy. If you find someone that treats you with respect, love, and dignity, that is rare in any race. Enjoy and be happy.

Bronx's Finest, Hip Hop's Greatest.

[Earth2RON]

Interracial Relationships?
i am all for it i just need to find the a female who is down for it.
I have heard people say that it messes kids up b/c they don't know where they belong, etc. Do you think that's true? I
mixed kids are always beautiful as long as you explain to your kids what the world is about the pain will be that less painful.

where the white women at?...or asian or hispanic:)

<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/alyssa.jpg">
"i could talk for a whole year and people wouldnt be that much closer to getting to know who i am"bruce willis

[zathrus]

i have no problem with interracial
relations. As long as the couple is
happy together.


<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/zathruscastle.jpg" width=300 height=100>

[Se7en]

My obsession with Asian women proves that I'm not against interracial relationships.

Here's just a question, Aggie: have you always been attracted to black men? Or just this one guy? It makes no difference, really, I'm just curious. I wish both of you well, and that you don't have to put up with any bad attitudes from others.

I have a question, though: why is it when a black man / women and a white woman / man have a child....that child (even though the BS line is that "they won't know which culture they're a part of!") almost always identifies themselves as "black"? I've seen that more than the opposite.

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WWFallon - a sig-pic-making jar of Human Clay

"Being a bastard WORKS."
--Spider Jerusalem

[Aggie]

[quote]almost always identifies themselves as "black"? I've seen that more than the opposite.

Se7en- The reason I think most interracial children identify more with the black culture is because that is where society groups them. It goes back to the beginning of our country where one was considered black if they had "one drop" of blood on them. I don't think white society realizes how much racism still goes on today, but only the people it is happening to know it's there. Because it is not socially accepted anymore to be racist, it is hidden. I think they identify with the black part of them more because they are more accepted for who they are.

As far as liking black guys, as far back as junior high I remember being attracted to them...but not exclusively. I've dated many races of people. But, I do seem to be MORE attracted to black guys, I look at it as my "type" just as many people like blondes, or bikers, or athletes, etc.

[HordeKing1]

AGGIE - Interacial relationships are fine and the number grows every year. The most important thing is that the guy loves you and you him. Color is litterally only skin deep; the heart and mind are what counts.

However, as unfortunate as this is, there are bigoted people in the world who will judge him solely on color, and you based on your relationship to him. It's very commendable that you have the foresight to recognize this.

People in the south have the reputation of being far less tollerant of interacial relationships than us Yankees. The larger the city, however, the greater the amount of acceptance, at least on matters such as these.

Just a little over 30 years ago, interacial mariages were illegal in most southern states. Unreal. Attitudes have changed, or more accurately, are changing, but change is slow.

There will always be people who are jerks and comment or think bad things of you and him. However, there are also people who will accept you and obviously, those are the people you want to be friendly with.

Have you discussed your feelings with your bf? I guarantee you that he's feeling some of the same concerns, even if he hasn't expressed them. I urge you to talk to him about this. You have a far greater chance of coming up with ideas on how to deal with the prejudice you encounter when the two of you put your minds together.

Regarding your query about children, I commend you for thinking so far into the future. Please make certain you discuss this with him as well.

Interacial kids used to be an oddity, but they are becoming more and more common as people of different background have children. Nonetheless, there is still a stigma attached to being an interacial child. He or she may not feel that they fit in with either culture. He or she may adopt on culture only to be shunned by it's members.

Social attitudes are slowly changing. Kids of divorce used to be stigmatized. Now they are accepted. In fact it's the so called "norm" of the nuclear family which is the exception now.

Your main fear seems to be that the kids develop a sense of identity. There are numerous factors invovled here, such as the childs personality, biological factors, neighborhood, early experiences, etc.

Think of all the people of different faiths that get married. Their children usually turn out just fine, and do have a sense of belonging to one or both groups. The big distinction is that the religious groups are less likely to reject someone based on their parents.

Many mixed marriages work beautifully. Finding love is difficult and something to be treasured. You've demonstrated awareness of some issues, likely to arise. I think you have the situation well in hand and will make an excellent mother who will give her children the support, love and understanding they need to develop a sense of individuality and acceptance of themselves.

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[Aggie]

Thank you for your kind words and advice. We have discussed it, but I will bring it up with him again just to keep the discussion open. We've had some rough experiences down here in Texas, but all in all we love each other and that's all that matters. Thanks Again :)

[fatty]

my advice is to get out of texas. that's the first step.

the second step is get married, love has no color. except for red m&m's, they are the best!

<IMG SRC=http://www.wcnet.org/~mkessen/hobbes4.gif>
Fatty makes us happy!

[Earth2RON]

love has no color except for red m&m's
i didnt know that m&m's taste different with each color

<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/alyssa.jpg">
"i could talk for a whole year and people wouldnt be that much closer to getting to know who i am"bruce willis

[NewYorkDragons80]

I've had a couple black girlfriends. I might even go so far as to say I prefer black girls to white girls. And from what I've seen, the children of interracial relationships really aren't excluded (At least not on Long Island.)

I know this question sounds stupid HK, but here goes; When 2 dogs with different traits (hunting dogs and herding dogs for example) have a puppy, the mutt is more likely to live longer and be stronger. Is this true with humans?

We live in the present, we dream of the future and we learn eternal truths from the past.
-Chiang Kai-Shek

"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father."
-Senator John McCain

[NewYorkDragons80]

Hordeking, unless the law has changed in the last year, interracial relationships are still illegal in Alabama.

We live in the present, we dream of the future and we learn eternal truths from the past.
-Chiang Kai-Shek

"Do you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father."
-Senator John McCain

[HordeKing1]

DRAGON - Re your first post, I don't know the answer offhand but I suspect it is not the case based on the following reasons.

Dogs are essentially domesticated wolves that man has been breeding selectively almost from the start of human civilization nearly 150,000 years ago. Over the years as dogs were selected for appearance or utility, only similar type dogs were mated. A purebread dog is certainly more specializd than a mutt, but it has the limitations of all the years of genetic faults that accompanied selection for desireable genetic alleles. A mutt tends to live longer b/c the bad genes are less likely to be expressed.

Contrast that to humans where no deliberate genetic selection has occured. (In places like Ancient Egypt and not so ancient England, where only royal family members married and had kids, the offspring produced had ons of problems both mental and physical, particularly in girls, as many disorders such as colorblindness - rampant in the royal family until recently - is transmitted on the X chromosome only.

Finally, although genetics do play a huge role in health and longevity it is not the totality of the picture. The enviornment, culture and upbringing must be taken into account. In the USA today, white women have the longest life span followed by black women, white men and lastly black men. Whatever genetic health material is expressed in the alleles, a child must have at best an equal life span to a white women. If the child alleles resemble that of the black father, the life expextancy, is at worst equal to and at best greater than the life expectancy of the father.

To sum up, the child if female will either have an equal or lesser life expectancy than the white mother, or a equal or greater life expectancy than the black father.

Regarding Alabama, Sectionn 102 of the Alabama Constitution prohibiting mixed (interacial) marriages is unconstitutional and unenforceable b/c of the equal protection clause of the US Constitution.

The fact that the law was on the books for so long is simply unconscionable; a blight on the state.

To the best of my recollection a referendum was submitted to the voters in 2000 or 2001, and the ban was voted off the books.


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