I Need Help

[AngelAmy]

I'm going to explain this the best I can but it will be hard because I hardly understand myself, so please bare with me. I seem to be living a carefree life when it comes to myself. NO matter what goes on in my life, I never seem to move on. No matter how much motivation I have, I just don't do anything. It's hard for me to get things done, and i can't explain why because I really don't know. It's like my brain is putting up a block, all it wants to do is sit around. I don't want to be like that, yet i don't do anything to change it.

I have a few examples:

Last summer I needed to get a job. I wanted a job. I needed money and just to get off my ass. No matter what I wanted, what I was threatened with, or what anyone told me I wouldn't go out and try. It's not that i didn't want to, it's just that I couldnt. It's not like I wasn't motivated, I was. I just couldn't do it.

The other is more recent. I'm going to college to do something I love, radio. I have been good about going to class and getting the work done, until a few weeks ago. For some reason I stopped going to all of my classes, except math. It's like I just gave up, but I didn't want to. I know how important it is to go to class and do the work but no matter what, I didn't go to class. I sit there in the library thinking "what am i doing? this is wrong"but i didn't do anything to change it. I don't want to be this way. All i could come up with to try to explain to my dad was "it's hard, I'm different, there is something wrong with me"

I'll never succeed in life if i continue to be like this, how can i change? I really need help. I just want to know what is wrong with me

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[vegeta]

Welcome back, Problem child.

Listen, you're going through a sad depression.

I am somewhat depressed, but I overcome it through the determination I learned from my 7 years of martial arts.

Take up a physical hobby- tennis, volleyball, sex- to get the "happy chemicals" pumping.

I say you should take up a martial art. not only do you get into shape, but you learn about yourself and how to hold your head up high.

And as for the cutting class, if you want to get into radio, you're doing a good job of fucking it up.

Is there a radio station at your school? If there is, see how you can join it. I have joined my college radio station, which can be heard on the web, and I am the promotions director.


It is just great to feel like your a part of something.

You're living a life that disadvantaged kids in the ghetto would die for. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a boyfriend or something.

And if you're going to dd radio, why don't you go for an internship at WNEW? I got a response in one day when I applied, but I could not take the internship.

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[brodieman]

believe me hun, everyone who goes to college does shitty their first semester, i normal, the best thing you can do is continue going to your courses, no matter how bad they are. then again college might not be for you, it's not for everyone, but if you still want to do radio (and i think i know you well enought to know you do) you gotta stick with it. and hide your report card from you parents :P

there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, your just going through one of those changing times in your life, confusing adn frustration are normal. i hope this helps a bit :)

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[HordeKing1]

AMY - Regarding the job situation last summer, have you considered that the pressure placed upon you by outside sources set up a need to not get a job so as to assert your independance. Not getting a job was a victory from those who "threatened" you, or more accurately, threatened your autonomy.

Regarding school, you recognize that you need a degree. You're also way ahead of the game b/c you know what field you want to work in. You report that you did great until a few weeks ago when started cutting classes. I think the time frame is not coincidental in that your feelings describe "spring fever" which many experience to one degree or another. The best solution is to try to do as much work as possible and don't beat yourself up if you miss a class or two. It's easier to approach some tasks by breaking them into their component parts, so instead of thinking in terms of going to class, doing the reading, doing the homework, writing a paper, etc, concentrate on one step at a time. Don't worry about the reading until after you've gone to class. Don't worry about the paper, until you've done the reading. And so on.

College is hard. There is a certain amount of self-motivation needed which you report having until a short time ago. Hoepfully by approaching tasks as components, you'll be able to get back into the swing of things. And, don't forget that you NEED to take some time for yourself, just stuff YOU want to do, like see a movie, read a book, or hang out with your friends.

You conclude by saying "I really need help. I just want to know what is wrong with me." Amy, you feel you need help, so go to a therapist. There's no shame in it, and the possibility of helping you on many levels is quite high. Most schools have some kind of psychological or social work counseling offered on campus if you aren't covered for mental health visits.

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[Captain Stubing]

Well I think what HK offered is, as usual, dead on. <P> My $.02...many people who have 'problems in living' (meaning-high functioning but working hard at it) get stuck in a rut involving a theme. It's akin to a physical weak spot that gives way when you're stressed out/sick. For exemple, whenever I start to get sick it almost always starts with a sore throat. From what you've written, it seems like your theme is stagnation (I know I'm making assumptions, I'm speculating). <P> HK has addressed an essential part of this, namely making incremental parts of larger tasks. This works well, especially when the problem is feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of a task. I would add that some people make lifestyle changes more effectivily after they have some insight into why they do whatever it is that is the problem (the 'why' of the problem, insight vs. the 'what' of the problem, change). <P> This highlights the importance of the second piece of advice HK gave, namely speaking to someone. Hopefully you'll do that, and here's something to think about to give you a head start. Something that most therapists are taught is that symptoms have a payoff, and knowing what that payoff is and getting the client to honestly face it is an important part of psychotherapy. So I ask, what payoff do you get from being excessivly inert? As distressing as being 'blocked' is, I would argue that it serves some purpose. <P> <P> <P>

Fezaesthesia - Prognosis poor...

[ROMEO]

Just a thought cause I know someone who sounds just like this.
Her basic problem that she's finally admittied to is she's afraid to grow up.
Afriad b/c she's at the point in life that she's going to have to face the world.
I don't know if she feels that she'll be all alone or what. But she knows her friends and family are there for her.

you'll get through it fine i'm sure,you're loved to much not to

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