Does Art Mann take evil delight in interrupting the jacking of millions of men?

[Pootertoot]

E! Wild On serves no purpose other than basic cable whacking material. So why must they insist on putting pasty beefhead Art Mann in between segments of large, undulating breasts to do some wacky thing?

I bet he takes delight in the blue balls he causes.

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Take a Chance, Take a Chance

[Tall_James]

<img src=http://www.eonline.com/On/People/Images/artmann.jpg>

Pooter - don't just bitch about - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!! The following is Art Mann's email address at E! (don't worry Mods, I got it off the E! site)

Send him an email telling him to move the fuck out of the way when the boobies hit the screen!

artm@eonline.com

<img src=http://www.gamemachineguy.com/tjbest.gif>
Thanks Gameguy!

[Pootertoot]

The following is the contents of the email I sent out to Art Mann...I encourage you all to join me and send him letters as well:

I doubt this email will reach you through the phalanx of PR representatives, security, servant boys, and helper monkeys you no doubt have set up to prevent letters like this one from getting to you, but I am writing of a matter of great importance to myself and the teeming millions of self-gratifying fans of "E! Wild On".

Yes, we understand that the show proposes to expose us to foreign culture to which the majority of us will never be exposed, but, for the most part, we consider the show a thinly veiled invitation to masturbate to large, undulating breasts. Sure, it's shallow, but isn't that to be expected? We are watching E! after all.

I am a representative of a larger concern that you take delight in interrupting the gyration of nubile young girls and, thus, the machinations of millions of Stroker Aces in training. If this is the case, we understand. That kind of power is intoxicating. To hold the actions of the palms of so many hands in...well, the palm of your hand. We will not hold it against you if you take sadistic pleasure in our blue balls, but we'd just like confirmation that this is the case.

If, however, you do this because you need to make a living, we humbly request that you find a better outlet for your unique brand of tomfoolery. Personally, I suggest that you bully Todd Newton into giving you "Coming Attractions". You are much larger than he is and he probably considers himself too pretty for fisticuffs. I advise against messing with Kmetko. He's a bear of a man and once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Whatever you choose as your new career, please make sure it doesn't involve interrupting pendulous bosoms.

If you could take the time out of your globetrotting and philandering to satisfy our curiosity, it would be greatly appreciated. If not, could you at least give us an on-air clue as to whether Brooke Burke is a robot or not?

Sincerely,
Lou S.

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[WintersEmbers]

that is the funniest thing i think ive ever read. kudos to you pootertoot. and godspeed in your crusade.

<IMG SRC=http://wintersembers.50megs.com/images/darkangel.jpg>

Wheres your anger? Wheres your fuckin rage?

[Pootertoot]

Art wrote me back, or at least his automailer did, and I recieved this:

Hello,

Thank you for contacting me through E! Online. Due to the high volume of email
I receive, unfortunately I don't get a chance to respond to each individual
message. I do, however, appreciate your interest in my work and want to thank
you for watching me on E! Entertainment Television.

Thank you,
Art Mann

In order to keep the dream alive, I replied:

I can only hope that the form letter response I recieved is just a necessary precaution to weed out the many email requests to be on "Search Party" or solicitations for sexual favors, both male and female. I'm sure if I was to write Steve Kmetko, he'd come to my house to discuss my questions over beer and some jerky, he's just that kind of guy.

But I understand that you must find the wildest hot spots in the Republic of Chad and internet access is limited, but I do hope that when you get a vacation from vacationing, you write us back concerning whether or not you take sadistic pleasure you take in giving us blue balls, or that this was simply a misunderstanding that will be rectified in future "Wild On" episodes. Or, at the very least, get breast implants and wear skimpy clothing.

From Russia With Love,
Lou S.

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[Tall_James]

Bravo, fucking Bravo!

Pooter, you are harnessing the power of the internet to its fullest potential - insuring uninterupted masterbatory sessions for one and all. Your letter was perfect and funny as hell. They should throw him a bone and give him "Coming Attractions". Todd Newton should be relagated to the fashion awards shows with Melissa & Joan Rivers.

Be assured that the email gets read. I once sent an email to Ted Casablancas for his E! Online gossip column, detailing a Michael Jackson siting here in NYC coming out of a Plastic Surgery clinic. I got the automated response as you did, but then received a missive from the man himself, thanking me for the item. He used it in his online column that week.

But I digress. Nice going my friend. Glad I could help to light the fuse that started this thing. Please keep us informed if he writes you back.

<img src=http://www.gamemachineguy.com/tjbest.gif>
Thanks Gameguy!

This message was edited by Tall_James on 6-1-02 @ 7:40 PM

[Pootertoot]

Thank you for being my insider in the world of cockblockers...Mann needs to be stopped so I can return to releasing dead babies into various absorbent (and not-so-absorbent) materials.

How much do you want to bet that Steve Kmetko responds? That man works harder than any celebrity I know.

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[JerseyRich]

How much do you want to bet that Steve Kmetko responds? That man works harder than any celebrity I know.

Works hard on Greg Luganis's ass

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HerbalRich.gif>
AIM:RnF JerseyRich

[Pootertoot]

If Steve Kmetko wanted to fuck you, you couldn't stop him.

But you needn't worry, for he is gentle as a summer breeze.

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Take a Chance, Take a Chance

[WintersEmbers]

if kmetko responded that would be okay i guess. but we need to get to the root of the problem and nip it in the butt.

<IMG SRC=http://wintersembers.50megs.com/images/emo2.jpg>

Wheres your anger? Wheres your fuckin rage?
~Firm supporter of the Unban Christy Campaign. Free the Bullrusher!~

[Tall_James]

If Kmetko responds, can you ask him to slap Jules Asner around? Her "Revealed" show on E! sucks.

<img src=http://www.gamemachineguy.com/tjbest.gif>
Thanks Gameguy!

[Pootertoot]

Well, guess who emailed me back, exactly 2 months after the initial letter was sent:

Art Fucking Mann.

And you know what? He's alright in my book now.

Here is the email he sent me:

Lou,

What a pleasant surprise. Mixed in with the "how do i get a job like yours?"
and the "what is Brooke REALLY like?" e-mails is the e-mail of the year.

Very funny. Listen I'm sorry about the "blue balls" as you put it. Clearly
you are a man who has received some formal medical training. I DO NOT
receive pleasure in "interrupting the gyration of nubile young girls", I am
just making a living over here.

I've talked to Newton, he's not interested
in stepping down. But the good news is I'm planning on jumping over to the
Style network. I've sized up some of their talent and I think I can take
'em. It's show time girls!

Thanks for the e-mail, I gotta go explain to 15
more people what Brooke is REALLY like.

Later, Art M.


With an attitude like this, he may, MAY, one day be as great as Steve Kmetko.

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</center>

[Sheeplovr]

Ask him if he wants to hang out you can go wild on

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS

[JustJon]

Wow. Art Mann just earned cool points in my book. (Points tranferrable to Arienette's prize system at a cost of two-to-one)

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon6.jpg">

[Arienette]

Wow. Art Mann just earned cool points in my book. (Points tranferrable to Arienette's prize system at a cost of two-to-one)it's a very complex system... you can't just go running around letting people into the prize system randomly. ugh, now i'm gonna have to go revise the spreadsheet. thanks a lot, jon

http://members.aol.com/deviantari/myhomepage/arienette.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US
worshiping the dancing rooster... thanks for the sig

i want a lover i don't have to love
i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk

[Tall_James]

Bravo. The story is now complete.

<img src=http://users.rcn.com/jamespatton/talljames1sig.jpg>
Another Sheeplovr Masterpiece

[fezident]

That letter to "The Mann" was perfect.

My faith in the internet, and where it's headed, has been restored.

Can you please direct your super powers towards those two ass-clowns who host American Idol?!?

Fez 4 Prez!!

[Pootertoot]

My week is shot after having Art Mann email me back. Where do you go from there? It peaked.

I do wish he beat up Todd Newton, though. He's asking for it.

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[DarkHippie]

i think you've jumped the shark with art mann

<IMG SRC=http://czmachine.50megs.com/images/dhsig1.gif>

this sig is the masterpiece of the cheesy one
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE!

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat and bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Julie I'd do the stars with you any time-- Dire Straights "Romeo and Juliet"
</i>

<a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Transcendental Blues: a journal</a>

[Aggie]

Poot-You never cease to amaze me....and crack me up! :)

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/aggiedamnsig.jpg ">

*Where my rag wearing soldiers that Love to watch the dough stack Never leave the house without their strap....They know just what a woman need Keep a big bank roll and a bag of weed When it's time to go down they ain't scared to freak, shit....The ball all night type Frontin' screamin, thug life...That's the type of nigga I like....*That's what I'm looking for*

[Sheeplovr]

i think you've jumped the shark with art mann


i think you peaked wiht man boob pumping

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS