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Goddamn Oompa Loompas... [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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Pootertoot
05-22-2001, 11:20 AM
I was in the shower today and I realized that Oompa Loompas are fucking evil.

"What do you get when you guzzle down sweets?" Who are they to fucking judge? They work in a goddamn candy factory. You get a paycheck you sadistic orange bastards.

It is a movie, so we are to assume that they do not know the camera is there...but they put on elaborate musical numbers, constantly playing to the camera, all the result of the misfortune (possibly fatal, mind you) of a child. Were they masters of improvisation or did they actually plan these murders themselves, down to the last detail, to the point that they have a song written and a dance routine choreographed?

My theory is that Willy Wonka knew all along that they were homicidal maniacs. The reason he was giving the factory away is that it was his only way out...young Charlie is living a life of misery, constantly in fear that the green-haired fucks will rebel...but day to day, they do their jobs, stirring the chocolate...and singing and dancing when someone dies.

Mind you, Willy Wonka is one of the top 5 greatest children's movies of all time...but I felt I had to expose the fucks for what they are.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/gotballoon2.gif">

PanterA
05-22-2001, 11:50 AM
that movie is so much better on acid

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/rfsig3

[center]"I crush the rush, I RULE YOU FOOL!"
"I cant see from here, but I can smell your fear!" #8 Corey Taylor (slipknot)
If you want me to make you a SIG Slipknot4twenty@aol.com,just make sure you tell me your board name and what you want in the SIG.

TomPoo
05-22-2001, 12:03 PM
You have to admit that the segment on JAckass with Wee-Man skateboarding dressed as an Ump Loompa was awesome.

Evil or not, Skateboarding Umpa's are funny

REEKING of AWESOMENESS
---Tom Poo

JustJon
05-22-2001, 12:43 PM
Why are you fixedated on midgets when you're naked?

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon.jpg">

Pootertoot
05-22-2001, 12:57 PM
I do my best thinking when I'm in the bathroom. Last time I was in the shower I came up with the best song to rape a retard to. It's "Cotton Eye Joe".

<img src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/gotballoon2.gif">

sunndoggy8
05-22-2001, 02:27 PM
They work in a goddamn candy factory.

I would consider it a chocolate factory...unless you consider chocolate as acutally candy...but i think chocolate is in it's own category...and then again, they did have candy there too....hmmmmmm. nevermind. I have to think about this further. :)

<img border=0 src=http://sunnyk8.homestead.com/files/sunnysig1.jpg width=300 height=80>

~~~"Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them." -Unknown~~~

JustJon
05-22-2001, 06:52 PM
if it's a chocolate factory, then explain the everlasting gobstopper

<b><font color=red>My sig continues to be greater than 300x100 and I don't fucking listen</font></b>

EffMeBoobs
05-23-2001, 10:36 PM
COTTON-EYE JOE

If it had't been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from where did you go
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe
If it had't been...

If it had't been...
If it had't been...

He came to town like a midwinter storm
He rode through the fields so hansome and strong
His eyes was his tools and his smile was his gun
But all he had come for was having some fun

If it had't been...
If it had't been...

He brought disaster wherever he went
The hearts of the girls was to hell broken sent
They all ran away so nobody would know
Aand left only men cause of Cotton-Eye Joe

If it had't been...
If it had't been...

If it had't been...
If it had't been...

If it had't been...



http://members.aol.com/lqqieee/images/fmb.jpgPiddlers and BJQs do it better....There you are you sexy thang...come love me darling.

skullcrush
05-24-2001, 02:47 AM
i like too rape retards too the beat popcorn.they smile as they cry.

"jon benet wasn't that hott without make up on"
-me

Pootertoot
05-24-2001, 05:40 AM
Ms. Boobs, I see you appreciate the subtle yet pounding rhythm of the song that would be perfect to spank out on a retard's ass while you do them.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/gotballoon2.gif">

EffMeBoobs
05-24-2001, 04:06 PM
Actually I'm still distraught over my ex Cotton Eye Joe...I was so much in love with him. Then one day he wiped the cotton out of his eyes and actually took a look at me and he ran for the hills. I haven't been the same since.

http://members.aol.com/lqqieee/images/fmb.jpgPiddlers and BJQs do it better....There you are you sexy thang...come love me darling.