What Should I Do, Part Deux

[ShelleBink]

Ok, I have a reputation of being a much more, promiscuous ((sp)) young lady. granted, a lot of the rumors are true ((but not all of them)). After talking with a bunch of losers and dating them and getting hurt, at the same time I met a guy I enjoy talking with ((online)), and would want to possibly persue something more. However, he does know a lot of people who know of my more "free" past and can find out, either by asking or just by hearing about it by certain people. i know at first he really seemed to enjoy me, but now, i sense a pull back, tho, it might just be fabricated in my mind. i encourage him to tell me things, to be honest, to avoid confusion... but i dont know what he could of heard that i wouldn't have a problem being open about in explaining if only he asked. As of this moment, I'm pulling back myself. I dont know exactly what to do. Should I persist? Should I just let it go, and have him deal with whatever he *may* have heard?

I also have a tendancy to just build up things in my mind that are nothing. I dont know exactly what to do about that, and if its factoring in this situation. I'm planning to meet this said person quite soon, and worried if i should even bother. So, should i go, or should i regret not going?

((ok,. i kno this was long winded, sorry))

<center><b>I'm Not That Innocent...
<img src="http://shellebink.homestead.com/files/sigpicronfez.jpg"></img>
I Mean, Just Look At Me</center></b>
<marquee><font color=iceblue>...so don't hesitate/I won't kiss and tell/no need to worry 'cause/I'm, I'm a professional/the show can start/as soon as I see money on the table/I've an empty space to fill/I'm willing , if you're able...</marquee></font>

[Earth2RON]

its to late for me to be reading so much,so there for i am no help to you:)
I met a guy I enjoy talking with ((online))
its not me:::sniff,sniff:::

Shorty Holla
<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/earthbond.jpg">
"I am willing to do anything to
calm the storm that is with-in your heart"

"If you dont intend on letting me eat your
puss* dont put it in my face"

[ShelleBink]

yea, i didn't meet him here, that's why its safe to talk about it.

<center><b>I'm Not That Innocent...
<img src="http://shellebink.homestead.com/files/sigpicronfez.jpg"></img>
I Mean, Just Look At Me</center></b>
<marquee><font color=iceblue>...so don't hesitate/I won't kiss and tell/no need to worry 'cause/I'm, I'm a professional/the show can start/as soon as I see money on the table/I've an empty space to fill/I'm willing , if you're able...</marquee></font>

[ADF]

yea, i didn't meet him here, that's why its safe to talk about it.


Whew! Thank goodness you said that or people would start to look at me funny. I mean, we're both North Brunswickians and people might start to put two and two together.. Don't want to be accused of robbing the cradle and all that.

<img src= http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/tadf.gif>
Thanks to GameGuy for the sigpic!

[Yerdaddy]

I also have a tendancy to just build up things in my mind that are nothing.
I think this is the key to making the decision you have to make. The scenerio you spell out, (I'm going to meet a guy, but we have some of the same friends, I've got notches in the bedpost, I don't know what they've told him, I don't know if he's pulling away, and if so is it because of what he's heard, or some other reason, or maybe he's not pulling away but ::breathe!:: it only seems that way because I'm building things up in my head, or maybe he's just building things up in his head because he's heard things about my past and he's not bothered by it but he doesn't know how to bring up ::breathe:: that he's not bothered by it without me thinking that he is bothered by it, or... ) is so complicated that you can't see the forest through the trees [first time I've ever used that cliche, I swear - and the last]. When you try to factor in every possible scenerio here, it's so complicated that NASA couldn't come up with all the possible contingencies and their solutions. I say you have to come up with simple rules for how to handle a very general situation like this, (as in how to deal with guys and my past). My suggestion: Tell guys they wouldn't be your first, and if they want to ask you any questions they can, and if they want to hang out still, have fun. Or as they/I say in recovery: keep it simple, stupid.

*jeez I hope she doesn't think that I'm calling her stupid, cuz that's the saying in AA, but it sounds insulting, but ::slap::

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/sigwee.jpg" >
If I don't make you laugh, you don't know what felch means.

[TomPoo]

its like some old advice i once got.

"if a girl is a good at giving head, don't ask how she got good, just enjoy that it is good"

he will have to make his own decisions on how to handle your sexual past.

my advice,

be honest, open, and most importantly TACTFUL, don't make anything you have done sound dirty, cause that is what he is afraid of.

you cannot convince him to be comfortable with your past, just hope that he is mature enough to understand that other guy's dicks have been in your mouth.

<IMG SRC="http://tompoo.50megs.com/images/tompsig3.jpg" width=300 height=100>
There is nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
---Tom Poo

(thanks Fallon for the sig!)

[JerryTaker]

as someone who's been on the other side of this situation....

If you're pretty sure he knows about your past, you have to accept that the playing feild is not level. I feel your best option is convincing him that persuing a relationship with you is a worthwhile endeavour.
If you do anything to suggest that you cannot go any amout of time without falling back into promiscuous behavior, and give him the slightest hint that you'll cheat on him every time he turns his back, if he has the smallest bit of respect for himself, he <I>will</I> pull away, and probably resent you for making him feel nieve, because he trusted you, even though he was aware of these things about you....

It's certainly a touchy situation, and you may want to think about leaving your past as far behind you as you can....

<IMG SRC="http://afs30.njit.edu/~gsm2321/gumbysig5.gif">

I've given my life to become what I am, To preach the new beginning, To make you understand. To reach some point of order, Utopia in mind, you've got to learn To sacrifice, to leave what's now behind...

This message was edited by JerryTaker on 6-7-02 @ 12:14 PM

[HordeKing1]

SHELLE - You describe your reputation as promiscuous, and you also hint of "rumors" some true and some not. You also indicate that this part of your life was in your past.

If he knows people who knew you then, chances are very likely that he has heard of these rumors. People just like to gossip and sex gossip is among the most popular.

You indicate that you feel he has been distancing himself and question whether it is becuase of what he heard. There is really no way to know this. There is also no way to tell if he really has pulled back or if this is your interpretation based upon your fear.

It's great that you're encouraging him to talk; if he's not responding, there is something missing in the relationship that most likely has nothing to do with something he may have heard (and may or may not care about).

I would be very very hesitant to meet someone from the internet who I felt was pulling away before we even met. It just does not bode well for the relationship.

Just a reminder to ALL - If you're meeting someone you met on the internet always meet in a PUBLIC place and go there yourself - don't let him pick you up.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking1">

[ShelleBink]

hopefully, it'll work out, and i do plan to meet in a very very public outdoorsy place during the day. i know i've been very lucky with people i've met online, but im not going to take any chances

thanks for ur input everyone.

<center><b>I'm Not That Innocent...
<img src="http://shellebink.homestead.com/files/sigpicronfez.jpg"></img>
I Mean, Just Look At Me</center></b>
<marquee><font color=iceblue>...so don't hesitate/I won't kiss and tell/no need to worry 'cause/I'm, I'm a professional/the show can start/as soon as I see money on the table/I've an empty space to fill/I'm willing , if you're able...</marquee></font>

[Sheeplovr]

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This message was edited by Sheeplovr on 6-8-02 @ 2:41 PM