Always being the one hurt from the relationship

[BeastofBlood]

This started awhile back, I am always getting hurt when i breakup with someone, usually they breakup with me. Well I have had some serious problems, like for instance i would sometimes be in shock and then try to think what i did wrong, what i could have done to make it work etc. Then i go into a mode where i want my ex to reconsider their thoughts, or i would constantly be after them if they didn't give me a straight answer. If i was really hurt by the breakup i would start becoming depressed, shut out from friends and family, lash out on people for no reason, cry constantly or even go psychotic and cut myself... I need alot of help i guess... But i don't know if i can handle aymore rejections or bad relationships. It starts with the tought that i have in my head that i must be with someone or else i'll be lonely without purpose. Any thoughts on how i should handle this.

Baptism of Blood

[HordeKing1]

BEASTOFBLOOD - You describe quite a few different reactions taking place some normal and some dangerous.


Many people get hurt during a breakup. Unfortunately it's not a rare occurance. Shock and second guessing yourself or your partner are common reactions as well. A short period of depression isn't unusual either.

It starts to get a bit frightening when you refer to wanting your ex to reconsider. You say you'll "constantly be after them if they didn't give me a straight answer."

You use the term "psychotic." I'm not sure if you know exactly what that means. The simplest terms to think of it is a clear break from reality as in auditory or visual halucinations. (In other words any biblical message).

Cutting yourself is extremely serious and shouldn't be neglected. I would make arrangements to speak to a therapist about it immediately.

Finally, you have the thought of needing to be with someone to rescue you from lonliness and to give you purpose. These thoughts are likely tied to feeling of low self worth.


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[Pistolwhipper]

You got to toughen up my man and get some hobbies like weight lifting or collecting stuff, or just ride the tiger man but dont lay blades jack.Aint no box on this earth worth your blood man, beleive it.

[sexy bastard]

ohhh boy
here is a hug for you...in amanly way of course.
(hug)

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www.leohernandez.net
the epitome of masculinity (yeah right)

[BeastofBlood]

Yeah, I mean about constantly going after them, I would be calling them to set up a time to talk about the problem, I'm always trying to solve a problem that is impossible to work out. <P>
The cutting part i have stoped since my last ex, but that was only becuase i had some extreme feelings for this person and the fact I had some serious family problems, which acumulated to that action. <P>
I have been to a therapist before for like 3 months, I found so little help from that... I was on meds before, but i stopped taking them because they slowed me down. <P>
I think my problem is worse being that I'm a Gay male. Gay relationships are alot more fustrating than most str8 relationships. <P>
<P>

Baptism of Blood

[BeastofBlood]

I have been trying to keep a hobby of collecting stuff from my favorites bands in Japan. That keeps my mind occupied

Baptism of Blood

[Pistolwhipper]

Sounds cool my man, I hope you feel better.

[HordeKing1]

BEASTOFBLOOD - You're right about your being gay adding a major stressor to your life. If you're "in the closet" in real life, you're denying a part of yourself and pretending to be something you are not. If you're out of the closet you have to contend with stupid prejudices and hatred as well as other enviornmental conditions which can make things more difficult than for a non-gay male.

This may give you some dubious comfort, but many hetero relationships are plenty frustrating too.

If you felt the therapist wasn't helping you, perhaps you should consider a different therapist. I'd recomend a social worker with experience with gay clinetelle.

NEVER EVER stop taking psychoactive medication cold. There are all sorts of horrible side effects that can happen. You have to be weened off these drugs.

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[fiestygal]

Hey fella....yea i hear your pain BUT at least you are very lucky to be in relationships...many don't even get that chance- i know rejection VERY WELL and its a BEE-OTCH- OH BY THE WAY this is my first time posting- but in the end they will realize that you were the one that got away
*******fiesty******

[Hawiian shirt craig]

beast, remember that you are not the first one to
want to cut yourself or the last. i was blessed with
good brain chemistry but you are not. its not your
fault that your brain does funky ass things to its
self. the meds can't cure you only treat you. our
society teaches self-loathing for many homosexuals
(esp men) so try and take a break from dating, its
done wonders for me, but then again i'm str8.

you have to be happy alone before you can be
happy with anyone else.

-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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[ZealandGirl]

I feel like I am the one who is always getting hurt. I always feel that I like the person more than they like me. It's hard to explain. I play it off like I don't get hurt or I come off really 'hardcore' but it's an act. I've seen it all and I've heard it all...I know how to cover up my feelings.






One thing I don't understand is why your Buddha is that color...it should be green....like kryptonite green.

[Noellevious]

You're so used to being the victim that you now play it in every relationship. Women don't want that. You shouldn't either. Stop being the victim.

Maybe that's harsh, but whatever works.

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