Have you ever lost a friend to suicide? [Archive]

View Full Version : Have you ever lost a friend to suicide?

Captain Rooster

06-25-2002, 10:35 PM

Fuck it.
I am lost in a moment.

I have posted before about him (Chris), but I don't care anymore.

I listen to Sevendust, and think of the friend I lost; Chris.

I know you never said goodbye; I had so much left to say.

I feel those words. The band Sevendust put them down on paper.

You were fighting, everyday, so hard to hide the pain; I know you never said good-bye; I had so much left to say.

One last song, given to an angels son, as soon as you were gone.

I miss you my friend

I pray for you
We still love you

I can't believe you're gone

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This message was edited by LTRooster on 6-26-02 @ 2:59 AM

Fallon

06-26-2002, 12:09 AM

Geez, she wasn't someone I hung out with all the time, but she lived on my street and I knew her. This was like 10 years ago.

I think she was about 16 and was dating a black guy (she was white) that her father didn't approve off. She killed herself with her dad's gun (he was a cop).

Very sad.

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Rev

06-26-2002, 01:24 AM

I had a female friend who hung herself, partially due to something I was involved in...

She was dating a scumbag who dumped her and she was way depressed about it. The very next guy she slept with, who was a friend of mine at the time, secretly video taped it. I saw the video the next day along with a huge group of our friends, and the news got to her quickly.
She hung herself in her attic, and her younger sister found her in time to save her life, but leaving this poor girl with serious brain damage. She's about the capacity of a 4 yr old now, for life.
I knew he was going to video tape it, and i should have talked him out of it. I was young and very dumb.
The guilt will be with me till the day i die.

xoxoxo,
Rev

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synthfiend

06-26-2002, 05:29 AM

My girlfriend lost two friends to suicide her grandmother, and her sister died in a car wreck in the same year. When the first friend died she made the suicide note into a song and sang it to me. It was one of the ost surreal and painful experiences I've ever had.

Stop asking the Fiend how he feels! He never feels good and he hates you ALL!!

A.J.

06-26-2002, 02:15 PM

A favorite high school teacher of mine committed suicide during my junior year. I never knew why he did it.

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Jennitalia

06-26-2002, 02:22 PM

a friend from high school committed suicide because he was afraid of going to jail.

an exboyfriend's stepfather shot himself in the head (his 6 year old son was upstairs when he did it) and killed himself downstairs where we used to hang out

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AngelAmy

06-26-2002, 02:58 PM

ShelleBink

07-14-2002, 03:12 PM

well i wasnt too close to this girl but we used to hang out during lunch periods with eachother, she wasnt a close friend but she was a friend
she had so many problems with so many different things, last summer i got a phone call saying she hung herself...
the strange thing is i didnt know exactly how to act about it, i didnt cry, it was kinda expected to happen one of these days, i know its sad but its true

i can still see keith just crying and crying at the table that day.

***
my best friend/boyfriend shot himself in the head. i was on the phone w/ him at the time trying to talk him out of it ((i live in jersey, he lived outside of boston))

he was my fuckin life. and to this day i dont think i could forgive him for doing that to me. i'm still grieving and it's been a year and a half

ironically, this week i've been missing him a lot, but for some reason, i can always hear him say "I love you, I'm sorry" whenever I miss him most.

...ok, I guess I sound crazy now.

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fiestygal

07-14-2002, 08:13 PM

i have never...I THANK GOD..lost anyone close to me BUT i almost lost someone who is like my whole world....i was 12 goin on my 13th bday....about a month before my 13th it happend and was to comeout of the hospital on my BDAY...but didnt for my 13th bday i was at a mental hospital visiting this person adn it still hurts to talk about...i just recently said it out loud to a friend at college what happened and i was balling the whole time BUT it was a release...i get scared something like that will happen again...SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A SHORT TERM PROBLEM

I am a goofball & swell to boot

GrimSanity

07-14-2002, 09:06 PM

i watched a friend (almost GF) cut both of he wrist infront of me made a big mess. it's funny i just watched and watched. i don't know that may sound cold but i never really missed her or anything this happend about 6 years ago.

Your local serial killer
Grim Sanity

legroommusic

07-16-2002, 11:25 PM

I did twice. When I was ten, I lost afriend to a hanging in jersey city. Later on I lost a friend due to carbon monoxide poisoning. I know that it seems like I'm collecting them, but I'm not. I don't know what these people were thinking. I just think that they want attention, no matter what the cost. If you want attention, someone is there for you. Don't nobody die for that reason.

They're not all gems

Joe Insight

07-17-2002, 05:13 AM

I almost lost myself to suicide...does that count?

Pootertoot

07-17-2002, 09:47 AM

I had a friend that hung herself back in high school. She had called me the same night but I didn't take the call. That wasn't fun.

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CreepyGyrl

07-17-2002, 09:56 AM

well when I was in highschool, one of the kids in the group I hung out in killed himself. It was during one of our notorious nights of drinkin, he just got up from the couch and screamed "FUCK IT I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE" and then ran out the door. Wed tried to chase him but we were too slow. By the time we caught up with him he had run into the middle of Route 17 North, and before we knew it he got hit, throwing his body into another car then another and another. By the time it was done he had been hit by 4 cars. He was dead by the time the ambulance got there and it was a grusome mess that I will never forget.
I may have not bee nvery close, but still to see something like that scars you for life.

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Jackie Sloan

07-17-2002, 10:17 AM

A guy I went to school with since kindergarten...heavy drugs, early age, trashy parents...anyway, he moved to California after high school, a few years later there's a story going around town he died because a refrigarator fell on him-ridiculous. The truth is he hung himself. Hope the pain is gone Jeff.

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GregoryJoseph

11-18-2008, 02:16 PM

(As talked about on today's show)

Three or four years ago I received a phone call from the father of a friend I had lost contact with over the years. He had married, started a successful business, and moved to Vegas, so we had absolutely no contact for about 10 years even though we used to be the best of buddies in our teens and twenties. His father told me my buddy had killed himself and left a list of people he wanted to be contacted and regretted not speaking to over the years and I was on the list.

It was a really weird feeling, and the wake was particularly brutal. I still don't know all the circumstances surrounding the suicide, but from what I was told he had pretty much gone off the deep end and had lost his mind. It sounded like he had become the main character in "A Beautiful Mind" and when his wife insisted he seek professional help he refused. She threw him out of the house and he was living in a hotel, calling her every night. When a couple of nights went by without hearing from him she called the police. They went to the hotel and found him dead.

I can't have anger for someone who is so far gone mentally doing that to themselves, but I do agree that people who are of sound mind and commit suicide (especially when they leave children behind) are incredibly selfish and egotistical.

That being said, I do believe that a person's life is their own and I think you have the choice whether or not to die with dignity. We put our cats and dogs to sleep so they don't have to suffer, yet we'll let people wither and die the most painful of deaths because we feel it's somehow morally wrong to end their life early.

Has anyone close to you ever committed suicide? What were the circumstances? Could you ever imagine a scenario where it would seem acceptable?

zildjian361

11-18-2008, 02:22 PM

Thank God no

Dougie Brootal

11-18-2008, 02:28 PM

a girl i went to school with grade 6 - till senior year hung herself on my 18th birthday. kinda hard to enjoy a lapdance with that on your mind....

Hottub

11-18-2008, 02:29 PM

GJ brings up some good points.
People are always quick to say, it's a coward's way out and only the loved ones loses.
But if someone is truly ill and the can no longer bear the anguish, or they don't have the ability to open up to somebody, it happens.
The guy who blew the mortgage on coke and hookers is a loser.
The person who has a few mis-firing neurons, or a chemical imbalance (without treatment), can they be put into the same category?

Fortunately, nobody that close to me has taken their own life. But I know I will judge the circumstances before jumping to a rash conclusion.

yojimbo7248

11-18-2008, 02:31 PM

My wife had a friend kill himself recently. He had problems with serious depression for years. He went on meds and was doing fine but it killed his libido. Then he met a woman, fell madly in love, got married, and couldn't stand what the drugs did to his sex drive. His wife was sympathetic but their relationship couldn't continue in the state that he was in on his meds. He knew that he would get suicidal again without his meds but decided that it was worth the risk. I seriously feel for the guy and think he had no good, easy choice. I disagree with that talk about suicides always being cowards and the anger toward them. Serious depression is just as bad as a medical condition like leukemia. I have tons of sympathy toward people who struggle with this.

Lady Resin

11-18-2008, 02:48 PM

My cousin jumped to his death on the Newark Bay Extension Bridge about 5 years after his sister died on 9/11 in the South tower. He left behind 3 daughters and a wife who beat breast cancer.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/29/Newark_Bay_Bridge_seen_from_the_waterfront_of_Bayo nne.JPG/250px-Newark_Bay_Bridge_seen_from_the_waterfront_of_Bayo nne.JPG

:down:

IamFogHat

11-18-2008, 03:01 PM

A friend of mine shot himself in the head when we were about 18 or so. He had a lot of problems with drugs and mental shit. It was very sad. His family was destroyed by it, but I guess that goes without saying.

MacVittie

11-18-2008, 04:42 PM

A couple have made insincere attempts, but no

(knock on wood)

SouthSideJohnny

11-19-2008, 07:16 AM

A close buddy committed suicide about three weeks ago. I'm 39 now, and I knew him since we were 4. He was the most brilliant guy I've ever known - dropped out of high school, got his GED and then got 1500+ on his SAT. We went to school together, off and on, from elementary school through law school. He always had an addictive personality and dabbled in just about everything, but was able to control it most of the time so that he was a functioning addict. From the outside, he had everything - a wife, daughter, great job, political connections, etc. . . . Unfortunately, the addiction got the best of him and he started smoking crack. That did him in.

He had a publicized arrest a few months back. At that point, he got clean - stopped using everything cold turkey - and was going to rehab meetings but lapsed into a severe depression. He isolated himself from almost everyone for about two months until the depression finally got the best of him. I think about him every day, and I can’t imagine how his family is dealing with it.

niciggy

11-19-2008, 06:15 PM

my mother committed suicide when I was 23. I was a young, immature 23. My mother was my lifeline. I'm 39 now, and still dealing with it through therapy, even today. Actually today I had another appointment.
I started to get angry about 3 years ago when I realized how much she is missing of my girls lives.
I still tend to idolize her, and only think about the good things.
It was the first real death I ever experienced.
I cannot get to the point where I blame her, or think she is selfish. I think she was in constant mental anguish and she couldn't take it anymore.
I have lots of mental anxiety, panic, OCD (think female married fez) and my main goal in life is to stop this behavior with me and not pass it to my kids.
I hope sharing this with all of you speaks to someone out there. you guys are great!:wub:
Nicole in D.C.

WampusCrandle

11-19-2008, 08:37 PM

a friend of mine hung himself in his home after having his girlfriend leaving for college. all of us were heading out to college, but he didn't. it was surreal to find out he did it. it hurt me more than a family death. i dont know why.

i will always feel responsible, even though i wasn't there.

rest in peace, matt ... :glurps:

CofyCrakCocaine

11-19-2008, 09:13 PM

Someone should move this thread to That's Life!

Hate to say it but I'd be more surprised if someone never experiences this in an indirect way at least once in the span of their life.

This topic brings back memories. I haven't thought about this in years...

In 1997 I was in Europe. Before the age of easy access internet and everyone having cell phones. I get back to the States after a couple weeks and see that a girl who was part of a group I hung around with them days had left me an email. I always liked her, she made me laugh all the damn time. Beautiful sense of humor. She cheered everyone up.

Well, she was really upset in her letter. Her parents had been killed in an accident earlier that year and she had gotten into some kinda big relationship with a sorta-friend of mine. Big to her, nothing to him- just a fun thing for him to do on the side. He disappeared one day, none of us ever saw him again. No idea why- he was a dealer so that might've had something to do with it.

Anyway, all this really got to her. She poured her heart out to me and said she didn't know how much longer she could take it. She had lost everyone important to her in a year's time and wrote to me as a last resort cuz I was her last friend she felt she could turn to. She begged me to reply as soon as I could, get in touch with her, talk to her all that. She sent it day after I landed in London. I didn't read it until at least 11 days later. By then it was too late.

I still don't know how I should feel about it all. Am I responsible in any way? I know I let her down... even if that wasn't technically true how do I know she didn't think I also was rejecting her? Maybe she was too far gone anyways. But I still wish like hell that I could have spoken with her, tried to help. Wishful thinking.

I make up for it by making sure I'm always there for someone if they need a talk nowadays.

Fuck this thread.

RoseBlood

11-19-2008, 09:34 PM

I'm very sorry to hear this CCC and I hope you realize you had zero responsibility. You have definitely more then "made-up" for it (as you say). Your willingness to listen and offer up sound advice never goes unnoticed here.

keithy_19

11-20-2008, 04:33 PM

Almost did.

jamie38

11-21-2008, 10:18 AM

When I was in high school we had a neighbor who killed himself. He was a fairly successful businessman with a wife and kids. Apparently, one day he went out and blew pretty much his entire life savings on a private plane. Later that week he flew it right into the ocean and left a note on his dresser. Didn't really know him, so it didn't really affect me...but what a selfish way to go out. Not onlydid he leave them without a father, but he left them pretty much broke.

Liverspot

11-24-2008, 06:23 PM

In a neighborhood bar I used to frequent this guy with a full head mask would show up. He was a terrible burn victim. At first he was shy, then as we talked to him more he would talk more and actually got ugly pissed off at times.

We would talk to him for awhile and finally he took the mask off so we could see the extent of the burn. He had no nose or ears and he had extensive work done to rebuild the "skin" on his face. Once we got past the burn factor I actually enjoyed talking with him, and I know he did too since he gave me his hospital room number when he went in for his therapy. The first and last time I went to visit him he was not there. The fucker had saved his meds and od'ed him self.

I found out later his burn was from falling asleep with a cig while he was passed out and he set the apt on fire.

EliSnow

11-25-2008, 05:48 AM

In 1997, I was in my last year of law school. My roommate was working for DLJ, an investment banking firm, and they were moving him to London for six months to work. The firm was paying for his rent, so he kept paying for his share of the apartment. So I had an extra room in my Manhattan apartment.

At that time, one of my best friends (who happened to be an ex-gf) asked if her brother could live with me. He was manic depressive/bipolar and living in Austin, and they wanted to move him closer to the the rest of the family. At that point, there was my friend, her twin brothers, and her sister, and all but the one brother was living in Manhattan. The parents had died three years earlier, the father to stomach cancer, and the mother a suicide. She too was manic depressive/bipolar.

The whole family had been great to me during my cancer recovery so I agreed, but noted that if it got too much, we possibly would have to rethink it. The guy was a really great guy and a fun roommate, but it was definitely tough. Twice I came home to find him in a suicide attempt. Once trying to gas himself with our oven, and the other ODing. The first time, I didn't call 911, but we talked for hours, and then I called his brother when we woke up. The second time I called 911 and his brother and we got him into Bellevue.

At one point, he seemed to be doing better and was going to a facility in Texas. While there he left the compound, got a gun and shot himself in a hotel room. I was on vacation at that time, and didn't make the funeral.

His death had a huge impact on me. I saw the pain he was going through, and saw how tough it was. I mean, as with anyone, he experienced life through the filter of his mind, and his mind was hurting him, all the time. He saw no respite from that pain other than death. I wish he hadn't killed himself, and don't think he should have, but I understand a little bit why he did it.

Gvac

02-15-2009, 06:02 PM

Bump.

MHasegawa

02-15-2009, 06:49 PM

they're all gone? fuck y'all

TripleSkeet

02-16-2009, 07:49 AM

I had a friend from high school put a shotgun in his mouth and blow his head off. He had gotten mixed up with drugs and apparently owed people alot of money.

Another night I came home from work to see about 10 cops cars up my street. A friend of mine had been walking up the street, talking to another friend of ours about how he was depressed because his girlfriend dumped him. Then he just turned around, put a gun in his mouth, and pulled the trigger.

The woman that bought my parents house when I was 13 hung herself in it a few years later.

I cant even list the amount of friends of mine that have died from accidental drug overdoses.

I dont know, to me its just senseless. Not taking into account those with serious REAL mental health defects or physical pain due to illness I honestly think people that kill themselves are cowards. I just cant see how you can give up over money troubles or losing a girlfriend. I understand it hurts but I mean its just such a pussy way out in my opinion.

Skellington

02-17-2009, 12:05 PM

I knew 2 people very well that committed suicide, but their deaths don't hurt as much as the 11 people I knew that went to the middle east and came back to rest in Arlington Cemetary. :down:

hedges

02-17-2009, 09:49 PM

I had a very good friend kill himself two months ago. I saw him two days before he did it. He was a positive vibrant person without any apparent problems. I went out of town and came back to a telephone call explaining what happened. Sad days.

bigredd

02-18-2009, 05:09 PM

Yep. Turned out he was stealing from some business partners/mutual friends of ours too. He was always good to me though and I miss him sometimes...but mostly pissed he took the fuckin cheap way out. He'd had it shitty before and I guess didn't want to go back. The crazy part is, one of his business partners and a brother in law both dies in accidents in a span of not more than six months after he used the toe attachment of a 30.06 in the cab of his pickup.

Mullenax

02-19-2009, 10:58 AM

Yes. He was one of my best friends and my bf's long time best friend.
We drove to Maryland from Indiana for Christmas and got in at about 2:30 that morning, as soon as we walked in the door our phones started ringing. He had shot himself in the head outside of a party and the cops had just given them clearance to use the phone. All our friends tried to resucitate him but he died instantly. We sat vigil all night until 6 in the morning at the apartment where he died Christmas Eve, nobody would leave to go home. He lived "on the edge" but we don't know if he meant to do it or not.
Christmas was bizarre without him. I fucking hate Christmas now.