Is Death the only key to happiness?

[squishy]

I have strong feelings to just end my life. I want to be happy but I realized no matter what i do or say to people I will never be truly happy anymore.

Why? What Did I do to deserve this? Why am I feeling like shit?

Why do I have todeal with the pain of losing something that was special in my eyes?

You are a smart man hordeking but Honestly Why Shouldnt of I been prepaired for this?

They say, ifyou love something so much give it away and it comes back it's yours forever.

I Gave it away and it came back? but it's gone again... forever..... Thats what hurts.. that's what painful

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

squishy,

The saddest thing of all is to lose hope. Don't give into that! I know what it's like to lose someone very close to you (both parents, my "family," and "lovers"). I understand. Some of us are VERY sensitive. We are vulnerable. Sometimes you just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Been there. BUT if you are *SERIOUS* about ending it all, PLEASE REACH OUT AND SEEK HELP!!! I know it seems bleak now. It gets better-- trust me. Life is a learning experience.

Please e-mail me if you need to vent.

xoxo~
Fuzzy

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Do you have the time/ To listen to me whine/ About nothing and everything all at once/ I am one of those/ Melodramatic fools/ Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it

[Earth2RON]

*go rent vanilla sky

Sunshine i wanna lap dance on my tongue
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"I am willing to do anything to
calm the storm that is with-in your heart"

"If you dont intend on letting me eat your
puss* dont put it in my face"

[grlNIN]

Squishy.....i feel that i have to say the following things to you, maybe because i have been in your position for a relatively long time, maybe because its human nature to comment on things like this and try to instill hope in the thinker themselves but here goes...

As long as you feel like theres no way out, nowhere to turn and no one to lean on you will be like this, you will put yourself down, feel insecure, think that love, trust, compassion, and understanding are books that keep falling from the shelf and cannot be picked up again.Im sorry if i sound condescending....but if you look at my posts you will see that i have been in your exact same shoes, and i have learned that the most important thing...above all, more important than your friends and family is YOU and also your LIFE...because NO ONE has control over you or your actions, no one can force an emotion upon you, so dont ever let anyone feel you are not good enough for them, if they leave you for the simple reason that they dont love you...than its not you, its just not meant to be but if they make you feel imperfect than their aim is not true and they dont really respect you for the person you are. Dont ever give up on yourself....you control your own destiny,so reach for the stars.

I am The Fragile
<img src="http://members.aol.com/erinmoran01/images/nin.gif" height=100 width=300>
~Coven Member~Violent Echo...cover your ears~

i got my head, but my head is unraveling
can't keep control, can't keep track of where it's traveling
i got my heart but my heart is no good
and you're the only one that's understood

i come along but i don't know where you're taking me
i shouldn't go but you're reaching, dragging, shaking me
turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
the more i give to you, the more i die

[Death Metal Moe]

Althought Death is a way of life, there is no need to take your own life.

I don't have any words of wisdom for you. I haven't found too many myself. I find comfort in the fact that others are annoyed at my mere existence on this Earth.

Hopefully, the Horde King can help you out.

EVIL REIGNS!!!

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www.unhallowed.com

[HordeKing1]

SQUISHY - Death isn't a key to happiness - it's the end of any possibility of being happy.

Thoughts of suicide cannot be taken lightly. Although the probability of actually doing so depends on many factors (including gender) if you are at the point where you are thinking of suicide as a viable means of ending your hurt you must see a therapist immediately.

If you actually have already thought of a plan or method of committing suicide don't wait for a therapist appointment. Go to an emergency room now.

Regarding your desire to be happy - everyone wants to be happy. I don't believe that happiness is ever out of reach, nor do I believe that happiness is something magical that "happens." To a large extent we make our own happiness by learning to look at things in certain ways and to take pleasure in a wider variety of accomplishments than we are used to.

You wrote that "no matter what i do or say to people I will never be truly happy anymore." Happiness comes from inside. You cannot be made happy by others. That is not to say (of course) that you can't be happy with someone. You just can't count on anyone other than yourself to make you happy. No one, other than yourself can change the way you feel.

Unfortunately, in life there are many things that simply cannot be changed no matter how we wished otherwise. The only thing we can change about these situations is the way we think about them, or deal with them.

You didn't do anything to "deserve" not being happy. There is a blunt but accurate bumper sticker you must have seen - "shit happens." It's true in every life. You are not targeted for this shit, and your destiny is not in the crapper. When shit happens, it's extraoridnarily difficult to deal with. It's painful, it's disorienting, it even upsets our view of justice and reality.

But just like "shit happens" good things happen too. It's much easier to focus on the shit, but it's healthier to consider all the positive things in your life as well. If you cannot find positive things in your life, I'd sumbit that this is due to depression (clinical or not) which colors your vision.

Again, if suicidal thoughts are strong and you have some type of plan, go to an ER immediately. If not, seeing a therapist can help you deal with the hard times you're going through.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking1">

[squishy]

Honestly I dont know what I am anymore. I wake up and i do my routine. Im so fake to people it's sick. I cant even look a stranger in the eye anymore. It's like im embarassed of what i am or became. I used to be a nice person. And I some how lost it. I lost the will to work, to sleep, to breathe, Im Just blah. Im here. I pay my bills, i watch tv, i am online. I see my friends and Im not happy.

Like I said I was once happy. Prob the most happiest person in the world. It all came crashing down and Im not happy anymore. Finally someone broke me, Im offically sad.

I've been though bouts of depression before and I've kicked it but this is the absoulte worst i ever experienced. Usually I turn to food for comfort. Now I turn it away. I havent kept or eaten anything of substance in over a week now. I just feel like a big huge hole is in me. Im sad.

[CYYYFYYY]

In my opinion ther is no sure thing with an afterllife
..... I rather be miserable than have abslute
nothing..........


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
Please don't call me a nice guy

[Coco]

Squishy: I am not sure if you have tried any antidepressants, but there are many of them out there. If one doesn't work, another might. I know they work, I have been on them myself and they do lift you out of a lot of the negative thinking. It's really nothing to be embarassed about anymore. A lot of people are on them (I think they are up there as the #1 selling prescription drug in America). I'd say give them a try, even if it is for this temporary slump you are in.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive