children of inter-faith marriages

[Arienette]

hi hk...

some recent occurences in my family have made me start thinking a lot about this issue. in most inter-faith marriages, are the children raised one religion or the other? none? both? moreover, when the children are raised under two different religions, how does this work? is it healthy for them? do they get confused or screwed up because of it?

i know it's the sort of thing that really depends on the person, and there may be no concrete answers, but i'd appreciate any answers you may have...

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[Aggie]

I don't know first hand, but I had friends in that situation. Either they were raised nothing and given the choice to pick one (but neither parent was very religious) or one of the parents converted so there would be one religion. That's a hard situation. It would have been very confusing to me as a child if one of my parents thought Jesus was the Messiah and the other didn't. I guess it depends on how important your religion is to you . I think if it is very important to someone, most likely they will not marry someone outside of their's.

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[HordeKing1]

ARI - AGGIE had a nice response and I agree that there is no single concrete answer, but it is rather dependant upon the people involved.

When neither are particularly religious, it's not often an issue between the couple and the kids are raised with an amalgam of the two faiths, or neither, or encouraged to find their own answers.

Far from being unhealthy for the kids, it's wonderful that they are exposed early to the idea that there is no single universal truth.

When one person in the relationship has strong faith and the other does not, the religion of the person with the stronger faith (and hence emotional attachment) tends to be practiced and taught to the kids. The caveat to this is, that sometimes, a person who is deeply religious will not marry someone who is not.

When both people in a relationship have different faiths, and they are both strong in their faith, it's very problematic. Even if the couple can reach an agreement as to how they will live and what they will practice, the arangements tend to fall apart when it comes to the kids, with each person asserting the supremecy of his or her beliefs. That causes a MAJOR conflict in kids and is not healthy at all.



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This message was edited by HordeKing1 on 7-24-02 @ 2:19 AM

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