guilt and love

[Arienette]

sorry, this might get a little long...

i have this boy in my life right now... i posted about him once before. he's someone who i dated many years ago, who i've been friends with since, and who has recently expressed an interest in being with me again.

anyway, recently i've been talking to him online a bunch, and he's started in on me about some stuff going on in my life. he sort of e-yelled at me the other night about how i live and how he expects a lot from me and all. it sounds worse than it was, but it was hard to hear. a sort of tough love, i suppose. but, given his interest in me, i dont know how to take anything he says. he's tried to make me feel badly for being involved in a reasonably dysfunctional situation that i'm in now. maybe he's trying to help, i dont know, but it was hurtful all the same.

then, he'll say stuff like this:honestly, you amaze me. all the time. I really do think of you as the most intelligent, most engaging woman I think I've ever metwhile i find that very flattering, when it comes after the other stuff, it sort of falls a little flat. does he really expect that i'll take his chastising and repremands, then his compliments, and love him?

does this sound like manipulation to anyone, or am i just insane?

http://members.aol.com/deviantari/myhomepage/arienette.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US
worshiping the dancing rooster... thanks for the sig

i want a lover i don't have to love
i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk

[sexy bastard]

what it sounds like to me after he chastizes you and then compliments you it does not sound right, sounds like maybe i dont know he might realize he fucked up and now kissing ass

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[DarkHippie]

if you admit that you are in a bad situation, why would you refuse to listen to what he has to say? do you think he doesn't care about you at all and feigning concern is just some evil scheme to get into your pants?

I think that you are using his feelings for you as an excuse not to hear what he has to say, becuase it hurts too much. You don't want to admit the mistakes you made, and this is an easy way of denying them.

don't be so defensive. when people care about you, they try to help. all you have to do is listen.

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All I do is keep the beat and bad company
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[fatty]

sounds like manipulation to me. break her down and then build her back up, that's how it works.

just remember, even if has your best interests in mind it will be clouded by the fact that he likes you, therefore making his opinion very biased and very suspect.

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FATTY- Where it's at

[sexy bastard]

i agree fatty...no one likes fucking mind games


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the epitome of masculinity (yeah right)

[Aggie]

I love teh Fatty! I'm just gonna start coming to you for advice. :)

Ari-That's a hard call for us to make since we truly don't know the situation. I would be wary and agree with what Fatty said...BUT if you do have some interest in him, just keep living your life the way you are and be happy. If you two continue to talk and he seems more genuine, then maybe pursue something, but I would lay low for now. You don't want to jump into something and regret it and you defintley don't want him trying to change you.

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~Aggie's alter ego in bizarro world~
~brought to you by the not so funny Al Dukes Fan~

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

sounds like manipulation to me. break her down and then build her back up,
that's how it works.

just remember, even if has your best interests in mind it will be clouded by the
fact that he likes you, therefore making his opinion very biased and very
suspect.


I LOVE THE FATTY!!!!

Randi,

It's a form of control. Be very careful. I know he has your best interests at heart, just watch your back. If the manipulation starts here, imagine where it might lead to. You're too strong a woman for that crap!!!!

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[Arienette]

I think that you are using his feelings for you as an excuse not to hear what he has to say, becuase it hurts too much. You don't want to admit the mistakes you made, and this is an easy way of denying themhippie, this isnt really the case. first off, i know where i've made mistakes and all.. i mean, i've even presented it to him that way. he would know nothing of my situation had i not told him about it. not only that, but i listened to what he had to say. i dont doubt that he is genuine. but you can still use things like that to manipulate people...

everyone else, that's kind of what i thought. like i said above, i dont doubt that he's being honest and trying to help, in a way. but it seemed like he was using this as a way to get me feeling badly so he could be the one to make it better. the more he says to me, the more i feel that way. thanks for the advice

http://members.aol.com/deviantari/myhomepage/arienette.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US
worshiping the dancing rooster... thanks for the sig

i want a lover i don't have to love
i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk