The DEFINITIVE answer to the Polar Bear vs. Gorilla

[blakjeezis]

The other thread got whacked so I'll make it short and sweet. I spoke with the head of Primates at the Bronx Zoo today. He's been doing his shit for 10 years and knows what he's talking about. He said a Polar Bear would kill a Gorilla, hands down, in a one on one matchup. The Polar Bear is a killing machine much like a Tiger or a Shark. If it saw you out in the open, it would kill you, simply because it can. Even an Alpha Male Silverback, though it would get a few good shots in, would get shredded by the Polar Bear. One of the main reasons is a Polar Bear outweighs a Gorilla, even the biggest ones, by two or three times.

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[Death Metal Moe]

But what if the Polar Bear had a Swanus?

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[DarkHippie]

what if it was Gorilla Grod?

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[TheMojoPin]

What if it was Grape Ape...wearing an X-LARGE ensemble?

Someone get dat.

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[HordeKing1]

Of course. The polar bear is a carnivore and the gorilla a herbivore.

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[TheMojoPin]

The polar bear will simply be too fat from eating nothing Klondike Bars washed down with an ocean of bottled Coca-Cola to put up a decent fight. The gorilla, hardened by a life of banging Sigourney Weaver and eating Bruce Campbell, will no doubt ride up on his horse, shoot the bear in the throat, and banish him to the Forbidden Zone. Case...CLOSED.

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