Why are guys so scared of commitment?

[NurseMira]

Seriously...why?

I was talking to my stepmother today and she was telling me how her daughter had to move out and threaten to never speak to her boyfriend in order for him to realize that they were meant to be married. I know other guys who are also really scared of commitment. But why? I think it's cool to hangout with someone who makes you laugh, who you feel you're compatible with and so on...if things don't workout then they don't workout...life goes on.

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thank you for the sig, mindtank

Let the sun shine...

[irishkb]

I am not say this is true or not... But before the marriage the sex is there and comes often... Now you go and talk to most married men and they say how there is little sex and forget about getting a blow job... Now to most men why would you ruin something you enjoy with that person by getting married. I sit and hear stuff like that every day at my job.. the married men are all like you have girlfriend right? yes i do why? don't make the mistake, don't get married man... so this is what most young single men hear from the people who are married.. and in most cases girls control when sex happens.. so if the wife is holding out till she gets a new dishwasher or something to that why would anyone want to.. as for being single or having a boy/girl-friend give me my chick any day.. she rocks..

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another kb original...


"IM"-mick0306

[NurseMira]

Even relationships, though. I know a lot of guys who don't even want a relationship. It's like they are scared. I guess that the whole time they have a girlfriend they're missing out on wild orgies, one-night stands and short-term flings.

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thank you for the sig, mindtank

Let the sun shine...

[irishkb]

i was always the single guy with the friends who had girlfriends.. so i have witness the horrors of relationships and the suckiness of being single. people who always feel they are missing some better by being single just have to learn they will be masturbating a lot.. haha to each his own.. ahhhh fuck it guys are stupid and icky.. a hahahaahaaaaaaa

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another kb original...


"IM"-mick0306

[Crazy for Crazy]

FOUR WORDS: Not scared just smart... lol sorry I couldn't help it...

[The real Kenny Allen]

This sounds like a job for TOM LEYKIS! <P>

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Nooo wait, Im the one who says things.

[Cybersoldier]

Not all guys are scared of commitment, like myself if I'm really into a girl and were dating for a while I don't mind committing to her

<IMG SRC="http://cybersoldier.iwarp.com/images/cyber.jpg">
thanks earth2ron

[CYYYFYYY]

I am not scred... My problem
is usually when I say hi my
name is CYYYFYY the ladies are
runnning.... How odd....


David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
Party Harty!!!!!!!

[Death Metal Moe]

I don't know. Why are women always trying to get men chained down?

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[Justice4all]

Ok Mira....this is gonna be a BIT long.
I cannot speak for anyone else but myself. I have been married before, the true sign of no fear for commitment. Not all the stories are true, but some are.
For me...I take my time before become sure that the ONE woman is the person I want to spend more time with and just her. i am trying not to make the same mistake again. I have no fear of commitment, it is the fear of hisory repeating itself that gets me.
The woman I get to be with will have ALL of me. (God help her!)

I NEVER suffer from insanity...I love EVERY minute of it

[Crazy for Crazy]

you should have known better then to ask these psychos (myself included) such a question...unless you love to see our colorful responses

[NewYorkDragons80]

Because commitment is exactly that. It's a huge step that's painful and difficult to get yourself out of. I'm sure there are just as many women scared of commitment as men.

"In war there is no substitute for victory."
-General Douglas MacArthur

"If gold should rust, what will iron do?"
-Geoffrey Chaucer

[FMJeff]

wild orgies, one-night stands and short-term flings.


ears perk up...

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<br>
Stupid is as stupid does.</center>

[ChrisTheCop]

Maybe its cause over 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. 50%...50%...what else is 50%? Oh yeah! The amount of money a guy loses in a divorce! Listen, true love is rare, and only those who have found true love should get married. If you have to trick a man into "realizing" he should marry you, thats not true anything. Women are always looking for "commitment" which is code for marriage. If you have no problem hanging out with a guy, then do just that! Why must we always conform to what society says is "the next step"??? I'm committed to living my life and being happy doing it.

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/christhecop-shellebink.jpg">Sigpic by Shelle Bink

[Gmann]

I know females who are scared to commit to the guy that they are currently "seeing/dating". It works both ways. I know guys that wanna commit...me being one of em...because they like the women that they are with....and the women are the ones who want to have their freedom.

I think it's cool to hangout with someone who makes you laugh, who you feel you're compatible with and so on...if things don't workout then they don't workout...

I totally agree 100%

FEAR....FEAR attracts the fearful....the strong, the weak, the innocent, the corrupt.....FEAR....FEAR is my ally!!!

[fiestygal]

I guess guys will never get tired of those one night stands, flings, Cluster-F. fests.. i mean its fun and whatnot( i guess- no first hand knowledge).

there was an article/ survey done that they found that men arent afraid of COMMITMENT themselves BUT are afraid of HOW EXPENSIVE divorce is- guess since divorce rate is so high in our country i wouldnt blame anyone who was afraid... i think in the end everyone wants a substantial relationship BUT wants it to be with the RIGHT ONE and not make a mistake..........

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this pic is thanx to E2R..I'll get off my SOAP BOX now!...
I am a goofball & swell to boot

[Hawiian shirt craig]

who's scared....?

i think thats the whole point
of dating. i have posted this
before, but if i met the
woman i am gonna marry
tomorow and never date
another girl, thats A-OK with
me. but that doesn't mean i
impose that ideal on every
girl i meet or like. i wish i
knew who she is, btu i dont
so the search continues.
when i think i have found
her, i jump right on.

a lot of guys think theres
something great about
sleeping with everything
that moves, and what not... i
dont. i dont even like taking
girls home from bars, not
my style. the reality is that
i know that i am the
exception to the rule and
most guys are animals.

when i have just met a girl
that i like, i commit myself
as soon as i know that i am
into her, despite what shes
doing. you know? i dont
even look at other girls all of
a sudden. maybe i am
weird, i dunno.


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T
HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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San Diego Chargers: 1-0

[Coco]

I am a lady who is terrified of commitment. I have been asked to get married in the past, but never did.


I take marriage VERY seriously. Divorce has profound effects on you. Statistics say it is the #1 stresser for adults - even above the death of a spouse. It has profound effects on your children. Many, many children are affected by the parent's divorce all throughout their lives and have had deep emotional problems from never seeing one of their parents.

For a mother (or dad) to bring up children entirely on their own without a mate is extremely stressful on them.

It has a deep impact if you are a religious person and you were taught that divorce is wrong.

One shouldn't marry unless they are absolutely sure this is the one for them and that they know they could live the rest of their lives with.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

This message was edited by Coco on 9-14-02 @ 2:24 PM

[furie]

had to move out and threaten to never speak to her boyfriend in order for him to realize that they were meant to be married.


well Jesus! that says it all. threats? he has to realize they were meant to be married? Wow

But really, R&F said it all on that Joe Poo Valentine's Day show. guys are vunderable, and they know, when they open up finnaly, a woman will crush them. and they'll never recover from it.

So we don't open up.

does that help?

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[Katylina]

It's not only the boys who are scared.

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<a href="http://www.katylina.com" target=_new>Katylina's Web Page</a>

[Coco]

But really, R&F said it all on that Joe Poo Valentine's Day show. guys are
vunderable, and they know, when they open up finnaly, a woman will crush
them. and they'll never recover from it.


You can't imagine how many women I know who have been crushed by men in their lives.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

[Arienette]

i've found that it really, really depends on the guy. there are some that are absolutely not looking for a commitment, they're either scared of or uninterested in it. in my opinion, so long as they're upfront about that, no harm, no foul.

on the other hand, i've been involved with some guys who are as interested in a commited relationship as the others are uninterested.

you need to be wary of both types. the ones who can't commit generally have issues that are either stopping them from getting too close, or they can't trust people. the ones who are really looking to commit generally are lacking something else in their life that they are trying to make up for by getting close to you

i seem to be babbling. good guys (and good people, it's not just for guys, women tend to be morons often, too) are not esay to find...

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i've got the money if you've got the time
he said it feels good, i said i'll give it a try

[furie]

You can't imagine how many women I know who have been crushed by men in their lives.

i never said it was a male only problem. that's just the topic at hand.

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<marquee>Faith is believing what you know isn't true" Arthur C. Clarke
</marquee>

[Rons Third Hand]

R&F said it all on that Joe Poo Valentine's Day show. guys are vunderable, and they know, when they open up finnaly, a woman will crush them. and they'll never recover from it.



Like Coco said, divorce is just awful. I'm going thru one after 16 yrs of marriage. Anyone have an extra shirt, I seem to have lost mine.

Would I commit to someone again? Maybe, but she'd just have to be so much the right person.

This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
- -- William Shakespeare

[NurseMira]

I see and understand what you all are saying but I need to know more. What I mean is that I don't understand why is it that men like variety so much? I know it's cliche but it's usually the case. Why do men want all the ladies before they get married or whatever...If a vagina is a vagina than what's the difference if it comes from the same girl or a hundred.

<IMG SRC="http://www.carisi.com/miragif.gif">
thank you for the sig, mindtank

Let the sun shine...

[Hawiian shirt craig]

mira, let me lay this out for
you more clearly.

men are animals. we are
decended from apes. hell
most of us still are apes. in
an ape comunity there is
one breeding male, and
many females. that male
gets to put his furry lil junk
anywhere he damn well
pleases, and does not
comit to a woman ape, only
to the group. men still have
this instinct. same thing
with many other mamals.
the reason behind it is, that
dominant male earned his
possision by being
strongest. thus the race
does better by letting him
reproduce so his strong
genes pass on.

men want to pass their
genes on as much as
possible, thus having sex
with the most women as
possible. at least
instinctively, b/c no one
wants 37 kids.

on another level, men also
feel we are missing
something. that what if
feeling you get at night.
there are so many women
out there, how do i know
blah blah blah (which i
personally think is horse
shit.)

so the combo on instinct,
and childish, "what if a
better toy comes out
feeling" drive men to not
comit and be morons.

in addition, there is the
stigma we grew up with.
"the old ball and chain", "the
old lady" aren't exactly
appealing to us. a lot of
girls grew up dreaming of
the studly doctor they'd
marry. we grew up being
told that women will ruin
our lives, in a lot of cases. i
mean look at movies like
"shes having a baby" who
the fuck would get married
the day after they saw that
thing???

so genetics, childishness
and society have pushed
on us the idea we should
spread the lovin'.

that good mira?? IM me if u
need more... i could go for
days.


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T
HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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San Diego Chargers: 1-0

This message was edited by Hawiian shirt craig on 9-15-02 @ 11:46 AM

[NewYorkDragons80]

i seem to be babbling

No, you got it exactly right.

"In war there is no substitute for victory."
-General Douglas MacArthur

"If gold should rust, what will iron do?"
-Geoffrey Chaucer

[Dan]

If a vagina is a vagina
than what's the difference if it
comes from the same girl or a
hundred.

If you don't understand that, then
you will never be able to
understand why. Men are
hunters, women are gatherers.
It's innate. It can't be explained, it
just is.

I'm not saying that I'm on the
constant hunt for new vagina or
am afraid of committment, I'm just
saying if I do get married ever, I
will be going against my natural
instincts. Instead of coming
down on men for not being able
to committ, you should
congratulate human males for
even being able to THINK about
contradicting their natural
instincts.


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[HordeKing1]

To be more accurate though, most of early human's diet (over 90%) came from the female gatherers with only a relatively small contribution from the men.

Additionally, there were some cultures where women and women both hunted and gathered. These tended to be the most peaceful groups, with egalitarian practices that put our society to shame.

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[FMJeff]

If a vagina is a vagina than what's the difference if it comes from the same girl or a hundred.


tell me you're kidding...



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<br>
Stupid is as stupid does.</center>

[cozmokramer]

Im scared enough to even talk to a girl (besides the ladies of the board) let along actually keep a relationship. Myra - maybe guys are scared you are going to start up the Soviet Union and rule the world. J/k!

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POWER! POWER! DC POWER!</marquee>
Im going to kill myself OR DIE TRYING!

[CruelCircus]

What I mean is that I don't understand why is it that men like variety so much? I know it's cliche but it's usually the case. Why do men want all the ladies before they get married or whatever...If a vagina is a vagina than what's the difference if it comes from the same girl or a hundred.
First of all, who said a vagina is a vagina?! There is a world of difference between vaginas, and a vagina will tend to change. That is where the desire for variety comes from.
Second, it could be asked why are you so desirous of non-variety? The assumption built into your question is that wanting variety is somehow wrong. That assumption is not necessarily correct.



<br>Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and Jam!
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
- George Clinton
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[spoon]

so genetics, childishness
and society have pushed
on us the idea we should
spread the lovin'.
You are totally off on your take here. If society has pushed any agenda, it has been monogamy. Marriage is truly a man-made tradition/institution. Dan is right on the money, and I'm with Jeff on the variety thing.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">
Nothing...i have nothing!

[ToddEVF]

Im scared enough to even talk to a girl (besides the ladies of the board) let along actually keep a relationship.

same here. I freeze up a lot. I fear a commitment like marriage. Its like the feeling of being held down. Sure its good, but at this point of my life, i would not want that. Hell, half the time I freeze while IMing females.

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[Justice4all]

If a vagina is a vagina than what's the difference if it comes from the same girl or a hundred.

Well, speaking for myself, the same applies for men. There are women out there who are just in it to play and not looking for commitment either.
I do not mind it comming from ONE women, as long as you can DIVERSIFY it. In other words..if I am with a woman and many other things click but she is a simmple "missionary position with the lights off" type gal, chances are I will be a little bored sometime down the road. I am not saying that sex is the only basis for a relationship, but let's face it, it does matter. It is a way of expressing (to some degree or another) yourself and what kind of lover you are. ( At least I think so) So if I am getting it from that same girl, I need her to want to keep it spicy like I would for her (or try to anyway).
Ok...I think I put myself on the line enough here..I am punching out.

I NEVER suffer from insanity...I love EVERY minute of it

[Hawiian shirt craig]

You are totally off on
your take here. If society
has pushed any agenda, it
has been monogamy.


hey dip stick, watch a
movie... talk to your dad for
christ sake. how many
jokes have you heard about
how horrible it is to be
married, how it ruins your
life... how you'll never get
laid again, and forget BJs.
men RESENT marriage. in
general it is seen as a trap.
(which i also dont get).

in countless movies,
books, tv shows and christ
even on WNEW, all we hear
about is how when you get
married, you check ur balls
at the door and what not.

society smiles on marriage,
that is female society... try
going to school instead of
watching the view, and
oprah. OOLIE.


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T
HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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San Diego Chargers: 2-0

[Coco]

Statistics really don't support that men are miserable in marriages (believe it or not). They show that depression is commonplace in men that are divorced, but no so much in women who are divorced. I mentioned in another thread that almost every divorced woman I know says that "they will never do it again", and every man I have known that divorced seems to be wanting to get married quickly thereafter.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

This message was edited by Coco on 9-16-02 @ 4:47 PM

[Hawiian shirt craig]

i agree coco. men should
be happy in marriage, and
usually are. i am all for it.

the point i am trying to
make is that mass media
tends to stigmatize
marriage as a punishment.
i dont agree with it, i'm just
saying.


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T
HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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San Diego Chargers: 2-0

[Contra]

well to get back to MIRA's question...

we men like variety for many reasons. you take it like its all physical, when actually some of it is psychological. its about the thrill of the hunt, and the different looks of a women. the way they like to have sex (like rough, or roleplaying, etc.) generally you cant find that all in one woman. also, i dont know about other guys, but every vagina feels different in some way to me. so before i settle in with that one that i want to spend a lot of my life with (and that doesnt even mean marriage) i want to experience the other fine things about sex.

Kill the weak
Contra