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Forget the war on terror, I say we declare a war on SHARKS. [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard
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View Full Version : Forget the war on terror, I say we declare a war on SHARKS.

TheMojoPin
10-07-2002, 01:06 PM
Alright, so I was watching some old "Shark Week" repeats on The Discovery Channel. First of all, I learned certain sharks can actually swim in both saltwater AND freshwater, and have been found up rivers in Africa, Australia, and even the Mississippi. And these are sharks up to ten feet long! One even killed 3-4 people in Jersey early in the 20th century, helping inspire "Jaws". Two, I saw something called "Air Jaws 2", where they had footage of 15-20 foot great white sharks leaping completely out of the water and flipping in the air just trying to get some seal decoy being towed by a boat. These two facts lead me to believe several things. One: sharks can live in both saltwater and freshwater...what's next? That's right, OXYGEN. Two: massive behemoths of death can leap completely out of the water just over a seal? The natural conclusion is that SHARKS WILL SOON BE ABLE TO FLY. All they need to do then is evolve some thumbs and we'll be toast. Remember before 9/11 the big story was that sharks were biting and eating people up all over the place? That's just phase one...these eating machines live to wipe us off the planet, and it's time we fought back. Two behind the lack-of-ear for Sharky McEatalot! I'm fearing that it's too late and these sniper attacks here in DC are the result of a pissed-off Mako and Hammerhead dressed in hats and fake beards...

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/themojopin.jpg>
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."
-TMP
Alice S. Fuzzybutt
10-07-2002, 01:37 PM
Candygram

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Fear gives courage wings
TheGameHHH
10-07-2002, 01:53 PM
Man, sharks are NEVER gonna fly.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

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Thanks Fallon for the sig!
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Coach
10-07-2002, 01:55 PM
Yeah, there is a breeding ground for sharks in Jersey, It's called the shark river
It is just before Belmar and after Avon by the sea

"Don't You Know? A clown can get away with Murder?" John Wayne Gacey
GaryWyze
10-07-2002, 01:58 PM
<font color=purple>Did ya ever see the taliban take a man, Mr. Mojo? Take him whole. Eyes go white, lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes. And all that horrible high pitched screaming, smell of curry in the air.</font>
ChrisTheCop
10-07-2002, 03:47 PM
If we're gonna fight the Sharks, we're gonna have to get our dance moves down.

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/fluffernutter_sigpic.gif">a jerseyrich production of a fluffernutter sig
McNabbShouldDie
10-07-2002, 04:03 PM
i dont know man, sharks are pretty crazy. we're having trouble finding bin Laden and these sharks can swim and stay underwater. i think we should just stick to land creatures to blow up.

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/mcnabb.gif>
EQ
10-07-2002, 04:12 PM
If we're gonna fight the Sharks, we better get our dance moves down


'When you're a Jet...

You're a Jet, all the way..

From your first Cigarette

To your last Dying Day....'


What about Jet-Powered Sharks?

It's only a matter of time.


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ADF
10-07-2002, 04:57 PM
Candygram


Liar! You're one of those landsharks and you're trying to trick me so that I'll open the door and then you'll eat me! I'm no fool!

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Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Xmas!
A.J.
10-07-2002, 06:01 PM
We're gonna need a bigger boat.

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A Skidmark production.
Zipgun
10-07-2002, 06:02 PM
When I was 10 years old, I was in the ocean on a sand bar, and a 14 ft. Hammerhead went past my legs about 3 feet away.

The scariest part was, he had a hack license and was carrying a boxcutter.

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidtightywhiteysig.jpg>
TheMojoPin
10-07-2002, 06:14 PM
If we're gonna fight the Sharks, we're gonna have to get our dance moves down.

"Hey, I gotta dance for ya! It's called, 'While You Where Singing And Dancing, I Got Stabbed In The Head By A Dirty Puerto Rican'!"

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/themojopin.jpg>
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."
-TMP
ChrisTheCop
10-07-2002, 07:24 PM
Quinny, I knew youd get the reference. And Mojo! Norm mcdonald references always give me a big laugh, altho i think THAT was the cobras (hisss) and the panthers (meowwww). Thank u both.

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/fluffernutter_sigpic.gif">a jerseyrich production of a fluffernutter sig

This message was edited by ChrisTheCop on 10-7-02 @ 11:28 PM
FelixDasGato
10-08-2002, 07:36 AM
Didnt any of you see that episode of the Simpsons when all the dolphins revolted and took over the town?
Dolphins are supposed to be our friends.
It can only get worse with sharks!

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Thanks to SilentSpic for hosting.
Contra
10-08-2002, 09:54 AM
flying sharks!!??!!

fuck the boat, we're gunna need a bigger plane!

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/contra.gif>
Batosai The Manslayer
Michael Fury
10-08-2002, 10:02 AM
So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.


See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
TheMojoPin
10-08-2002, 10:38 AM
Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

Yeah, but they should have just set it off where the ship went down. Damn sharks got lucky that time...

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/themojopin.jpg>
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."
-TMP
Patches
10-08-2002, 01:10 PM
Farewell and Adieu fare ladies of Spain..

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Patches...Your Football Fantasy. (4-1, second place, tied).
Aggie on Patches: "The bestest bitch ever!"
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PamR&Ffan
10-09-2002, 08:27 PM
Never forget the USS Indianappolis (I think that was the name of the ship the men were on)...Recently, shouldn't we try to get the sharks on our side? Can we negotiate? They'd be awsome allies! <P>
Patches
10-10-2002, 12:49 PM
It's American Policy to never negotiate with sharks.


<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches2.jpg>
Patches...Your Football Fantasy. (4-1, second place, tied).
Aggie on Patches: "The bestest bitch ever!"
Sigpic hosted by a mute hispanic.
TheMojoPin
10-10-2002, 06:40 PM
I say we bribe the sharks to join us in our war on terror. It's hard to plant a dirty bomb when someone comes up and bites your face off.

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/themojopin.jpg>
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."
-TMP
Patches
10-11-2002, 11:49 AM
ok, but not the hammerheads. They look like the retards of the shark world.


<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches2.jpg>
Patches...Your Football Fantasy. (4-1, second place, tied).
Aggie on Patches: "The bestest bitch ever!"
Sigpic hosted by a mute hispanic.
TheMojoPin
10-11-2002, 12:39 PM
ok, but not the hammerheads. They look like the retards of the shark world.

"Alright, I'm gonna close my eyes, start biting and swim in a straight line...if you get eaten, well, then it's all YOUR fault."

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/themojopin.jpg>
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."
-TMP
Patches
10-11-2002, 12:49 PM
Damn, that sounds pretty funny. Wish I got the reference.

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches2.jpg>
Patches...Your Football Fantasy. (4-1, second place, tied).
Aggie on Patches: "The bestest bitch ever!"
Sigpic hosted by a mute hispanic.
A.J.
10-11-2002, 01:01 PM
Damn, that sounds pretty funny. Wish I got the reference.


It's a Simpsons reference.

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A Skidmark production.
SRFSTARVD
10-11-2002, 01:04 PM
We surfed cape Hatteras NC and there were tons of Black tips in the water...its a tad frightening but they dont mess with you...I still have all my limbs. Also the Delaware Bay is the largest breeding ground on the east coast for sharks...and I lived 5 miles from where it met the ocean.

IM me SRFSTARVD
Patches
10-11-2002, 01:07 PM
I think when we catch the sniper we should send him to the beach with his rifle... pay society back.


<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches2.jpg>
Patches...Your Football Fantasy. (4-1, second place, tied).
Aggie on Patches: "The bestest bitch ever!"
Sigpic hosted by a mute hispanic.
TheMojoPin
10-11-2002, 03:53 PM
Patches, you're not listening. The sniper obviously IS a shark.

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/themojopin.jpg>
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."
-TMP
Patches
10-14-2002, 05:30 AM
hmm, your theory intrigues me... In order for the sniper to be a shark, he would have to walk on land. And as we all learned earlier in the year, fish in Maryland possess the ability to walk on land.

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches.jpg>
Patches...Your Football Fantasy. (4-1, second place, tied).
Aggie on Patches: "The bestest bitch ever!"
Sigpic hosted by a mute hispanic.
Halfpops
10-15-2002, 10:33 AM
I think a robot whale may be able to stop the sharks, or maybe if we drop snakes in the ocean- that'd sure scare them out of the water....



Just Get It Done!