TheMojoPin
10-17-2002, 06:28 PM
[quote]1) Don't misspell any words in your band's name. Many bands opt to switch the letter 'I' for the letter 'y'. This is cool if you're into everyone with 1/8 to 1/6 a brain assuming that you are a crappy jock/rap/metal band. For instance, Limp Bizkit, Puddle of Mudd, and Korn are all these type of bands. Are any of them good? Check and mate.
2) Avoid using food products in your band's name. Chances are you'll misspell it anyways. Also, chances are you'll pick some crappy food over a tasty one.
3) Don't wear your band's own shirts. No exceptions or excuses accepted. Don't think the "but I'm on tour and we haven't been able to wash our clothes, it's the only thing clean I had to wear" story is gonna fly. wear the dirty shirt, you're a rocker my friend.
4) Don't play reggae unless you are in Bad Brains.
5) Cowboy hats are for cowboys only. That is why they are called cowboy hats. You aren't Madonna nor are you trend setting. And unless your main transportation is a horse just don't wear a cowboy hat, or you're a total poser cowboy.
6) This one here is a no brainer and it's mainly, but not solely, directed towards the ska bands. DO NOT insert the name of your genre, or something related to your genre into your band's name. You don't see any good bands attempt this. (except Metallica, but they have songs about satan so it's cool) The best solution to this problem is to not start a ska band in the first place, cos not only are ska bands just itching to break this rule and prove their dorkdom, but nobody's scoring gash with a ska band anyway.
7) Avoid using the words theory, project, or plan in the title of your band name.
8) Don't play funk. Don't even joke about playing funk.
9) Mc Hammer pants aren't cool anymore, don't wear them. Yeah, Fred, we're talking to you.
10) Visors on band members (or anyone for that matter) earn yourself a bitch slap. If you have your visor sideways, upside down, or both your penalty increases to additional groin area pummeling.
11) For shows, props are generally a bad idea. They usually stimulate the audience's what-the-hell sensors. If you do decide to use one, make sure it's small and you don't spend most of your time playing with it. Unless of course you are the Beastie Boys, it's 1986, you're opening for Madonna, and you have a giant two story penis on stage.
12) If your band has a cozy fan base of say, five, skip out on the huge rock star banner. It is key to grasp the idea that people don't operate on the if-they-have-a-banner-they-have-to-be-good mentality.
13) Never ever have all members wear the same shirt. This is a ridiculous concept and should not be explained.
14) If you're playing your hometown, don't say, "What's up (town)". This phrase is reserved for the out of town and/or touring bands. You might make them mad by stealing their pep speech.
15) If you're playing outside of your hometown, don't say, "What's up (town)". This phrase screams shoot me in the face.
16) Preaching is for church, shut up and rock.
17) Cordless guitars are only ok if your first name is Eddie, your last name is Van Halen, and you kick ass at playing a guitar with a power drill. If this is not the case, don't venture there.
18) Playing your guitar up by your neck makes you look like a geek. Period. If you need an example, take a cue from a few of the greats. look at Slash's guitar height, or maybe take a peek at where Duff let the bass rest, or possibly look at just how low Krist Noviselic rode his rock axe.
19) If you play bass make sure you have only 4 strings. If you play guitar make sure you only have 6 or less. If you play drums know that if your set looks like something Tommy Lee would play while hanging upside down, you are a jackass. You don't need 12 cymbals fruitcake.
20) Gold hardware and/or wood stained anything is a no-no. Ditto for neon anything.
21) White cordless mics were used by Vanilla Ice, don't travel the same road.
22) Unless you are an immortal rock god, spitting or throwing water into the crowd instantaneously eli
2) Avoid using food products in your band's name. Chances are you'll misspell it anyways. Also, chances are you'll pick some crappy food over a tasty one.
3) Don't wear your band's own shirts. No exceptions or excuses accepted. Don't think the "but I'm on tour and we haven't been able to wash our clothes, it's the only thing clean I had to wear" story is gonna fly. wear the dirty shirt, you're a rocker my friend.
4) Don't play reggae unless you are in Bad Brains.
5) Cowboy hats are for cowboys only. That is why they are called cowboy hats. You aren't Madonna nor are you trend setting. And unless your main transportation is a horse just don't wear a cowboy hat, or you're a total poser cowboy.
6) This one here is a no brainer and it's mainly, but not solely, directed towards the ska bands. DO NOT insert the name of your genre, or something related to your genre into your band's name. You don't see any good bands attempt this. (except Metallica, but they have songs about satan so it's cool) The best solution to this problem is to not start a ska band in the first place, cos not only are ska bands just itching to break this rule and prove their dorkdom, but nobody's scoring gash with a ska band anyway.
7) Avoid using the words theory, project, or plan in the title of your band name.
8) Don't play funk. Don't even joke about playing funk.
9) Mc Hammer pants aren't cool anymore, don't wear them. Yeah, Fred, we're talking to you.
10) Visors on band members (or anyone for that matter) earn yourself a bitch slap. If you have your visor sideways, upside down, or both your penalty increases to additional groin area pummeling.
11) For shows, props are generally a bad idea. They usually stimulate the audience's what-the-hell sensors. If you do decide to use one, make sure it's small and you don't spend most of your time playing with it. Unless of course you are the Beastie Boys, it's 1986, you're opening for Madonna, and you have a giant two story penis on stage.
12) If your band has a cozy fan base of say, five, skip out on the huge rock star banner. It is key to grasp the idea that people don't operate on the if-they-have-a-banner-they-have-to-be-good mentality.
13) Never ever have all members wear the same shirt. This is a ridiculous concept and should not be explained.
14) If you're playing your hometown, don't say, "What's up (town)". This phrase is reserved for the out of town and/or touring bands. You might make them mad by stealing their pep speech.
15) If you're playing outside of your hometown, don't say, "What's up (town)". This phrase screams shoot me in the face.
16) Preaching is for church, shut up and rock.
17) Cordless guitars are only ok if your first name is Eddie, your last name is Van Halen, and you kick ass at playing a guitar with a power drill. If this is not the case, don't venture there.
18) Playing your guitar up by your neck makes you look like a geek. Period. If you need an example, take a cue from a few of the greats. look at Slash's guitar height, or maybe take a peek at where Duff let the bass rest, or possibly look at just how low Krist Noviselic rode his rock axe.
19) If you play bass make sure you have only 4 strings. If you play guitar make sure you only have 6 or less. If you play drums know that if your set looks like something Tommy Lee would play while hanging upside down, you are a jackass. You don't need 12 cymbals fruitcake.
20) Gold hardware and/or wood stained anything is a no-no. Ditto for neon anything.
21) White cordless mics were used by Vanilla Ice, don't travel the same road.
22) Unless you are an immortal rock god, spitting or throwing water into the crowd instantaneously eli