Being Polite vs. Being Comfortable

[Gwen]

**Disclaimer: This is an akward situation, and I know that through explaining it I'm gonna come out sounding like an insensitive asshole, but I don't mean it that way.**

At my office my "cube" is right next to a man in a wheelchair. He was in some accident earlier in his life and is now confined to a wheelchair. I know this is a dificult situation, but thats all thats wrong with him, mentally he's sharp as a tack.

His workplace is disgusting crumbs EVERYWHERE I seriously think there are ants in my office from his mess. And his physical person smells like pee and sewage. Somedays its not as bad as others, but most days it leaves my nose STINGING like burning from how terrible it smells. Im not exaggerating and I have a stomach of steel, but I have even had dry heaves from it sometimes.

I want to bring in somethign like an airfreshner or somethign to clear the smell, but I have a feeling that might offend him. I know other people in the office notice it too, but they dotn have it as bad 'cause I work RIGHT next to him. I think this is like the "unspoken" situation of my office that everyone knows but no one talks about, seriously though its making work unbearable.

How do I remedy this while still beign polite, not offending anyone, but getting rid of the smell? Crumbs I can deal with, but smell is baddddddd.

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[Patches]

I say bring in your air freshener but only spray your work area (I'd reccomend Lysol, everything else will just mask the stink for a while without actually killing any airborne particles). 2 things can happen:

1. He gets the hint and washes himself.

2. He confronts you. In that case, you tell him that all you know is that your cube stinks, and you don't know nor care where it is coming from but you can not work in that environment. If he says the smell is coming from him and he still doesnt do anything then roll him through the car wash.

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[FollowThisLogic]

Go in early, with a can of air freshener. Spray heavily.

Then throughout the day, fake sneezes and coughs, throat clears, anything to make enough noise to cover the subsequent sprays.

Or stick a small air freshener on your desk.... it's YOUR desk, how offending could it be? Just say you dig the smell of the thing. Or for even less visibility, use one of those little plug-in air freshener things.... though I'm not sure how well it would do underneath a desk.

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[shorty]

You can take the easy way out and talk to your boss or HR. Let them know it's effecting your health.

Or you can just spray around his cube whenever he's not there. Either way don't let his wheelchair make you feel bad for him. His odor and the crumbs and his wheelchair have nothing to do with each other.

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This message was edited by shorty on 10-29-02 @ 12:20 PM

[silera]

Buy him one of those Bath and Body basket things full of soap and stuff for Christmas.



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[BrianTheBailBondsman]

Wheel that stinky bitch in the hallway jam s stick in the spokes and leave him there

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[DarkHippie]

bring in a airfreshener. If he notices anything, he'll get the hint. It'll do the whole office the favor

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[Knowledged_one]

Be like Patrick Bateman in american psycho when he meets the dirty bum. Kindly say "my god man you smell like shit, cant you take care of yourself". At which point he will definetly get the picture...or maybe he has run out of adult diapers and is wearing piss soaked pants instead either way easy solution

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[DC Reed]

sometimes the truth is the best way to go. if your not comforable while working, your going to be less productive, so confronting this problem may be helpful.

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[McNabbShouldDie]

Just bring in a can of air freshener and say that you love the smell of the air freshener so much that you want it to be in your work area. <P>
Also, dont be afraid to talk to your co-workers about it. If you think they feel the same way then you will be a hero for bringing up the conversation about the smelly guy. <P>




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[ADF]

Wear one of those vanilla-scented, tree-shaped air fresheners around your neck and start bragging about your new piece of "bling-bling."

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[Gwen]

Wear one of those vanilla-scented, tree-shaped air fresheners around your neck and start bragging about your new piece of "bling-bling."


I think thats the best idea yet, but I'm more of a "new car scent" kind of gal....

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[Hawiian shirt craig]

walk in one day when no
one else is around and say,
hey i'm cleaning my office,
want me to get yours? and
clean it! no way around it.


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[HordeKing1]

GWEN - No need for a disclaimer. It is indeed an awkward situation and one that you raised here with tact. You don't seem insensitive at all. On the contrary you're demonstrating sensitivity towards this guy.

Here are a few things to consider.

1. If the guy was not in a wheelchair, would you feel more comfortable about approaching him? If so, then approach him now. The disabled do not want to be treated differently than the able bodied b/c of their disability.

2. There seem to be two separate issues here. The first is the crumbs which is so bad that it's brought insects into your work area. The second is his bodily odor which you describe as smelling like "pee and sewage." It's so bad that it makes your nose sting and gives you dry heaves.

3. Regarding the first problem, two different possibilities occur to me. He may be a slob by nature and does not keep any area clean. Alternatively, he may want to be clean but his disability prevents him from doing so. He may not be able to bend down to pick up crumbs for example. In either event it would seem to be a matter for the cleaning staff. They should be vacumming and cleaning the offices after everyone goes home anyway. Perhaps they can be told to pay extra attention to his office as it seems to require extra effort. Perhaps you can tell your boss about the insect problem and they can get an exterminator. It's a non confrontational way to deal with this real problem.

4. The other issue is more complex. Although it's possible that he just has poor hygeine, it's possible that his disability accounts for the odors you smell. Some disabled have to wear colostomy bags. Some must wear diapers. It's uncomfortable and embarassing to them, particularly when their minds are sharp. Perhaps you can find out more details about this from coworkers (there's always one yenta who knows everyones business). If it turns out that his disability requires him to use these devices, there is really no way to approach it, b/c it will just make him feel bad. The options then are to either ignore it, mask it with spray and deoderizers, or ask your boss to move your office.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with bringing in air freshener, or a plug in. It should not offend him, unless you deliberately say something along the lines of "Whew you stink, I better spray." Now we know you won't do that, so you're safe.

I had a roomate for one of my longer hospital stays who constantly defecated in bed. The smell was overwhelming. I had a variety of air fresheners by my bed and when he went, the cans came out. It wasn't offensive to him. He knew it stunk too. I think he was glad that I didn't make a big fuss about it, just addressed the immediate problem of the odor.

Since your entire office knows the situation, it is not unreasonable to ask your boss to move you.

Please let me know how it turns out.

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[Tall_James]

http://www.sinceresuggestions.com/index.html
This might be an option for you....

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This message was edited by Tall_James on 10-28-02 @ 9:40 PM

[ChrisTheCop]

When I was a rookie and didnt have a say as to who i worked with, I very often got paired up with the old timer who smelled terribly. I was a rookie and definately couldnt offend officer stinky. My remedy? At the beginning of the tour, i soaked my hand in cologne. Whenever i caught a wiff of my partner, I'd take a hit off my hand to compensate. Of course, u could also just ask to me moved to another cubicle.

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[TheMojoPin]

I worked with a guy in a delivery stockroom who reeked, like he hated bathing. I stole his mix tape one day, taped over it with nothing but Jim Norton's line from "Spider-Man" on a loop, and tossed it back in the tape box. Two days later, he came in fresh as a daisy.

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[CovDiesel]

I experienced this when I went away to college... my room mate would go and play basketball and then not shower. <P>
This wouldn't be so bad if it was every so often.... however, it was every day and our room began to smell worse than any smell I have ever had the misfortune of being around. <P>
What did I do? <P>
I tried all the air freshners... they didn't work.. <P>
I cleaned the room.. it didn't work. <P>
I threw out his shoes...it didn't work. <P>
Finally, I had to bite the bullet and just move off campus. His stench made me move. <P>
So I suggest... quit and move to Jersey. <P>

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[angrymissy]

there's always one yenta who knows everyones business


so true. so very very true.

This is going to sound mean, but I've noticed that a lot of really overweight people smell like pee.

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[Gwen]

The other issue is more complex. Although it's possible that he just has poor hygeine, it's possible that his disability accounts for the odors you smell. Some disabled have to wear colostomy bags. Some must wear diapers.


Well this was my biggest fear and my biggest concern for wanting to be "sensitive" about the issue. However after a few particularly pungent days last week I cracked and brought in a plug in airfreshner, it was a lil overpowering at first, but everyone loves the smell and wants to know where I got it (even the guy I was complaining about wants one!)

Also my boss sent out a memo that this friday we all have to clean up our work spaces (wipe them down etc) he even bought us all those cool cans of compressed air so I'll be sittin' pretty real soon.

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions though, you guys are super smarties! =)

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This message was edited by Gwen on 10-29-02 @ 9:20 AM

[LilLibra]

There's a perfect remedy to this situation but its easier said than done. You can be both polite and comfortable. Bring that air freshener. Since other people notice the problem too, leave an anonymous memo or something on his desk politely explaining the situation and ask him to take better care of his hygiene and work area. If that doesn't work, talk to somebody in higher power who is willing to talk to him. <P>
We have a similar problem with the only guy in our office who insists on printing and making copies of porno... and its straight and gay porn... just makes us uncomfortable so we're taking action without making it seem like we are. You get me? <P>

If this does not contain any swear words in it, your lucky ass caught me on a good day...

[Violent Jay]

the dude smells spray the shit out of him even if you have to do it before he gets there.


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