What is the strangest thing you have ever been told during sex? [Archive]

Patches

10-30-2002, 12:06 PM

Mine is:
"You have a pretty big dick for a white guy."
I was like "uhhh, thanks, I think."

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Patches...Your Football Fantasy...6-2, most points scored.
"The way I hear it, Patches is some kind of butcher. A pitiless, psycho, fucked-up butcher."

irocfem22

10-30-2002, 12:11 PM

patches if you wanted to spread the news about your big D you could have just told us...

ROCK AND ROLL!!!!
EMAIL ME OR IM ME!!!

Jennitalia

10-30-2002, 12:11 PM

i have a couple...

"will you touch it with your mouth"

"use my tool"

needless to say, those "relationships" didn't last long at all

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Earth2RON

10-30-2002, 12:12 PM

What is the strangest thing you have ever been told during sex?
Well i dont recall being told anything strange, but i do remember spitting in a girls mouf....that shyt was hot as fukk!

<img src="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/earth2ron.jpg">

Michael Fury

10-30-2002, 12:13 PM

"Does my husband in the next room bother you?"

ELECT JOE QUIMBY FOR STATE SENATOR: Your best friend in government.

Patches

10-30-2002, 12:18 PM

patches if you wanted to spread the news about your big D you could have just told us...

Thanks, but she was a nun, so a crayon would have seemed big to her.

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Patches...Your Football Fantasy...6-2, most points scored.
"The way I hear it, Patches is some kind of butcher. A pitiless, psycho, fucked-up butcher."

CreepyGyrl

10-30-2002, 12:24 PM

Um...I was told that he cheated on me. Yes he said this during sex!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
creepy

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BrianTheBailBondsman

10-30-2002, 12:27 PM

Im Banging this pure white bread chick on my couch , One of those no time to even get the clothes all the way off her pants aroung ankles still.. and as we are rockin the house she starts rambling some shit in spanish where the hell did that come from I was freeked out! I though she was speaking in tounges.

"Getting my 15 minutes of fame a few seconds at a time"

TheGameHHH

10-30-2002, 12:30 PM

The strangest thing I ever heard was...."Is it in yet?" Unfortunatly it was.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

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Aggie rules!!!
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Ants In My Pants

10-30-2002, 12:55 PM

"Stop, I have to pee"

"Fuck me like a whore"

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/AIMP/rfants.jpg
<marquee>I'm a little penis, short and stout</marquee>

R.I.P. Black Irish, you will be in our hearts forever.

Miss Dolores Haze

10-30-2002, 12:57 PM

Ants were you fucking my ex?

You see, she had absolutely nowhere to go.

Yerdaddy

10-30-2002, 01:00 PM

"So, what are you in for?"

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/sigruby.jpg" >
It was a joke goddammit!

furie

10-30-2002, 01:01 PM

"You're almost as big as my dad."

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/ghost.jpg" width=300 height=100>
<marquee behavior="alternate"><a href="aim:goim?screenname=furie1335&message=You_are_Number_6">IM:Furie1335
</a></marquee>
<marquee>Intermittently, at frequent intervals</marquee>

This message was edited by furie on 10-30-02 @ 5:41 PM

Ants In My Pants

10-30-2002, 01:07 PM

"So, what are you in for?"
I've been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes. Too fucking funny.

And NO, "I've been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes. Too fucking funny." is NOT something I've been told during sex!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/AIMP/rfants.jpg
<marquee>I'm a little penis, short and stout</marquee>

R.I.P. Black Irish, you will be in our hearts forever.

This message was edited by Ants In My Pants on 10-30-02 @ 5:19 PM

undressa

10-31-2002, 09:33 AM

she was a nun

so what is a nun doing fucking anyone, and expecially so many people that she can compare based on ethnicity

Jennitalia

10-31-2002, 09:49 AM

this wasnt said during sex, but a guy who supposively love(d) me could only express his feelings about me by saying he liked to be with me.

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irishkb

10-31-2002, 09:55 AM

"just don't stick it in my ass cause that shit hurts" i almost lost it right there.. just too funny...

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"IM"-mick0306

DarkHippie

10-31-2002, 09:55 AM

this wasnt said during sex, but a guy who supposively love(d) me could only express his feelings about me by saying he liked to be with me.
Ouch, that's harsh. Did he tussle your hair after that?

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Jennitalia

10-31-2002, 09:58 AM

"just don't stick it in my ass cause that shit hurts" i almost lost it right there.. just too funny...

that is fucking funny

and no, hippie, he didnt toussle my hair, but he let me suck his dick

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SRFSTARVD

10-31-2002, 10:22 AM

but he let me suck his dick

He "let" you? Like any guy would say no.

Funniest thing....hmmm...well it isnt really funny but I was with one girl in my buddies living room and she said she felt wierd about doing it there...so she suggested going on his porch and fucking there. So inside where no one could see us made her feel wierd but outside in the rain where everyone could see us didnt make her feelt wierd

IM me SRFSTARVD
Pronounced Surf Starved
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thanks Aggie and silentspic and irishkb

Ants In My Pants

10-31-2002, 11:22 AM

So inside where no one could see us made her feel wierd but outside in the rain where everyone could see us didnt make her feelt wierd Maybe being out in the rain was the only way you could get her wet. 
Oh! Thank you, I'll be here all week, try the veal. 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/AIMP/rfants.jpg
<marquee>I'm a little penis, short and stout</marquee>

R.I.P. Black Irish, you will be in our hearts forever.

Patches

10-31-2002, 12:07 PM

so what is a nun doing fucking anyone, and expecially so many people that she can compare based on ethnicity

Ok, dude.. that part was joke. I have never had sex with a nun. I swear.

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www.silentspic.com
Patches...Your Football Fantasy...6-2, most points scored.
"The way I hear it, Patches is some kind of butcher. A pitiless, psycho, fucked-up butcher."

SRFSTARVD

10-31-2002, 12:19 PM

Maybe being out in the rain was the only way you could get her wet.

ba dum dum!

IM me SRFSTARVD
Pronounced Surf Starved
http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/surf2sig.jpg
thanks Aggie and silentspic and irishkb

Contra

10-31-2002, 02:37 PM

i was dating this girl for like 6 months. this is the convo during sex one nite. we were VERY wasted and she was sucking me off...

her: if you come in my mouth i'll throw up.

me: aww c'mon baby, i like it

her: ok but we have to go to the bathroom

she wanted to be near the toilet in case she really did throw up, which she didn't. I laugh every time i think about that nite...

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/contra3.gif>
R.I.P. Jam Master J

newport king

10-31-2002, 03:46 PM

"wow you're better than i thought you'd be" that was a kind of a back handed compliment....and another one was "oh yes harder....oww" (the radio on my headboard fell on her head...but if that wasnt funny enouhg i just kept going like nothing happened) i know it wasnt something that was said but thought i'd share.

another newport king joint

The Jays

10-31-2002, 03:59 PM

... one chick asked me

"Will you come on my back?"

another chick took a phone call during sex, and had a whole conversation, occasionally, she would moan... when asked what she was doin, she said " I'm having sex right now.....

 F--- what you heard.
 That cab has a dent in it. [center]
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ChickenHawk

10-31-2002, 04:22 PM

Nice head, dick.

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"And I think a guy's dropping mud on 12, so don't look up." -Ron

Steels

10-31-2002, 04:28 PM

Take it easy Clarky

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/steels2.gif>

Deathstroke

10-31-2002, 04:28 PM

ive been hinted by two chicks that my shlong is quite large.....buuuut it just doesnt seem that way

<img src="http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/foreskin/desalvo.jpg" height=100 width=300>

ron pennington

10-31-2002, 04:46 PM

in missionary pos. this p.r. chic told me i was making her cum like the nile, and actually stopped me to see how wet her sheets were.

come get your $2

Jobberific

11-01-2002, 12:44 AM

Ok, I was getting a blowjob from this chick and this was the first time we had ever been together in anyway, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Well she's goin down and she starts makin with the dirty talk. "Oh I love sucking your cock." "Fuck my face." All the classics. So I figure thats then green light, but I decide to start off kinda easy. So I say "Yeah baby, suck that cock." (Wow thats sounds retarded typeing it, but it seemed to fit att he time.) All of the sudden, she stops and stands up and yells "How could you say that to me??!!" And storms out! What the fuck?

"DANCE MONKEYS!!!! DANCE FOR OUR PLEASURE!!!"

Brick Jesus

11-01-2002, 05:21 AM

I know it's an old one, but it really got me going at the time... my ex said to me "I've been a bad girl and I need to be punished"... always a classic.

Disclaimer: The comments of Brick Jesus do not represent the feelings or opinions of any normal individual.

AIM: Brick Jesus

Mail: Reactor711@juno.com

ShelleBink

11-01-2002, 05:31 AM

i can't remember how old i was... i think 16 or so, and i was with this guy who was a bit older than me ..

and in the middle of the action he says "you know what would be really awesome? if u stuck ur finger up my ass"

...yeah.

...why are you all looking at me like that?

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EffMeBoobs

11-01-2002, 10:46 AM

Not that it's strange or anything but the things I like saying:

"I'm your lil' bad girl and I need to be spanked."

"Yeah I'm your fucking bitch, oh yeah that's it...harder."

All this talk is making me hot and bothered.

<img src="http://sweet201.net/LisBerrySig.gif"> 
Thanks to sweet201 for the "berry" sweet sig!

SixPack

11-01-2002, 11:41 AM

Nothing, she doesn't usually talk in her sleep.

The artist formerly known as Ferret (at least over here)

This message was edited by SixPack on 11-1-02 @ 3:50 PM

CovDiesel

11-01-2002, 11:50 AM

Not that it's strange or anything but the things I like saying:

"I'm your lil' bad girl and I need to be spanked."

"Yeah I'm your fucking bitch, oh yeah that's it...harder."

All this talk is making me hot and bothered.

All this and still manages to have a Strawberry Shortcake sig pic... I'm soo fuckin hot right now.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/covpigs.jpg">

jamesdiggy

11-01-2002, 05:55 PM

"Will that be cash or charge?"

The Snozberries taste like Snozberries.

LatinSpiceXoX

11-01-2002, 06:06 PM

- 'Are you sure you're a Virgin?'

- 'I appreciate your honesty... No one's ever confronted me about only lasting 2 minutes!'

'..Keep your EYES on my BaBoomp BaBoomp Boomp!..'
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NurseMira

11-01-2002, 07:11 PM

Your "client's" American Express Card has been declined...

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thank you for the sig, mindtank

Never forget what they did to you but never let them know that you remember

IrishAlkey

11-01-2002, 07:35 PM

"What is this? Velvet?"

<marquee>I'M KIDDING!</marquee>

silera

11-01-2002, 07:39 PM

"What is this? Velvet?"

I didn't say that.

I thought we were both virgins!!!

<center>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/Silera/sig2.gif

I can't stand myself either.</center>

AngelAmy

11-01-2002, 07:47 PM

this wasnt during sex but while i was making out with someone he stopped to tell me i had a small mouth, ive been paranoid about my mouth size since then

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IrishAlkey

11-01-2002, 08:02 PM

this wasnt during sex but while i was making out with someone he stopped to tell me i had a small mouth, ive been paranoid about my mouth size since then

As long as my dick fits...

I thought we were both virgins!!!

Sure, Mary.

<marquee>I'M KIDDING!</marquee>

erole

11-01-2002, 08:07 PM

it would have to be
"Ohhh yes, ohhh, oh, oh my god, is that an ice pick? What are you doing? Oh please don..."
Ha ha ha, that's so funny. I mean, what else was the ice pick for. Ha ha, 'what are you doing?' ha ha, too much.

silera

11-01-2002, 08:19 PM

Sure, Mary.

I'm no Mary, at least God came back for seconds with me.

...

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I can't stand myself either.</center>

BrianTheBailBondsman

11-02-2002, 09:02 AM

I picked up this chich while i was bouncing at the Osprey hotel in Manasquan.. take her out the back door to the house i was renting for the summer get her in bed me and my buddy are underessing her and playing with her goods and i say " what was your name again?" just as she getting ready to swollow some pipe.. she looks me in the Eye and this look comes accross her face like omg what the fuck am i doing here and storms out as she's getting dressed

"Getting my 15 minutes of fame a few seconds at a time"

Tenbatsuzen

11-03-2002, 12:04 PM

She called me Brad.

<img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/tilliesig.jpg">

Zipgun

11-03-2002, 12:53 PM

"The Monster's out of the cage".

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Alice S. Fuzzybutt

11-03-2002, 01:37 PM

"Yeah, that's a clot."

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I'm a big wheel down at the cracker factory.

Vanessa210

11-03-2002, 08:07 PM

The strangest thing ever said to me was...
"my dick feels so comfortable in your pussy."
It was funny as hell.

-Celebrate we will cause life is short but sweet for certain-
Dave Matthews Band

TheGameHHH

11-03-2002, 08:31 PM

She called me Brad.
She called you Brad?

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

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Aggie rules!!!
Co-Founder of the OddJob Fan Club

The Jays

11-03-2002, 08:43 PM

"I don't kiss on the first date"....

 F--- what you heard.
 That cab has a dent in it. [center]
[center]http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/jays777/house.gif

Rev

11-08-2002, 10:32 AM

My mother once called from upstairs, and told me to keep the noise down. :P

xoxoxo,
Rev

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HordeKing1

11-08-2002, 07:29 PM

Wouldn't it be ironic, if the strangest thing the originator of this thread heard was

"Patches, I'm depending on you son."

<img src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking1">

grlNIN

11-09-2002, 06:47 PM

"Keep it down, my Mom and Dad are sleeping"

like i wanna think about your mom and dad while im trying to fuck you

and i got so weirded out i started laughing hysterically

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Death Metal Moe

11-10-2002, 02:59 PM

"You F like a champ"

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DEATH FACTION 4EVER!!!!

Katylina

11-10-2002, 03:03 PM

And NO, "I've been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes. Too fucking funny." is NOT something I've been told during sex!

OMG OMG OMG ROTFLMMFAO you rock...

"Do you want to watch some Sponge Bob?"

<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton</marquee>
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Tenbatsuzen

11-10-2002, 03:34 PM

She called you Brad?

She called me Brad.

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/tenbats5.gif">

JerseyRich

11-10-2002, 04:08 PM

What are you doing?

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/SAVEsig.gif>
I'd like an order of UH UH!With a side of some UH UH!

Patches

11-11-2002, 06:17 AM

Wouldn't it be ironic, if the strangest thing the originator of this thread heard was

"Patches, I'm depending on you son."

naah...my mom is usually pretty tame during sex.

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches3.jpg>
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The Batches...Shady's back, back again. (7-3, most points overall)
"The way I hear it, Patches is some kind of butcher. A pitiless, psycho, fucked-up butcher."

IRISjr

11-11-2002, 06:22 AM

wake up this is a dream :(

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LilLibra

11-11-2002, 06:23 AM

Hearing the guy say,

I'm in a class all by myself... and its f*ckin' lonely."

BeeGirl

11-11-2002, 09:51 AM

I was in my sophomore year in college, dating the quarterback for the football team. (Big deal right). We were getting very intimate and after about an hour of foreplay, or so I thought, I inquired gently about whether we were going to actually have sex. Unfortunately, it was in, he was done, and I was completely miserable. What a waste of a man and a penis.

johnbravo

11-14-2002, 04:32 AM

was i sleeping.......what was in that drink and why am i walking with my legs spread now

why just have a cup of dirt
how about a dirtshake or a dirt pizza topped with extra dirt or you can come over and we can hop in the sack and take a dirtnap

JustJon

11-15-2002, 10:15 AM

"You're much bigger than xxxx"

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon6.jpg">

Jennitalia

11-15-2002, 10:24 AM

"You're much bigger than xxxx"

now i KNOW i didn't say that!

after seeing that infamous picture, i did say you were bigger than froy, but, then again, i think my cat is hung more than he is

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

Ants In My Pants

11-15-2002, 10:31 AM

"You're much bigger than xxxx"
Now what kind of girl would have sex with a guy named xxxx? That's just weird.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/AIMP/rfants.jpg
<marquee>I'm a little penis, short and stout</marquee>

R.I.P. Black Irish, you will be in our hearts forever.

TheGameHHH

11-15-2002, 03:50 PM

Now what kind of girl would have sex with a guy named xxxx? That's just weird.
Come on man, cut xxxx a break. It's bad enough he's got a small penis, you gotta make fun of his name too.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/hhhsig.jpg">
Aggie rules!!!