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Is it possible to be friends? [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard
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musicbabe
11-09-2002, 01:59 PM
Today I was dumped by a man whom I am in love with who tells me that he also loves me. The grounds for the breakup is that we never became friends before dating and our relationship was mostly sex with a little bit of friendship. Neither of us knows each other that well or as well as we would like. We both agree that we should have been friends first so that we really got to know each other before we made love and started a relationship. So he wants to stop being in the loving relationship and concentrate on being friends and build the friendship and if it may progress that it will when we get to that point. My question to you is do you think that it is possible to only be friends with someone that you know that you are in love with and that you know is very compatable with you in the love aspect? And if it is possible how do I surpress the obvious physical attraction and emotional feelings that I have for him to only be his friend? And how do I spend a holiday with his family whom I love to death and they love me when I am only friends with him? Please help.
BrianTheBailBondsman
11-09-2002, 03:30 PM
how long have you been with him?

"Getting my 15 minutes of fame a few seconds at a time"
walking joint
11-09-2002, 03:37 PM
Today I was dumped by a man whom I am in love with who tells me that he also loves me. The grounds for the breakup is that we never became friends before dating and our relationship was mostly sex with a little bit of friendship. Neither of us knows each other that well or as well as we would like. We both agree that we should have been friends first so that we really got to know each other before we made love and started a relationship

this was a guy saying this to you???
BrianTheBailBondsman
11-09-2002, 03:54 PM
Hey lets prove him wrong: you and me do the "Hibbity Dibbity" and be friends

"Getting my 15 minutes of fame a few seconds at a time"
sakura
11-09-2002, 05:23 PM
NO, it is impossible to be just friends with someone you like. It will eventually end up in a bad situation<P> <P> <P> <P>

Worship me as the queen that I am!
Katylina
11-09-2002, 05:41 PM
Aren't there, like, four threads dedicated to your break up? That shit is hot. Are you going to stalk him?
You should call him every hour on the hour and tell him how much you love cheese.

<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton</marquee>
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This message was edited by Katylina on 11-9-02 @ 9:44 PM
AngelAmy
11-10-2002, 02:50 PM
i dont think its possible to be just friends with someone who you still are in love with, but they dont feel the same thing. no matter how much you want it to work out fine, it just wont. it will hurt way too much and things wil be weird.

<center>"The powers have overtaken her pelvis as well" - Jedi Master Doogie
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Katylina
11-10-2002, 02:53 PM
Don't listen to Amy-- she's just a dirty gal.

<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton</marquee>
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Death Metal Moe
11-10-2002, 02:56 PM
OF COURSE Men and Women can just be friends.

It just gets to the point when a man has to sit down and think if he needs to many more "friends." Friends don't FUCK, and a man needs that.

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GodsFavoriteMan
11-10-2002, 03:01 PM
I'd have to go no. Friendly terms, yes? But buddies, aww hell no. And I mean after a breakup, not in general.

<IMG SRC="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/godsfavoriteman/images/stan%20copy.jpg">

The third sign of the Apocalypse
AngelAmy
11-10-2002, 05:55 PM
i think the only way you can, and if you can, become friends with someone after a break up is to take a break from them for a while. dont see them, dont talk to them. give yourself time to realize the fact that nothing is going to happen between you and this person. as long as you have feelings, the more and more you just wont be able to just be friends.

<center>"The powers have overtaken her pelvis as well" - Jedi Master Doogie
C*U*N*T
http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/angelamysig.gif
</center><marquee>FOUNDING MEMBER OF RF.NET JEDI COUNCIL/FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE DC REED IS SENDING US TO JAIL CLUB/SECRETARY OF BANG/RF.NET UNION LEADER/PRESIDENT OF THE IRISH DIET SODA BREAD FAN CLUB/HEAD OF THE FEZ HAT CULT/FOUNDER OF THE PANTERA FAN CLUB/PASTY WHITE SKIN POWER/MIKEY D's #1 FAN GE GE GE/1/3 OF WHAA/CO-STAR OF TOOKIE TOUR 2002</marquee>
shorty
11-10-2002, 07:06 PM
Neither of us knows each other that well or as well as we would like.


How can you be in love with someone who you aren't even friends with? I can see how you have lust for them or are infatuated with them, but you can't be in love without having friendship as a foundation.

http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/shorty.jpg
ToddEVF
11-10-2002, 07:18 PM
NO, it is impossible to be just friends with someone you like. It will eventually end up in a bad situation


Sakura said it like i would have. And i know from expreience.

But don't take my word for it. . . doo doo doot


<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/toddmoe.gif>
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musicbabe
11-12-2002, 06:53 AM
UPDATE <P>
The ex and I are going to be friends. After much thinking on my part I do realize that I probably wasn't as much in love with him as I thought I was or wanted to be. I think that we have the makings of being good friends and I want nothing more then to have him as a friend because he knows some of the things that I am going through. Amy I understand what you are saying and to a point I am doing that but I can't go from talking to him every day to not talking to him at all it doesn't work that way especially if we are trying to be friends. I'm not however going to see him till this weekend when we still have plans to hang out. Anyway I thank all of you for your insight but I am going to try to make this work besides I can always use more friends and he would be a great one to have. <P>
Jennitalia
11-12-2002, 07:08 AM
Sounds real healthy...

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">
kc7586
11-17-2002, 12:36 PM
It is possible to be friends, but it's really hard. I know, I'm going through it right now. It gets really wierd sometimes. <P>
LilLibra
11-23-2002, 06:58 AM
Tough topic. Its not easy to just be friends with someone that you are physically attracted to, especially after you've been intimate in the past. Maybe you need a grace period before starting this friendship so you can concentrate on maintaining restraint.


"I'm in a class all by myself... and its f*ckin' lonely."

This message was edited by LilLibra on 11-23-02 @ 11:01 AM
Shaun
12-18-2002, 05:42 PM
Not to sound negative, but probably not.
You may be ok with things for a short time but eventually your feelings will start to come back.
I was just in a similiar situation and thought things would be ok, but I was wrong.
My 2 cents...

~Shaun~