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angrymissy
11-12-2002, 01:04 PM
My sister just called me and psychotically bitched me out, screaming and yelling at me over the phone at work. Why?

This morning I needed to stop and get cigarettes on my way to work. I stopped at the deli down the street from my house, because I was just running in, I parked facing the wrong way. All the other parked cars were facing forwards, I was facing backwards. Big whoop right? I saw my dad in the deli, who commented on the fact that I was parked the wrong way.

(quick background. I don't have a license. I was using my sisters in case I got pulled over until I got a speeding ticket recently (I paid her the money for it), I gave it back to her last night before this all happened.)

My dad told my sister that I was parked like that, and she proceeded to bitch me out over the phone hysterically, telling me I've ruined her license and her credit. That I'm the cause of ALL of her problems. Because I was parked the wrong way, and she thought I would get pulled over and give them her name. I don't even have her license anymore.

Now anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a genuinely nice person who will do anything for anyone, especially my family. I got her a FUCKING job, I helped her find an apartment with my father, I let her live in my apartment without paying any utilities and minimal rent, I let her drive my car, I give her money when she needs it, I buy her clothes, I take her out to dinner. It really pisses me off that she calls me up and tells me that ALL of her problems are because of me.

She said I ruined her credit because I got a cell phone in her name like 5 years ago, and forgot to pay the bill. I paid it up as soon as I realized it had gone to a collection agency. It's paid. That's it. That's considered ruining her credit (and I ran her credit report, and it was only reported to 1 agency and its marked as Paid In Full.

Sometimes my family is such a pain in the ass. I'm sick of having to fucking mother everyone (my mother died when I was 16, my sister is 21 I have a little brother who's 14, my father is a gambler and can't do anything like an adult, and I also take care of my cousin who lives with me) and then take all of this shit. I wish I could just be mean and move away from all of em.


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Hawiian shirt craig
11-12-2002, 01:20 PM
little missy took an ax and
gave her sister 40 whacks,
when she saw what she
had done, she gave her
father 41....


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T
HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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ChrisTheCop
11-12-2002, 01:26 PM
my advice. take your sisters license for one more ride...to the dmv and get your own, or get yours fixed. Independence is a wonderful thing.

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McNabbShouldDie
11-12-2002, 01:29 PM
Wait wait wait, you can get a ticket for parking backwards when all the other cars park forwards?


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GaryWyze
11-12-2002, 01:45 PM
<font color=purple>See, all this could've been avoided if you weren't a smoker.

Your sister definitely over-reacted, and I can't imagine why your dad would even tell her how you parked to begin with, but why not use this as the perfect excuse to go out and get your own license?

Your family is your family, you can't change who and what they are... but you can involve yourself with them as little as possible, thus decreasing the chances of having to deal with all this drama.

Does your sister know that you ran her credit and it came back good? Or that it becomes a moot point in just another 2 years?</font>

angrymissy
11-12-2002, 02:11 PM
my license will be fixed in about a month (long story - cost me a LOT of money).

it just aggarvates me the way she acts. This isn't the first time, and she said some really nasty things to me, which is fucked up becuase I do everything in my power to HELP her out whenever I can

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fiestygal
11-12-2002, 02:14 PM
DUDE! youre sister's a spazz

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Katylina
11-12-2002, 02:17 PM
Tell your parents that she's pregnant and hiding it from them. It should prove entertaining for at least a little bit.

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ag
11-12-2002, 02:31 PM
Missy, just to hear the fact that all you do is give give give to your sister and she does this to you, means alot. Its nice and all for you to do this but when something like thins comes along, and it doesnt seem like the first time it has happened, Id do something about it. Cut your sister off slowly but surely. Oveosly she doesnt know one thing about being responsible, if shes getting rent money, clothes ect off of you, and for all that she turns around and says this shit it you? Honestly it makes me mad just reading this. You really need to tell her to grow up and stop lurching off of you. As far as the rest of your family is conserned, I kinda feel bad for them, and I feel bad for you, having to

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EffMeBoobs
11-12-2002, 02:48 PM
I parked facing the wrong way. All the other parked cars were facing forwards, I was facing backwards. Big whoop right? I saw my dad in the deli, who commented on the fact that I was parked the wrong way.


Like McNabb said can you really get a ticket for this?

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ChrisTheCop
11-12-2002, 03:47 PM
She doesnt say, but I'll assume that there's a sign that says "head in parking only"...if she lives in a small town, i suppose she can indeed get a parking ticket for it.

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silera
11-12-2002, 03:58 PM
Missy, I feel your pain.

My Sister and I have our ups and downs but my favorite two quotes from her are the following:

"When you tell my about your problems, I'm just thinking about how I look while I'm driving my car."

"It's not my fault your life is miserable."

Oh, and I got a ticket for parking the wrong way, it doesn't fuck up your license, it's just a parking ticket and it's attached to the car, NOT the license.


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<font size=3><font color=Blue>I can't stand myself either.</font></center>
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Meatball
11-12-2002, 04:05 PM
The ticket and credit are not the point. the point is how much crap will missy accept in her life before she reaches "rock bottom". You dont have to accept that kind of abuse into your life and what your sister did was verbally abuse you. For whatever reason - you dont feel like your worthy enough to put up the proper boundaries between you and your parasitic family.



This message was edited by mortician on 11-12-02 @ 8:10 PM

furie
11-12-2002, 04:22 PM
missy,
tell her you're sorry and offer to let her move back in and you'll pay her rent for 6 months to make up for it.

Then as soon as she moves back in with you, kick the bitch to the curb.

It'll do you a world of good. Then get your own license.

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It means what it is
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BrianTheBailBondsman
11-12-2002, 04:27 PM
holly shit i'm worn out from reading .. i forgot what i was gonna say But, I'm behind you no matter what u decide

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Dan
11-12-2002, 07:03 PM
Everyone loves to blame thier own problems on others. It helps us get through the day.

It sucks but when it's your family, you have to let a few things slide. The real question is, if you were really in dire need, would your sister be there for you unconditionally? If the answer is no, fuck her. But, if the answer is yes you have to let her vent and try to get past it. You can't let the little things ruin a real relationship, as crappy as those little thing are.

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Cybersoldier
11-12-2002, 07:08 PM
missy that is not normal for anyone. Has your sister ever did that to you at any other time? if not maybe it could be psychological, she might have a OCD-just my opinion based on information. I hope you day end and week on a better note

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ChickenHawk
11-12-2002, 07:10 PM
Lay down the law and start
being a bitch. Holding it
inside isn't gonna do any
good.


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wilee
11-12-2002, 07:43 PM
Don't become emotional when she does stuff like that. My two sisters aren't talking to each other (been like that for about a year now). I tried to work out their problems, but they're both too stubborn. And it's all over something minor.

As was said above in this thread, she's over-reacting, and is trying to believe her problems are caused by someone else. You just happened to be who she vented on at that time. Don't let what happened to my sisters happen to you and your sister.

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Justice4all
11-12-2002, 08:07 PM
Ok...I know I am the minority here...but if I did not have a license and someone loaned me their car I would do EVERYTHING right...even parking, because if I get caught it would fuck things up for me AND the person who's car I am driving.
But she WAS wrong to attack you like that. There are ways to approach someone to talk to them. Calling them up and screaming at them is NOT one of them.
So I know where she is comming from but she handled it in the WORST way.
So overall she was wrong.

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Earth2RON
11-12-2002, 09:43 PM
Like McNabb said can you really get a ticket for this?
Here in Brooklyn you can.I drove to Brighton Beach once and a man told me if i park backwards i will get a ticket for it!

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HordeKing1
11-12-2002, 10:25 PM
AMB - This isn't the first time you've posted about your family. It's clear that there are major issues going on among various members and the group dynamics are too complex to give specific advice about without having met the family.

However, I can offer a breakdown of some of the elements that are reflected in your account of the latest situation.

1. You're driving w/o a license. Not a good idea. Firsly, it's a crime. It has tremendous legal liability attached to it, in the event of an accident. Finally the liability extends to the owner of the car - your sister.

2. Your sister screamed at you. From her perspective you drove to Deli in her car w/o a license. You parked facing the wrong way. Previously you used her license and got a speeding ticket. The latter especially is an understandable aggravation for her. Even though you paid the fine, the points remain on her record. She's also upset that you previously used her credit card and were late paying the bill, but it is now fully paid.

3. It's clear that you resent your sister's statement that you were the cause of "all of her problems." You feel that you will do anything for anyone, especially family. Specifically, you got your sister a job. You helped her find an apartment. You let her live in your apartment w/o charge. You give her lots of financial support.

4. The instigator of this particular event was your Dad who told your sister about the car and the backwards parking. Why did he feel the need to do this? Is he afraid to confront you himself? Would you accept his criticism? Was he being critical or did your sister just take it that way?

5. Feeling sick of having to mother your family is entirely valid and you should not feel guilty about this at all. It's clear that you feel some measure of obligation as well as you report that you "wish you could be mean" and move away from them. Why do you feel it would be mean to move away from them? Perhaps doing so would force them to take some responsibility in their life. Telling them to get lost (or moving away) is a valid option.

However, if you wish to have a relationship with them, it would certainly be more effective if you could all go to family counseling. There are a lot of issues that have to be worked out and they must be brought into the open in a safe environment.

If you'd like to talk more about this privately, please e-mail or AIM me.


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angrymissy
11-13-2002, 05:06 AM
someone loaned me their car

nonono its MY car not hers. If I had been borrowing HER car I wouldn't be parking all screwy

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shellcreatives
11-16-2002, 05:51 PM
Forget giving dad and sis 40/41 wacks, get out your shotgun and let 'er rip...

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furie
11-16-2002, 07:09 PM
have you thought of a vicious prank?


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HordeKing1
11-16-2002, 08:30 PM
If the car in question was yours, not hers, then clearly, she was not angry at you for parking the wrong way - she'd have no reason to be.

However, it was a starting point for her to launch her diatribe about what was really bothering her. It was started by your father's communication about the incident to her.

You would not be wrong to leave them on their own and cut all ties. Before taking such a radical step however, you must be certain that this is what you really want.

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CYYYFYYY
11-16-2002, 10:10 PM
The best advise I got is you
are screwed... people are nice
not because they want to
because it is who they are. I
have tried many times WELL I
AM GOING TO BE AN A-HOLE....
IT NEVER WORKS.... Face it you
are going to get screwed your
whole life and I am not saying
that in a good way. Oh oh I
wish I was an A_HOLE.... Now
that should be a
son


Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
I am just a Simple jewish Boy
from the Lower east Side
I am the CYYYFYYY
Party Harty!!!!!!

erole
11-17-2002, 01:59 AM
just my two cents,
it's a judgement call, but i think that you venting on your sister isn't a bad idea.
i'm not saying that you should just out and jump on her. the next time someone vents in your family, yells, or carries on like a flaming brainless lunatic - tell them how you feel, and express how you see the facts.
and i'm not saying to yell at them when they yell at you...just play it as yourself, in your own way. i think you must express yourself to your family. especially if you want to cut them off, or distance yourself from them, you should let them know why.
yeah, let them know how you feel, what you think. it's not easy to do for some people, i know i have a hard time doing it myself. whether it's because i don't want to make needless waves, or start a bigger argument, or making rifts in our lives when there is already so much pain.
there are two points to this:
1 - expressing your feelings and concerns to loved ones is essential to them and to yourself.
2 - it is unfair, and one-sided if your family can express themselves to you in their own way, but you must bear the weight of keeping silent.
i love ya missy, do what you think is best, but whatever you choose, tell them EXACTLY how you feel. what you are going through is unfair, everyone makes mistakes. i see a lot of paralells of your family situation to my own. i wish you the best. for more venting...e-mail me, i'm not a great advice giver but i'm a great ear.