If I was your girlfriend, and I
knew that you had gone
home with some other
chick after flirting with her all
night, even if NOTHING had
happened, that would be
the end of the relationship.
Maybe not immediately,
because no, I don't have
balls that big, but I would
not trust you any more, and
eventually the relationship
would self destruct.
Do you tell your girlfriend
that you go home with the
volleyball chick? If you don't,
why? Because it is
something you feel guilty
about. and if you are feeling
guilty about it, then it means
that somehow you feel that
you have strayed outside of
'acceptable' behavior in your
relationship, and do not
want your girlfriend to find
out.
In my mind, in a truly
committed relationship -
and forgive me, but I think
that truly committed
relationships are
extraordinarily rare in
college age people; this is
not a reflection on you and I
am not trying to say that you
are a horrible cheater or
anything by any means -
you don't feel the need to
make sure other people
want you by doing things
that you dont want your
significant other to find out
about.
Everyone has a need on
some level to feel attractive
to the general populace
rather than only their
significant; I can hardly sit
here and say that I don't -
sometimes I feel like I just
need to have some uniased
eyes on me LOL. But rather
than go out to a bar and flirt
with other guys, I like to go
toe red rocks, with my
boyfriend, and dance on the
bar. I'm not saying that the
fundamental actions are in
any absolute sense better
or worse, but in my mind,
I'm not HIDING anything.
Like I said before: if you are
wondering whether or not
what you did/are
doing/about to do is
'cheating' or not, it proably
is, in the sense that in the
end it is going to have the
same, negative effect on
your relationship.
TooCute: Yeah, of
course that would all be
true. In a perfect world. But
it's not. People have
desires, instincts, etc. You
never know how you will
react in a situation until you
are put in it. People are not
perfect, they will not always
do the right thing.
Example: There was a girl
(she ended up being capn
of the volleyball team, so
you can believe me when I
say she had a great body)
who I was infatuated with in
my freshman year of
college, but she had a
boyfriend. Fast forward to
senior year. I now have a gf
of 2 years (about 150 miles
away) and she is single. I
see her in a bar for the first
time since freshman year.
We flirt a bit, and she
convinces me to go back to
her place. I go. As much as
I am tempted, nothing ever
happens. Of course I feel
guilty about it getting that
far, but at the same time, a
little proud of myself for
resisting. So, yeah, I was
wrong: I should never have
flirted and went back to her
place. But a little slack is in
order. I am only a man, with
carnal instincts and desires
but I did not let them
overcome me. And no, I do
not feel like I
cheated
<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!