The Chairman
11-19-2002, 11:44 AM
Personally I like the Superstar bit, but it's getting stale, especially all the references to babies. Why not add some spice and see if the show can get a real kid..... "Superstar Jr." to come into the studio? He/she can still do the "Good"/"No Good Thing."
Here's some possible Superstar Jr. questions I came up with (sorry for the long list but I write fast and I was bored today).
Dressing up as one of Santa's elves and distributing Toys for Tots at your local hospital's pediatric unit as part of your Eagle Scout project.
Showing up at the pediatric unit dressed in pimp clothes, telling the kids that Santa Claus is not real, and handing out pamphlets you stole from Jehovah's Witnesses.
Taking your elderly neighbor's dogs for a walk.
Borrowing your neighbor's dogs and dropping them off at the cosmetics lab for "Draize Tests."
Reading the directions and following warning labels before using any product.
Using aerosol spray bottles in manners inconsistent with their labeling.
Giving your girlfriend a gold necklace for Valentines Day.
Giving your girlfriend's mom a "Pearl Necklace."
Bringing in a genuine Louis XIV armoire to the Antiques Roadshow.
Bringing your mother's vibrator to the Antiques Roadshow.
Always waiting patiently while your mother shops for clothes in the Women's World section of Macy's.
Hiding in the middle of clothes racks in Lane Bryant and yelling out lines from the movie Free Willy.
Eating marshmallow peeps during the Easter holiday.
Sucking the coating off jelly beans and sticking the insides in your grandmother's bottle of suppositories.
Your parents have a "My Son is an Honor Student" bumper sticker.
Beating up honor students, stealing their lunch money, and using it to buy crack.
Letting your less fortunate friends play with your Pokemon cards and giving them the doubles.
Swindling your classmates at Three Card Monte during lunch break.
Never, ever, thinking about having anal sex with your girlfriend.
Cornholeing her so much that her anus has a circumference that approximates the inside of a Bundt cake.
Having a Flintstones chewable vitamin every morning with breakfast.
Hiding Xanax that you steal from your mom in a Pez dispenser.
Waiting until you are married before having sex.
Giving a girl a few Roofies and waiting till she passes out before having sex.
Playing with the collectible Lord of the Rings action figures that you get from Burger King.
Turning over your bicycle, spinning the tires real hard, and grinding the tits off your sister's Barbie Dolls.
Putting mini-marshmallows in hot chocolate.
Placing rabbit turds in corn flakes and giving it to your elderly aunt, telling her it's Raisin Bran.
Helping a blind person cross the street.
Going into your blind neighbor's medicine cabinet and substituting a can of Pam No-Stick cooking spray for his aerosol deodorant.
Interviewing your male History teacher for an article in the school paper.
Placing a copy of the NAMBLA Newsletter on your male Science teacher's desk on "Open School Night."
Bringing in a real bird's nest to Show and Tell.
Bringing in a speculum to Show and Tell.
Knowing your father's liquor cabinet is "off limits."
Stealing your dad's vodka, and urinating in the Galiano bottle after taking a multivitamin.
Bringing your teacher back a colorful Pinata after visiting Mexico.
Bringing your teacher a jug of the local tap water after visiting Mexico.
Notifying the lifeguard at the local pool when you see a girl drowning, so he can make a daring rescue by throwing her a life preserver.
Upon seeing a girl drowning at the beach, throwing her a colander.
Keeping a Habitrail full of gerbils as pets.
Breeding lemmings, only to release them near seaside cliffs so you can watch them initiate mass suicide migrations.
Thinking the Olsen twins have nice smiles.
Thinking Jennifer Lopez has a nice ass.
Helping your mother make homemade bread and muffins for the PTA Bake Sale.
Sprinkling yeast inside your mother's lingerie drawer.
Having fun making
Here's some possible Superstar Jr. questions I came up with (sorry for the long list but I write fast and I was bored today).
Dressing up as one of Santa's elves and distributing Toys for Tots at your local hospital's pediatric unit as part of your Eagle Scout project.
Showing up at the pediatric unit dressed in pimp clothes, telling the kids that Santa Claus is not real, and handing out pamphlets you stole from Jehovah's Witnesses.
Taking your elderly neighbor's dogs for a walk.
Borrowing your neighbor's dogs and dropping them off at the cosmetics lab for "Draize Tests."
Reading the directions and following warning labels before using any product.
Using aerosol spray bottles in manners inconsistent with their labeling.
Giving your girlfriend a gold necklace for Valentines Day.
Giving your girlfriend's mom a "Pearl Necklace."
Bringing in a genuine Louis XIV armoire to the Antiques Roadshow.
Bringing your mother's vibrator to the Antiques Roadshow.
Always waiting patiently while your mother shops for clothes in the Women's World section of Macy's.
Hiding in the middle of clothes racks in Lane Bryant and yelling out lines from the movie Free Willy.
Eating marshmallow peeps during the Easter holiday.
Sucking the coating off jelly beans and sticking the insides in your grandmother's bottle of suppositories.
Your parents have a "My Son is an Honor Student" bumper sticker.
Beating up honor students, stealing their lunch money, and using it to buy crack.
Letting your less fortunate friends play with your Pokemon cards and giving them the doubles.
Swindling your classmates at Three Card Monte during lunch break.
Never, ever, thinking about having anal sex with your girlfriend.
Cornholeing her so much that her anus has a circumference that approximates the inside of a Bundt cake.
Having a Flintstones chewable vitamin every morning with breakfast.
Hiding Xanax that you steal from your mom in a Pez dispenser.
Waiting until you are married before having sex.
Giving a girl a few Roofies and waiting till she passes out before having sex.
Playing with the collectible Lord of the Rings action figures that you get from Burger King.
Turning over your bicycle, spinning the tires real hard, and grinding the tits off your sister's Barbie Dolls.
Putting mini-marshmallows in hot chocolate.
Placing rabbit turds in corn flakes and giving it to your elderly aunt, telling her it's Raisin Bran.
Helping a blind person cross the street.
Going into your blind neighbor's medicine cabinet and substituting a can of Pam No-Stick cooking spray for his aerosol deodorant.
Interviewing your male History teacher for an article in the school paper.
Placing a copy of the NAMBLA Newsletter on your male Science teacher's desk on "Open School Night."
Bringing in a real bird's nest to Show and Tell.
Bringing in a speculum to Show and Tell.
Knowing your father's liquor cabinet is "off limits."
Stealing your dad's vodka, and urinating in the Galiano bottle after taking a multivitamin.
Bringing your teacher back a colorful Pinata after visiting Mexico.
Bringing your teacher a jug of the local tap water after visiting Mexico.
Notifying the lifeguard at the local pool when you see a girl drowning, so he can make a daring rescue by throwing her a life preserver.
Upon seeing a girl drowning at the beach, throwing her a colander.
Keeping a Habitrail full of gerbils as pets.
Breeding lemmings, only to release them near seaside cliffs so you can watch them initiate mass suicide migrations.
Thinking the Olsen twins have nice smiles.
Thinking Jennifer Lopez has a nice ass.
Helping your mother make homemade bread and muffins for the PTA Bake Sale.
Sprinkling yeast inside your mother's lingerie drawer.
Having fun making