dumbest shit you did while drunk [Archive]

NurseMira

11-21-2002, 11:10 AM

Sometimes, when I am drunk, I think the world revolves around me and I don't think that people might be sleeping or with other people that might not approve of my presence.

But, I am the QUEEN of drunk phone calls.

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thank you for the sig, mindtank

Just put it in my mouth...in my muthafucken' mouth

Katylina

11-21-2002, 11:16 AM

This one time when I was drunk at the Ron and Fezztival, a boy molested me, and I hid behind alkey and silera. The problem was I did not tell them why I was hiding. I regret not telling them. NOW I HAND THE MIC OVER TO AG... THE KING OF ALCOHOLIC STUPIDITY!!! hahaha

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DarkHippie

11-21-2002, 11:22 AM

3 words . . . truth or dare :(

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11-21-2002, 11:29 AM

NOW I HAND THE MIC OVER TO AG... THE KING OF ALCOHOLIC STUPIDITY!!! hahaha Oh gee thanks, what a horrible honor. Just to let everyone know that was the OLD me.I dont do that anymore! You keep talking smack about me, Im gonna come right up to you , confront you about it and make you all wet! (INSIDE JOKE)

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This message was edited by ag1247 on 11-21-02 @ 3:32 PM

Katylina

11-21-2002, 11:31 AM

He's lying: we got drunk last weekend.

He tried to bring an open beer into a taxi. "You no ride in cab with drink."
<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton</marquee>
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This message was edited by Katylina on 11-21-02 @ 3:35 PM

DreamWeaver

11-21-2002, 11:31 AM

Ever play "Lick the Nipple" Asshole?....It was a fun game at the time.

I also thought once it would be a good idea to go to the bar at 7am where I came up with the idea to go to the Bahamas. I even booked the limo to take me and my friend to the airport. Thanks Dan for canceling it...the motherbitches even charged me $50

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11-21-2002, 11:33 AM

He's lying: we got drunk last weekend.
I had an excuse though, I was hanging out with a celb! And I had to show him a good time, so I got him drunk, along with myself.

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bam44

11-21-2002, 11:34 AM

I once throw up all over my self in a club, while my friends left me sleeping in the corner. I knew I was doing it,being too drunk to care,I went back to sleep till my friends took me home

angrymissy

11-21-2002, 11:44 AM

But, I am the QUEEN of drunk phone calls.

I am the worstest person when it comes to making evil mean drunk phone calls.

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Captain Rooster

11-21-2002, 11:50 AM

Streaked Hofstra University's dorms while the sorotities were pledging;)

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Alice S. Fuzzybutt

11-21-2002, 11:51 AM

I'd tell you, but, you know, "pending litigation..." :-)

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I'm a big wheel down at the cracker factory.

SoccerMom

11-21-2002, 12:06 PM

In college a bunch of us went up to a friend's hunting cabin in Cobbleskill. My friend Pete and I forgot our ID, so when the others went into town drinking, we had our own little party and then decided it would be really funny to catch a skunk and make a smelly Davey Crockett hat. We were wandering around in the snow half the night and are lucky we didn't freeze to death. We were also lucky we didn't find a skunk.

fatty

11-21-2002, 12:39 PM

i'd just like to say i'm glad to see clare back. she's the bestest.

i throw up a lot in bad places when i'm really drunk, but most of my dumb shit takes place when i'm on other drugs

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Aggie

11-21-2002, 01:08 PM

my biggest drunken regrets? i'd say football players, it's never a good idea to hang out with them when shitfaced...but i don't get that drunk anymore thank god.

~Thanks Fluffernutter!~
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Ramon Tamzarian

11-21-2002, 02:13 PM

I don't drink much.
But once I was so trashed at a house party, I made a makeshift bed out of towels and fell asleep in the bathroom. Beer sucks.

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fiestygal

11-21-2002, 02:18 PM

hmmmm....DRINK 7 JAEGARS, GET DRUNK, FALL DOWN, GET THROWN OUT OF THE HARD ROCK, apparently PUKE OUTSIDE A CAB...the rest is fuzzy

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KC2OSO

11-21-2002, 02:21 PM

while at a frat party at U of Deleware, go to break up a fight between a brother and a pledge. turns out the brother is a state boxing champ. he punched me in the head. i was out for about an hour. i guess i got knocked the fuck out.

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This message was edited by Fester on 11-21-02 @ 6:30 PM

ChrisTheCop

11-21-2002, 02:22 PM

1 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

2 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an asshole.

3 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.

4 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your pants.

5 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
converse logically with members of the opposite sex without spitting

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her.

--W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading.
--Henny Youngman
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

--Stephen Wright Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

--Benjamin Franklin
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This message was edited by ChrisTheCop on 11-21-02 @ 6:33 PM

zathrus

11-21-2002, 02:36 PM

i fell off a chair, thats all that i can think of.

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walking joint

11-21-2002, 02:46 PM

in college i was trying to get back into the dorms, but didn't have my access card and no one seemed to be in the building to let me in and i really had to take a leak. so i looked behind me to see if anyone was around and just started going against the door in the hallway. i paid so much attention to make sure people weren't coming behind me I didn't see the RA peeking through the other side of the door waiting to let me in. that was my last weekend in the dorms.

CrazyClare

11-21-2002, 03:29 PM

welllllllll.... a few of the things ive done, aside from, punching dudes in the face, I jumped from my friends roof onto his trampoline, it woulda been great if i hadnt landed on my face... last night i forgot my ID to get in the dorms so I decided that flashing the security guard would get me in.. it did but i dont think things will ever be the same again between me and Roger.

http://images.andale.com/f2/114/101/6014349/1019800377294_clare_rf.jpg

ChrisTheCop

11-21-2002, 03:37 PM

so I decided that flashing the security guard would get me in.. it did
damn i knew i shudda taken that job <img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/donutshop_sig.gif">

This message was edited by ChrisTheCop on 11-21-02 @ 7:42 PM

Mxyzptlk

11-21-2002, 03:38 PM

Put some grain alcohol on my nose then lit it. Needless to say I didn't need a haircut for a while. 

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Big Jim

11-21-2002, 04:38 PM

hooked up with a girl back around Halloween...NEVER AGAIN..READ ELSEWHERE ABOUT THAT NIGHT!

I would REALLY love a new sig pic from some creative person out there!!!!

I love you all,
*BIG JIM*

Contra

11-21-2002, 07:14 PM

well the worst things i've done have been phone calls in the early morning and the things i do when i black out.

the worst thing i remember happening around me was when me and my friends were blowing fireballs with grain alcohol. my friend had spilled a little on his arm earlier and we forgot about it, and he lit his entire arm on fire when he tried to blow the fireball. we were so drunk we just laughed as he squirmed in pain. in the end, 3rd degree burns.

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R.I.P. Jam Master J

Geppetto

11-22-2002, 08:29 PM

Ever wake up under a bush in the yard across from your house only to see your car parked under the nieghbors swing set. (You know the outline of those things can really look like a garage door in the dark.) So you walk over to your car to move it before your nieghbors wake up. Thats when you notice all your wareing is sweat pants, the thing is there not your sweat pants and this is not what you had on when you went to the party last night. I wish I could tell you about the great time I had or how even how I got home but hell if I know. Never did find my shoes.

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sexy bastard

11-23-2002, 05:40 AM

got extremely drunk and got home, realized i did not have my keyswith me...so it wassummertime and i looked up and noticed my bedroom window on the second floor was open, so i climed on top of the air conditioner, climed on the branch got to the first roof held on, fell didnt the othersteps again, came into my house, got my keys went downstairs opened the door, unlocked it and went outside to havea cigarette while i had blood trickleing down my face

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oldschoolbarb

11-23-2002, 06:04 AM

The last time I had Jaegermeister was 1995, and this is why I won't ever drink it again: That night I... ...got up on stage w/the band to do the screaming part in Rage Against the Machine's

I want to carry Fez around in my pocket.

oldschoolbarb

11-23-2002, 06:32 AM

damn, it was a good story, I swear it, but I'm too lazy to type it again... 

I want to carry Fez around in my pocket.

reeshy

11-23-2002, 08:23 AM

Proposed to my first wife!!!!

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This message was edited by reeshy on 12-3-02 @ 12:52 PM

LatinSpiceXoX

11-23-2002, 12:14 PM

I do the 'call-everyone-in-your-phone-book-and-act-silly' thing all the time... and then when I get drunk, I get very wild and open and start dancing w/ the poles or against the wall at clubs, like if I'm giving it the best ass-dance. You should see guys try to slip in between me and the wall! *LOL*

'..You think you can handle this Kadoonk Kadoonk-doonk?..'
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reeshy

12-02-2002, 09:00 AM

again

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This message was edited by reeshy on 12-3-02 @ 12:50 PM

hyperspace

12-02-2002, 09:49 AM

called a phone sex service with an expired credit card and my parents got billed $500 because they phone was in there name!! fucking 20 year olds with a mastercharge!!!

MavisBeacon

12-02-2002, 10:08 AM

when i was drunk, i made the mistake of getting between the big one and the wall....

Hybrid

12-02-2002, 11:08 AM

jump off the moving tram car in wildwood.

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There's music playing
But we dance to the beat of our own black hearts
And draw diagrams of suicide on each other's wrists,
Then trace them with razorblades</center>

TomPoo

12-03-2002, 08:08 AM

took an exam in my Micro-Econimics Class.

I got a 32.

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WRITE YOUR LETTER TO SUPPORT RON AND FEZ TODAY!!!!!!!

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Dirt Merchant 03

12-03-2002, 08:23 AM

I passed out in someone's flower bed, lost my damn cardigan too!

There's also a few too many nights when I find myself passed out in the shower trying to sober up. It never works. You wake up naked wondering what the hell happened and why your hair is so nappy.

"Shut Up 'a Ya Face!"

johnbravo

12-03-2002, 09:57 AM

there was a bunch of us that got drunk all the time and there always was this weird kid that would pop out of the woods or jump out of a tree in the middle of one of are partys well one time he passed out from drinking wine and we stripped him down to his boxers took him to his doorstep pissed on him and rang the door bell we ran like hell didnt see him for 2weeks then he pops up again out of the woods kid was always doing shit like that we called him old school ray

why just have a cup of dirt
how about a dirtshake or a dirt pizza topped with extra dirt or you can come over and we can hop in the sack and take a dirtnap

Michael Fury

12-03-2002, 10:09 AM

Got drunk and beat the crap out of a Nintendo.

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.

angrymissy

12-03-2002, 10:44 AM

I went to a conehead buddah (some sort of ska type band) show at wetlands with my boyfriend, and got so drunk that I was harassing the singer to play neds atomic dustbin.

Then I got ON the stage and demanded they play it, and started dancing like an idiot.

I was escorted off of the stage by 2 large security guards and my bf was mortified.

I then got in a cab and proceeded to ask the driver to take me to the VAULT. When he didn't know where it was, I kept yelling BUT ITS A SEX CLUB AND I WANNA GO.

I will NEVER drink vodka and cranberry juice again after that night.

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grlNIN

12-03-2002, 10:56 AM

Ran across the Highway and jumped the border with a shitload of oncoming traffic. Then as i was walking down the Highway with my friends i decided to change my shirt bc i didnt like the one i was wearing they tried to help me but i gave up in the middle of changing and just kept walking down the side of said Highway in my bra, stupid pina cooladas

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CrazyClare

12-04-2002, 08:48 PM

last night I decided to rearrange my room but gave up in the middle and passed out. I woke up with my sesk in the middle of the room and I had to squeeze around it to get out to pee. it totally suckeed

http://images.andale.com/f2/114/101/6014349/1019800377294_clare_rf.jpg

Donnielimes

12-05-2002, 06:09 AM

the dumbest shit I ever did when I was drunk was go to flashdamncers on New Years Eve get shit faced and spend $700 dollars.

blakjeezis

12-05-2002, 06:47 AM

At the behest of my gf at the time, I dropped my pants to the ankle, popped the fly on my boxers, and exposed myself to a ballroom full of sorority girls and their dates.

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Orallo

12-05-2002, 08:04 AM

I was about 16 or 17, went to a party (small party, like 8 to 10 people and all of us were friends) and got REALLY shit faced.

So much so that they put me to bed... About an hour later, I wake up totally fucked up and I decide that it would be a great idea to get naked and to outside where every body is hanging out and start asking all the chick friends for sex... One by one...

after laughing and pointing at me for a while one of my buddies took me back to bed.

The next day I was shamed and ridiculed by all... but in a fun humorous way...

Anyway Peace & Hugs

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WAYS TO SKIN A CAT #173: starving PCP -laden gerbils
WAYS TO SKIN A CAT #137: tweezers
WAYS TO SKIN A CAT: #12 Hydrochloric acid.
WAYS TO SKIN A CAT: #27 Use an electric belt sander.
WAYS TO SKIN A CAT: #4 Cattle prod set on "Ultra High".
WAYS TO SKIN A CAT: #42 Use a weedeater.

bam44

12-05-2002, 08:55 AM

This guy I was dating took me to a really nice,romantic restaurantin Manhattan called One if by Land, It was really hot out that night. We had about three bottles of wine with dinner, when we left the restaurant and the hot summer air hit me I was done. I was so drunk he was afraid to take me home ,so he took me to his house and I proceeded to puke all over him and his bathroom.I guess he liked it, were married five years.

Nice Girl, Nice Family...

SilverMonkeyGod

12-05-2002, 01:03 PM

Well i ran after a rabbit with a rock and repeatedly screamed "DIE COMMUNIST". oh yeah and my pants were not on. ALmost forgot that part.

This message was edited by SilverMonkeyGod on 12-5-02 @ 5:06 PM

Justice4all

12-05-2002, 09:58 PM

Does kissing a guy count?
Oh yea...I also called a friend at about 2 am while i walked 5 miles home to my beach house from the club.
She was very nice to stay on the phone even when the nice police officer was picking me up because they thought I was rape suspect who attacked a girl earlier in the evening.(hell of a night...lemme tell ya)

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Thank you JerseyRich!!!!!

furie

12-06-2002, 07:05 PM

drunken phone call to ex and the worst, shaved a girls eyebrows.

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thanks fallon!
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shamus mcfitzy

12-06-2002, 07:31 PM

Well i ran after a rabbit with a rock and repeatedly screamed "DIE COMMUNIST". oh yeah and my pants were not on. ALmost forgot that part.

a rabbit chased me with a rock shouting "DIE COMMUNIST!!!"

and sadly my pants weren't on either

french bread pizza

12-07-2002, 04:42 AM

this one time clare got married to a drunk bum in nyc while we were both drunk..

but then i got to make out with her all night and the bum stayed on the corner..guess i lucked out huh..

your welcome

french bread pizza

12-07-2002, 04:46 AM

jump off the moving tram car in wildwood.

::holds nose:: watch the tram car please..watch the tram car please..

oh yeah when i was in san diego two summers ago..me and my roomate went to tijuana and on the way back in the tram, i was so drunk off of tequila that i puked on the tram...just in the middle of a druken convo wth a bunch of people...

after i did it one guy goes "great now none of us can hook up with her" andi stood up with like puke breath and screamed, "like i wouldnt' hooked up with any of you losers anyway" then we realized we realized it was our stop, but couldn't figure out how to get the doors open (we wereon the wrong side we realized later) then had to get out at the wrong stop with the people laughing at me, as well as my roomate laughing at me.

finally we figured out where we were, walked to her brother's house with was downtown and apt. was about a 5 min drive/20min walk so we went to his apt..couldnt find anyone there but since we had a keywe went in and i feel asleep..

somehow the next morning i woke up in my own bed in my apt..i don't remember

your welcome

cutebutpsycho

02-08-2004, 09:34 AM

Oh my god, last night i got so drunk at a house party i was sick everywhere and i asked everyone why they thought i was crap. I then told a girl that we didnt like each other, which wasnt good because we got on ok. I was also really rude to everyone cos i kept telling them to fuck off. I woke up this morning in my own bed and i didnt know how i had got there, or that any of this had happened. Turns out they had to take me home.

Shudder

02-09-2004, 07:12 AM

Dumbest and most interesting all in the same span of time.

I was visiting my buddy in college since I graduated the previous year and hadn't been there for a little while. Got megaripped off who knows what and was starving, so I went to get some food. That wasn't good enough for me. I went out AGAIN.

When I'm drunk and I'm somewhat sobering up, I get REALLY odd and bored and usually do some crazy shit. So, since I had already walked back earlier that night, I decided to try a shortcut to spice it up a bit. Well, I don't know where the hell I was going, but the next thing I really remember was I was standing on the top of a warehouse/garage type of thing in a construction area. I looked around and went near the edge and noticed I was a good 25 feet off the ground. Whoops.

I literally have no idea how I got up there and I wasn't about to just drop off and break something. But, I looked around at one of the sides and noticed that there were 2 big white vans on the ground. I figured, what the fuck, so I got a big running start and leapt off the side. I actually landed on the roof of one of them, did a little move to stop myself from flying forward, and then I reached over to the other one and dropped safely down. I don't even know if I could do shit like that sober, but it worked wondefully.

Then I decided that it would be best if I let the air out of a bulldozer's tires. Not a good idea. Not because something bad happened, but because after holding the damn thing for 10 minutes I don't think it let out enough air to even make a difference.

Then I ran home and I think i broke some stuff, but don't remember all the details. It's just interesting that I could've died or ended up in someplace worse.

--
Feed me please :(

DJEvelEd

02-09-2004, 11:19 AM

I was young (drinking J.D.) and I didn't want my friend's Dad to know I was drunk so I puked in my mouth and swallowed it (twice). He never knew. Then I got out of the car and puked behind a F‘calTree. F‘cesTTree??? Well it was a tree where there was alot of shit around it which made me puke even harder. I think I slept in it.

Thanks Katylina, you make the shittiest sigs.
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KERMIT

02-09-2004, 02:45 PM

Shoveling snow in a T-shirt and my bare feet during a blizzard in hunter mountain. and throwing the snow where the wind was blowing so it all comes right back at me.

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Thanks To MikeyBoy For the Sig

GwEnYpOo

02-09-2004, 02:50 PM

when i was 13 i hgo= t drunk and valled my mom up on her cell and sed , dude im sooooooooo drunk right now , i was punished 4 6 monthsess

"you think you've got it oh you think you've got it , but got it just don't get it when there's nothing at all"
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Iamnotatool

02-09-2004, 02:54 PM

6 hole monthssess Now phuckingg weigh.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

smiler grogan

02-09-2004, 02:57 PM

gwennypoo is that some hip new way of speaking you kids are doing now cuz I can't undersand I thing you wrote.

Bill From Yorktown

02-09-2004, 02:57 PM

hmm, that would be either puking in someone's car or eating chinese food and white wine after drinking beer and puking on myself in the dormroom of this girl I liked. So much for that affair.

<IMG SRC="http://hometown.aol.com/billb914/sigpic.gif">

smiler grogan

02-09-2004, 03:06 PM

Lets see
I was at a college party the semester after I graduated with my on again off again girlfriend.
I proceeded to get smashed and really jealous of her talking to some kid (although she wasn't to be trusted so I had reason). I took a leak in the bathroom and saw the plunger. I took it and threatened this kid with it. I must of looked like a maniac screaming at them weilding my mighty plunger.
I then stuck the plunger to the ceiling and started spitting on my ex and then started screaming at her at the top of my lungs until i stumbled into my car and drove home way to drunk but thankfully I made it.

Johnathan H Christ

02-10-2004, 12:58 PM

im only weird when i end up alone and drunk. last time this happened i accidentally crushed one of my toes in the door (picture coming soon) then i decided i was hungry... so i made bacon which turned out to be about 3 months old...look just like the new stuff. so the next day (yesterday) i suffered through a hangover, food poisoning and crushed appendage.
this stuff only happens when im left to entertain myself.

other offences include throwing rotted oranges at mexicans across the street at 6 AM from my balcony while they were waiting for their forman to show up.

IMing all kinds of people who dont want to hear from me. 99% of the time either professing my undying love or unfettered hatred.

crying to ronny bennington about my girl whos dying of cancer...but when im drunk i forget shes not my girl.

i guess all the usual stuff...but i dont throw up on things.

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/logo width=300 height=100>
"his very conception was an act of animosity, why shouldnt his entire life be one as well?"

This message was edited by Johnathan H Christ on 2-10-04 @ 5:00 PM

Freakshow

02-10-2004, 01:15 PM

I was in Australia and went on a thing called rivercruise. The residental college I was staying in put it on, and it was all you can drink. The beer was midstrength, but since it was all you can drink I had at least twice as much if not more than I should have (I would get 2 full cups and try to dance, but the beer would spill, so I would skull at least half and then, well, I would need more beer soon).

Anyway I was completely obliterated when we got back to college. I wandered over to campus which was adjacent to where I was staying (thankfully there was a pedestrian tunnel under the busy highway that is between the two) and wandered around on campus. I ended up on my back in the middle of the cricket oval starting at the stars. Well, the stars started to spin and I managed to get on all fours and start crawling. When I got to the blue line which is the boundary line in cricket I thought to myself, well, i'm out of bounds--I can puke now. And I did.

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/molly.jpg>
 Err: We get checks from the government and we spend them on beer. Mexican Beer.

Big Jim

02-10-2004, 01:27 PM

had sex with a girl ...UGGGGHHHH
I regret that night in November back in 2003.

I would REALLY love a new sig pic from some creative person out there!!!!

I love you all,
*BIG

Arienette

02-10-2004, 08:18 PM

as someone mentioned earlier... truth or dare. adults should NOT be allowed to play that game. the stakes are far too high.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img> we all know gold is getting old
the ice in my teeth keep the crystal cold
</center>

monsterone

02-10-2004, 10:14 PM

i woke up in a river. nothing like waking up under water to sober you up. damn italians and their delious homemade wine.

moral of the story, don't take a nap on a rock near a body of water, you could find yourself locked in a bathroom floor at your buddies cabin. oh yeah, he was really pissed i had the faucet running all night; and my wallet was in the sink. college memories...

<center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01" />

MO¥+ErO¥E.
moe & steels, you
are greatly missed... you too
horde king
"what did the five fingers say to the face?"</center>