My Campaign for President of the United States of America

[East Side Dave]

These are serious ideas that I plan to run with. Please tell me if you agree or disagree.
Platform #1: Speed limits. The right lane of East Side's New Modern Road System will be for those people who want to go 35-55 mph. The middle lane will be for those who want to drive 60-80 mph. The left lane will be for those who want to go 85+. Computer sensors with dynamite will be located underneath the road. If the individual fails to reach the designated speed, their car will automatically be blown up. The explosions will NOT be fatal. They will be done merely to disassemble the individual's automobile. Do you agree with this platform?

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[East Side Dave]

No. I do not agree with your platform. For one, it is not practical. Secondly, automobiles with wheels will not exist in ten years because of flying cars; rendering your idea obsolete. Go to hell!

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[East Side Dave]

I do not know why you harbor such anger towards me, my good man. I simply am trying to better America.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[Captain Rooster]

I bet you'd beat Gore. Wait, I bet Jesse Ventura would beat Gore. Nevermind.



<CENTER><img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/AgentCOLORSIG.jpg><center>((Ring))...((Ring))
Hello?
MINDCRIME</center>

[East Side Dave]

I hate you because 75% of your ideas come to you when you are in a Guinness and Pez stupor and because you're socks are of low-grade fiber.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[East Side Dave]

While it's true that I have indulged in the collar-loosening pint from time to time I assure you, sir, that my socks are of very quality material; the same sort of material that all K-Mart products are made of.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[Knowledged_one]

My god man are you worthless.
Why do a post then respond to yourself twice, this is not the way to get liked here. Whats your 2nd platform how much you hate bread.
At least try to be intresting in some way, not to mention you say platforms and list one idea. So look here johnbravoyumiimpactplayarangersfan, just give it up you arent funny

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/outkastsig.jpg">
I was rollin, showin my age unshaven. Rugged with my timberlands, leaning to the side from the weight of the heat

[Captain Rooster]

What!?



<CENTER><img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/AgentCOLORSIG.jpg><center>((Ring))...((Ring))
Hello?
MINDCRIME</center>

[East Side Dave]

Knowledged_one, you are a very little bitter man.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 11-26-02 @ 12:26 PM

[East Side Dave]

I agree.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[Captain Rooster]

If I can be drunk, can I be your running mate?



<CENTER><img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/AgentCOLORSIG.jpg><center>((Ring))...((Ring))
Hello?
MINDCRIME</center>

[East Side Dave]

If you care not for my ideas, move on to another topic. These are serious ideas. And I reply to myself because my massive/minute intellect has many personalities.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[East Side Dave]

Yes, Rooster, please join me. The Drunken Party will Unite!

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[McNabbShouldDie]

Well Davey Boy, you've got my vote.

<marquee bgcolor=00FF00>"Life is like sex baby, the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story."</marquee>

tHe DiCeMaN

[McNabbShouldDie]

East Side Dave sucks, GORE FOR PREZ IN 2004!

<marquee bgcolor=00FF00>"Life is like sex baby, the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story."</marquee>

tHe DiCeMaN

[McNabbShouldDie]

McNabb, how can you vote for Al Gore? That stupid smelly democrat.

<marquee bgcolor=00FF00>"Life is like sex baby, the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story."</marquee>

tHe DiCeMaN

[Captain Rooster]

I want to spit beer through my teeth onto Gore during a debate...is that cool?


<CENTER><img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/AgentCOLORSIG.jpg><center>((Ring))...((Ring))
Hello?
MINDCRIME</center>

[Captain Rooster]

Forget it, I just want to drink beer and watch football with McNabb.



<CENTER><img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/AgentCOLORSIG.jpg><center>((Ring))...((Ring))
Hello?
MINDCRIME</center>

[bboxer]

this will be my first presidential election ill be old enough to vote in, and george bush does NOT have my vote. the first presidential election hillary runs im voting for her. <P>


Benjamin when I call in.

[East Side Dave]

I already have the endorsement of Tom Arnold and Pat Morita. Plus, my dad takes Viagra. THAT....is platfrom # 2.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[East Side Dave]

Due to lack of funds I withdraw myelf from the Campaign of 2004. I've decided to have dinner instead.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[Captain Rooster]

Fin.



<CENTER><img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/AgentCOLORSIG.jpg><center>((Ring))...((Ring))
Hello?
MINDCRIME</center>

[West Side Claire]

Hmmmm, I like this platform. I really do!! Can I be your campaign manager?! I have one question though...if a person goes, say, 56 in that 35-55mph zone, will his car get zapped. And can we implement a special penalty for those who drive SUVs...? <P>

[West Side Claire]

Oh...nevermind. I guess you've resigned. Ho-hum.
See-yaaaaaaa!

[East Side Dave]

Due to the positive feedback of CJacks I have decided to get back into the Campaign of 2004.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[canofsoup15]

OMG

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/canofsoup15.gif>
The plan was mastered and called genocide
Took all the children and then we died
A few that remained were never found
All in a system,down

[East Side Dave]

I enjoy soup. And crackers. .....which brings me to Platform #3: Eating. I will insist Tom Arnold and Pat Morita are well-fed. And that they're clean.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 11-25-02 @ 10:21 PM

[Recyclerz]

After much thought, I've decided that East Side Dave is a putz. But East Side Dave, well now that guy is great. I trust that settles this matter. You're welcome. <P>
<P>

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever. :-)

[Bama]

What a typical politician. You mention the Viagra issue but don't take a stand on either side.

<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Nov/200211157635728238541242.jpg">

[DarkHippie]

its hard to stay firm on the Viagra issue

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/darkhippie.gif>
<marquee>Who is DarkHippie? "You look like an Amish child molester"-- Jim Norton. "Watch out for this one. Someday he's gonna snap and kill you all."-- Rich Vos </marquee>
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE! DON'T HUG A TREE, PLANT ONE!
</i><a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Gonads and Strife: a journal</a>

[Patches]

I've read every post in this thread and I would like my 3 minutes back. Can that be a campaign issue?

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches3.jpg>
www.silentspic.com
The Batches...are great! for me to poop on. (7-4)

[West Side Claire]

As your self-declared campaign manager, we must open up a topic for discussion; do you accept the following as your campaign slogan...

[West Side Claire]

"East-side Dave. One small step for Pez.... mmmmm, pezzy. One giant leap for mankind's modern-day dynamite infested road system."

[wilee]

I agree with Patches.

Until your platform includes a workable solution to get back the time I took to read this thread, you don't get my vote.

<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/wilee.jpg">

[Bama]

It's a sad, sad day when the electorate can't take a few minutes out of their day to hear their candidates talk about the important issues of the day.

Now about the Viagra issue, are you for it or against it? If you're for it I can't vote for you. I don't want all the old geezers hoarding in on all the punani.

<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Nov/200211157635728238541242.jpg">

[East Side Dave]

My candicacy will involve giving back FOUR minutes to everyone who has read this post. How cam I give back time you say? Free tapes of Mr. Brownstone by G'N'R. That track clocks in at about four min. As for the Viagra issue, I am for it. I feel safer as an American just knowing Bob Dole is capable to perform his manly duties on his wife. But I feel even better knowing than Don Knots has spoken openly about the wonders of Viagra. "You won't have Mr. Furley to kick around anymore."

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 11-26-02 @ 1:02 PM

[Bama]

Well I have to say that I admire your honesty.

I never really thought about poor Mr. Furley.

<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Nov/200211157635728238541242.jpg">

[East Side Dave]

Due to the fact that lunch time is coming, I must accordingly resign from my candicacy effective immediately. Though we fought the good fight, and prayed the good prayer; though we climbed oceans and swam mountains, our mortal time has come. For it was a courageous quest; not merely by me, but by those who gave their undying support and time to look at this ridiculously moronic and pointless post. And to you, I give a thousand thanks. Now I must depart this campaign. But fear not. For wherever one sees a man vomiting in public, or when a mother spanks her red-headed child for putting Star Wars figures in the microwave, or when one fails to get 200 points on their S.A.T.'s for being to hungover to put their name down, or when one starts hallucinating in Church that the organ is morphing into a giant dragon with an egg for a body, then one can think of our campaign. East Side Dave over and out....(my grilled cheese sandwich is getting cold). See ya.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

[TheMojoPin]

<img src=http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/images/

Resize these pic. They are messing up the board.

Thanks
-Rooster


<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/themojopin2.gif>
VP #2 for the Coalition of Angry Micks, and Minister of Bloody Mayhem.
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."



This message was edited by LTRooster on 11-27-02 @ 8:42 AM

[Bama]

GREATEST...THREAD...EVER (ok, maybe I'm exagerating a little)

Once again the threat of a cold meal robs us of a great leader.

<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Nov/200211157635728238541242.jpg">

[East Side Dave]

If Ross Perot can re-enter a race than why can't I? If Emmanuel Lewis can grow two centimeters than why can't I? If a chicken can fit inside a duck and a duck into a turkey, then why cannot I? If, for God's to Betsy's sake, a dolphin can mate with an aardvark and then the product of that union can give CPR to an unconscious Bee Arhtur utilizing a slinky than why cannot I?!?! Thus, effective immediately, I once again announce my candicacy for President of the United States of America. Come one come all you sick Slurpee drinking Gobots, for we shall unite and overcome in a gold and green rainbow of poo that will lead us into the promised land.......my parents' basement.

i like pez....mmmm,pezzy

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 11-28-02 @ 2:26 PM

[TheMojoPin]

Resize these pic. They are messing up the board.

Yeah, I have no idea how to do that, so I'll just confine them to the thread I started about the comic strip. Sorry 'bout that.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/themojopin2.gif>
VP #2 for the Coalition of Angry Micks, and Minister of Bloody Mayhem.
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Cybersoldier]

better hope Nadar doesn't enter the race either or you might end up working in a restaurant a hat saying hail to the cook

<IMG SRC="http://cybersoldier.iwarp.com/images/locutus1b.jpg">
WRITE YOUR LETTER TO SUPPORT RON AND FEZ TODAY!!!!!!!

John Sykes CEO

Infinity Broadcasting
1515 Broadway
51st floor
New York NY 10036

[Bama]

better hope Nadar doesn't enter the race


BAH!! Nader is too controversial. He's all about the "environment."
What about those who are against the "environment?" I'll tell ya what about them, they are SOL.

It's pretty obvious that ESD is a uniter, not a divider.

<img src="http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Nov/200211157635728238541242.jpg">

This message was edited by bamanation on 11-29-02 @ 1:44 AM

[BrianTheBailBondsman]

where do I surrender my voting card?

"Getting my 15 minutes of fame a few seconds at a time"