Getting Someone Committed!

[FUNKMAN]

Horde King,

Would you be able to give any information on getting a family member committed to a Mental Institution?

I have a brother who's 42. When he completed his 4 years in the Marines he had placed all his hope in becoming a NJ State Trooper. The first time he took the written test he passed but did not get called for the next phase and soon found out that due to "affirmative action" there were people with lower grades moving on to the next phase. He wrote his letter to the local politician and took the test again. He received a 99 and then moved onto the other phases for becoming a trooper. He passed the physical part but then failed the Review Board phase in Trenton. He said they asked him questions such as "are you in the Mafia", "does your brother have Aids", "how do you feel about woman becoming Troopers"? They knew of the letter he wrote when he was first passed over and they were looking for his type of reactions. He had an overconfident Marine attitude and his answers were short. They told him straight out that they would not want to see a gun in his hand. He was devastated and since that time has been unable to control his anger towards the State Troopers except for small time periods where he would take medication.
He has been in and out of jail on several occassions. He parked his car at a Turnpike Toll Booth and went over to two State Trooper cars and started to jump on the roofs of the cars. He called the FBI somehow and i am not sure what was said but they came to his apartment, maced him, punched him in the chest and arrested him. He has been through at least 50 jobs in the past 18 years and will do pushups and march in the middle of streets. Over the 18 years he suprisingly managed to complete 4 years of college and get his degree. But he has just lost his job again, and is speaking in a violent manner to his family and is stating that State Troopers are leaving messages on his car. He's obviously not taking his medication. We're all pretty worn out and have tried love, yelling, giving both emotional and financial support but we're at a point where I feel we should say "Fuck It", let him be and let it take it's course, wherever he leads it.

If you read through that, Thanks! And if you had any suggestions, that would be Great.

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This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 12-10-02 @ 10:17 PM

[HordeKing1]

FUNKMAN - I'll recap briefly to make sure I address everything. Your 42 year old brother scored well on the written portion of the state trooper test but didn't pass the psych evaluation. Since then he has been "unable to control his anger" when not on meds. He has been jailed several times and involved in altercations with troopers and the FBI. He cannot keep a job, but did complete college. He behaves inappropriately in social settings (doing pushups in the street). He is talking "in a violent manner to his family." You feel he is not taking his medication.

Since he was taking medicine, I'll assume they were prescribed to him by an MD. What specifically was prescribed to him? How was it to be administered to insure complience? What was the specific diagnosis given him? (I can't tell from the brief facts you've given, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and/or borderline personality disorder). Is he still under a doctor's care, or did that stop when he stoped taking his medicine?

Regardless of the answers to those questions, it seems clear that he has major problems. He has been violent in the past. He has been in jail several times. He is now making threats to your family. This is a big problem and it must be addressed, b/c the possibility of him doing actual harm is real.

I urge you or your family members to call the police (911) the very next time he does or says anything threatening and tell them what he did or said, and his violent past history. The cops will come and talk to him, and if appropriate, they'll take him to a psychiatric facility for observation. Sometimes, the person goes along willingly after talking to the cops, other times they refuse to go. If they refuse, the cops can still bring him in and have the shrinks evaluate him to determine if he should be kept for 72 hour observation. This can be done w/o consent if the docs deem him an immediate threat to himself or others.

Longer stays, against consent, involve hearings to commit the person.

Trying to commit a family member can be very difficult on an emotional level. Even though you have your relative's best interests in mind, they will not necessarily see it this way. If you decide that you do indeed want to pursue this, it would be helpful if you had other family members to help you and to support one another.

Finally, it's important to remember that everyone has their limits and that no person or people can do it all. It sounds like you've had a very difficult time with your brother, and despite all the love, attention, support, etc that you can give, there sometimes comes a point where you feel you can't do anymore. That is perfectly OK, and it's great that you recognize yourself that this is where you are.

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[Orallo]

HK,

How was it to be administered to insure complience?


Don't you mean "How was it to be administered to insure compliance?"

Double Peace & Hugs


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[FUNKMAN]

Since he was taking medicine, I'll assume they were prescribed to him by an MD. What specifically was prescribed to him?




he is under a doctor's care who works out of the VA Facility where he now lives, outside Charlotte NC. He has lived there for approx 5 years now since moving away from NJ. I have another brother and his family who live approx a mile away from him. I am not sure of the specific name of the medication.
NOTE: If this means anything?
He has never hurt anyone physically over the past 18 years. He has damaged property, the Trooper cars, and he smashed the Security Booth at a Security job he had held in the past, with a bat. I'm sure there has been other property damage as well.

I urge you or your family members to call the police (911) the very next time he does or says anything threatening


We have done this in the past and he has been in the hands of the police on several occassions but it seems he has a way of calming himself and disguising his anger while in their posession.
Not sure if this is gonna make sense but he seems to know how to tinker on the edge, he doesn't seem to take it too far where the Professionals will make a decision to Institutionalize him but he will do enough to alarm those around him such as family and co-workers and constantly lose employment. Makes us think he is being very manipulative and has a good sense of right and wrong and survival skills up to this point.

comes a point where you feel you can't do anymore.


I believe i'm near the point where I'm okay with him becoming a homeless person, sad to say. This is where I'd see him winding up if he continues to lose employment and the family, especially my Dad, cease helping him out financially. None of us are financially "well-off". Dad draws a small pension and social-security. Our eldest brother, in Indiana is "doing well" but I'm sure you'll agree, money is not the issue, it's treating his illness. But it always seems that he can find employment, not well-paying jobs but enough to cover his 425.00 rent and auto insurance.

Horde King,

Sincerely appreciate your time and information!

[HordeKing1]

FUNKMAN - There are a surprising number of people in similar circumstances. I suggest you look into a support group, specifically for relatives of people with whatever disorder your brother was diagnosed with.

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[HordeKing1]

Orallo - When posts get beyond two pages you're allowed one or two typos. But touche right back at you :)

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[FUNKMAN]

FUNKMAN - There are a surprising number of people in similar circumstances. I suggest you look into a support group, specifically for relatives of people with whatever disorder your brother was diagnosed with


Horde King,

Thanks Again!

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[angrymissy]

funkman,

I totally understand what you're going through. I am going through the same thing with my uncle. He's a herion addict and extremely psycotic, and has split my whole family apart, coniving my grandmother to move in with him, to a 1 bedroom apartment, where he makes her sleep on the couch even though she pays for everything.

He's chased me with a bat, invited addicts into my grandmothers house, attacked family members, and is a danger to society.

My cousins and I went to the police after he cornered my Grandmother in the apartment, and the police took him to be evaluated by a doctor and they let him go. He did the same thing you said your relative did, he's very very good at manipluating the docs once he's in the hospital and they always let him out within 24 hours.

The police said they can't do anything unless he actually hurts someone, and there are witnesses there to see it.

It's a very frustrating situation, I know, and I hope you can find resolution.

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[FUNKMAN]

It's a very frustrating situation, I know, and I hope you can find resolution.


AngryMissy,

Thanks! And I hope everything works out for you as well!!!

Happy/Healthy Holidays to you and yours...

Funkman

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"I can't get the shock off this mic"