Bit Idea: Oxymoronic Products [Archive]

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The Chairman

12-17-2002, 05:48 AM

OK - this one might go nowhere, but as I drink my fourth Mountain Dew of the MORNING:

Oxymoronic Products.

Like:

Caffeine Free Mountain Dew

"Just For Men" Hair Color in Grey

Manolo Blahnik Birkenstocks

Lemon Scented (and Yellow colored) Vanish Drop-Ins for the toilet bowl.

any other creative people out there?

PS - the reason I am not a millionaire right now is because my idea for the yellow colored toilet bowl tablets never took off and the patent expired. Apparently, people liked blue better...

<img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/kaga.gif>
thanks ADF for the SigPic!!
I'll take that Chesterfield now...

jocefus

12-17-2002, 06:24 AM

huggies diapers
baked fried chips

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/fake.jpg

www.mp3.com/mollydoll

I BLOW FARTS KISS MY ASS

Dewey

12-20-2002, 08:03 AM

A friend of mine had the idea of a telephone that has a light on it to show when it is ringing, so that deaf people could know when the phone is ringing.

Then they'd pick it up and say 'Hello? Hello? I guess nobody's there', and hang up.

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"> "Still searching for America."

This message was edited by Dewey on 12-20-02 @ 12:05 PM

Dewey

12-20-2002, 08:08 AM

I like your yellow lemon scented Vanish drop-ins idea. It beats my idea of brown floating lavendar scented drop-ins easily.

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"> "Still searching for America."

MHasegawa

12-20-2002, 09:37 AM

Military Intelligence

But don't take my word for it...Doot-Doo-Doot!!
<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/dkbfc.gif>

ADF

12-20-2002, 09:28 PM

Cordless extension cords

sugar-free sugar

"sweaty man" scented deodorant

crotchless g-strings.. really just a rubberband you put around your waist

<center><img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adf5a.gif>
Ce sachet d'emballage n'est pas un jouet.</center>

fnc420

12-21-2002, 10:24 AM

fat free butter
meat-less ball
rich vos' jokes

The Chairman

12-22-2002, 04:43 PM

Old English 800 Christmas Malt Liquor.

Colt 22 Malt Liquor. Instead of coming in 40 oz. bottles, it comes in 5 oz. nips. "Bucket of 22's anyone?"

Dutch Masters with 100% Natural Connecticut Shade Wrapper.

Lead Paint Finger-paints for kids.

Massengil Mentholated Douche with dual cleaning and uterine vapo-action.

Flintstones Chewable Vitamins - Rainbow Variety Pack.

If regular vitamins make your pee bright yellow, surely some genius can come up with certain ingredients that turn kids pee different colors. There can even be a "secret" one (like the secret flavor in Skittles) that kids don't know the color of until they pee.

OK - that wasn't oxymoronic. But I just thought of it and am going to patent it.

<img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/kaga.gif>
thanks ADF for the SigPic!!
I'll take that Chesterfield now...

The Chairman

12-23-2002, 11:01 PM

Low Fat Manteca

<img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/kaga.gif>
thanks ADF for the SigPic!!
I'll take that Chesterfield now...

Dewey

12-23-2002, 11:10 PM

OK, it's not Oxymoronic, but I want a product that converts man-juice into something that takes away wrinkles and firms breasts. Would make life SO much easier!

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"> "Still searching for America."

Dewey

12-23-2002, 11:13 PM

How about all-beef tofu burgers?

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"> "Still searching for America."

Dewey

12-23-2002, 11:18 PM

Books on video?

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"> "Still searching for America."

The Chairman

12-24-2002, 04:47 AM

OK, it's not Oxymoronic, but I want a product that converts man-juice into something that takes away wrinkles and firms breasts.

Didn't you see the movie Caligula? The Romans used unadulterated man juice for this 2000 years ago!

<img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/kaga.gif>
thanks ADF for the SigPic!!
slanted and enchanted...

FelixDasGato

12-24-2002, 05:18 AM

Garlic flavored breath mints
jalapeno style preparation h

<IMG SRC="http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/philex/felixmerryxmas.gif">

McGyvr89

01-04-2003, 06:38 PM

The "Billy Staples Greatest Comedy Hits" CD in stores now

This message was edited by McGyvr89 on 1-4-03 @ 10:40 PM

The Chairman

01-05-2003, 10:03 AM

"Chariman Kaga's Little Red Book of Short Posts."

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/headi.gif>
thanks ADF for the "alt" SigPic!! (c) gsheld 2001
slanted and enchanted...

rowanprofz

01-11-2003, 11:16 AM

How about the Opie and Anthony guide to FCC Regulations and Laws?

DAMN THE MAN! - Empire Records

The Chairman

01-13-2003, 11:40 AM

Signing up for AmeriDebt and paying by credit card.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/headi.gif>
thanks ADF for the "alt" SigPic!! (c) gsheld 2001
slanted and enchanted...

dassal3399

01-13-2003, 11:44 AM

Hey guys don't forget the tofu turkey for Thanksgiving.

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/dassal3399.gif>

"I'm Tony Montana...You Fuck Wit Me...You Fuck Wit The Best!!"

Shout Out To Can of Soup 15 and Toddevf for the Kick Ass Sig Pic!

LilLibra

01-13-2003, 12:00 PM

Cheap college tuition. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm in a class all by
myself... and its f*ckin' lonely."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

dassal3399

01-13-2003, 12:01 PM

Smokeless cigarettes

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/dassal3399.gif>

"I'm Tony Montana...You Fuck Wit Me...You Fuck Wit The Best!!"

Shout Out To Can of Soup 15 and Toddevf for the Kick Ass Sig Pic!

Nizuts

01-16-2003, 03:45 PM

Jumbo Shrimp?

East Side Dave

01-20-2003, 12:16 PM

Non all-nude strip clubs.