Is polyamory wrong?

[Johnathan H Christ]

18 months ago i decided to no longer have "a girlfriend" an instead decided to have sex with my roomate (convenience is key) we both decided that it was the best way. then she and i began to both take an interest in the same girl. said girl took an interest in us. so now we have a polyamorous family and are considering adding someone new. is this whole thing likely to snowball? has this happened to anyone else?

Who's love is it?...It's Drty's Luv

[Reephdweller]

how do you have time to post here with all that going on there?

also, you may very well be my god.

<IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=go2osirus">

[Patches]

If you can get one more, I'm not sure, I have to consult the Koran first, but I think you would officially have a harem!

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches3.jpg>
www.silentspic.com

<b>Osama Bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass! And I live in Rockaway. And this is my face, bitch!
-FF Mike Moran</b>

[Death Metal Moe]

What you're sellin' I ain't buyin'.

<IMG SRC=http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/njdmmoe/baconsig.jpg>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
DEATH FACTION 4 LIFE!
<A HREF="http://www.pub21.ezboard.com/bonaarmy">JOIN THE O&A ARMY!!!</A>

[ADF]

is this whole thing likely to snowball?


Only if they don't swallow.

<center><img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adf14.gif>
Ce sachet d'emballage n'est pas un jouet.</center>

[Johnathan H Christ]

thats handy kid, cause i'm not selling anything. you dont have to believe me, infact... i'm glad you dont

Who's love is it?...It's Drty's Luv

[Death Metal Moe]

Then we're both happy!!

:) :) :)
these make it all better!!

<IMG SRC=http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/njdmmoe/baconsig.jpg>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
DEATH FACTION 4 LIFE!
<A HREF="http://www.pub21.ezboard.com/bonaarmy">JOIN THE O&A ARMY!!!</A>

[Patches]

Jesus Moe! 3 smileys!?!?! Are you mad?!?! You're gonna overload the board with HAPPINESS!!!

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches3.jpg>
www.silentspic.com

<b>Osama Bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass! And I live in Rockaway. And this is my face, bitch!
-FF Mike Moran</b>

[Abrasive Dean]

Is polyamory wrong


I am glad you explained as I thought you were talking about a character from the novel Frankenstein.

The answer to your question is no. If you decide to make video tapes that would be wrong.

<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/deanmcg/sig/sig.jpg">

[Death Metal Moe]

Sorry Patches. He just makes me THAT happy!

:) :) :) :) :) DAMN IT!!

<IMG SRC=http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/njdmmoe/baconsig.jpg>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
DEATH FACTION 4 LIFE!
<A HREF="http://www.pub21.ezboard.com/bonaarmy">JOIN THE O&A ARMY!!!</A>

[reeshy]

Isn't this how Jim Jones got his start????

<IMG SRC=http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:zbswPnivt4MC:www.cnn.com/US/9811/18/jonestown.anniv.01/link.jones.jpg>
This is really me!!


This message was edited by reeshy on 1-16-03 @ 6:57 AM

[Lucento]

It depends, are you and your room mate GUYS??????

<IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/lucento.jpg">

[Lucento]

Sorry, I didnt see the "she"... Amen brother

<IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/lucento.jpg">

[TomPoo]

we have a polyamorous family and are considering adding someone new...has this happened to anyone else?


oh yeah, I'm sure everyone here has gone through this at least once or twice.

I say the more the merrier... bring in 2,3,even 4 more... at this point whats the difference???

**rolls eyes**






<IMG SRC="http://tompoo.50megs.com/images/tompsig3.jpg">




This message was edited by TomPoo on 1-16-03 @ 9:49 AM

[DarkHippie]

if it works, then there's nothing wrong with it

<IMG SRC=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/darkhippie2.gif>
<marquee>Who is DarkHippie? "You look like an Amish child molester"-- Jim Norton. "Watch out for this one. Someday he's gonna snap and kill you all."-- Rich Vos </marquee>
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE! DON'T HUG A TREE, PLANT ONE!
</i><a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Gonads and Strife: a journal</a>

[Coco]

As Ron would say "didn't I read that in Penthouse"?

I just don't understand what a woman would get out of a relationship like this, sorry - another non-believer!
______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

This message was edited by Coco on 1-16-03 @ 2:26 PM

[Johnathan H Christ]

again, not that i worry about people believeing me, i wouldnt believe it normally either, but i can assure you that if i was so pathetic as to make something like this up in the desparate hope that people i dont even really know just might believe it and think i was "cool" i would be far too busy combing my hair with a shotgun to post on this. all i really wanted was some heartfelt advice on the subject from someone with some experience in the matter. i dont intend for this to be a public opinion poll as to whether i'm talking out the side of my neck.

Who's love is it?...It's Drty's Luv

[A.J.]

If polyamory is wrong, I don't want to be right.

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/ajdcsig.jpg">

A Skidmark production.

[Coco]

i would be far too busy combing my hair with a shotgun to post on this


I tell you what, instead of posting, get yourself some help brother.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

This message was edited by Coco on 1-16-03 @ 2:55 PM

[TomPoo]

again, not that i worry about people believeing me, i wouldnt believe it normally either, but i can assure you that if i was so pathetic as to make something like this up in the desparate hope that people i dont even really know just might believe it and think i was "cool" i would be far too busy combing my hair with a shotgun to post on this. all i really wanted was some heartfelt advice on the subject from someone with some experience in the matter. i dont intend for this to be a public opinion poll as to whether i'm talking out the side of my neck.




drtyluv,

its not that we don't believe you, its that we have no reason to believe you.

Your new to the board, and people are just getting to know you, and one of your first threads is about living and banging two girls and hopefully adding a third.

a little much isn't it???

I am not going to give you "Message Board 101" lesson, but I have read this and a few other of your posts since you joined, and the reactions your getting.

We want to get to know you, and we would love to hear all about your "harem" ... but dude, baby steps.

take your time getting to know us, and we will slowly get to know you too... and when you get the advice your looking for, it will be from friends that care about you.

but right now, the only advice your going to get is

"what the fuck... 3 girls!?!?? share the wealth nigga!!!!"

<IMG SRC="http://tompoo.50megs.com/images/tompsig3.jpg">

[Johnathan H Christ]

i can take that. you have a valid point. much apperciated. i just dont have much to do today till i go to work, so im stuck entertaining myself.

Who's love is it?...It's Drty's Luv

[Death Metal Moe]

I say it's not a good idea. OK?

Was that Heartfelt enough for ya?

SOMEONE'S gonna end up with hurt feelings or just feeling weird. MARK MY WORDS.

<IMG SRC=http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/njdmmoe/baconsig.jpg>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
DEATH FACTION 4 LIFE!
<A HREF="http://www.pub21.ezboard.com/bonaarmy">JOIN THE O&A ARMY!!!</A>

[golfcourseguy]

Joe Smith,Brigham Young,Drty Luv; a new leader for the new millenium.



"Editing Posts Since Day One"

[East Side Dave]

Is Polly-O string cheese wrong? Because I've been addicted to them and slurpees for two years now.

pez...

[Patches]

SOMEONE'S gonna end up with hurt feelings or just feeling weird. MARK MY WORDS.


Bah. Feelings, Schmeelings. If this guy manages to get three stupid bitches in his bed, you can be damn sure it won't be his feelings hurt. And its pretty obvious these girls are little sluts, so who gives a shit about feelings?

Where's the evil Moe, where's the evil?

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches3.jpg>
www.silentspic.com

<b>Osama Bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass! And I live in Rockaway. And this is my face, bitch!
-FF Mike Moran</b>

[Death Metal Moe]

The EVIL WAS supposed to be my remarks MAYBE making him break it off with 3 chicks.

Thanks for throwing a NICE wrench in my EVIL works Patches.

<IMG SRC=http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/njdmmoe/baconsig.jpg>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
DEATH FACTION 4 LIFE!
<A HREF="http://www.pub21.ezboard.com/bonaarmy">JOIN THE O&A ARMY!!!</A>

[fiestygal]

sounds like REAL SEX 20...the one with all the old men junk and women with titties down to the floor

<IMG SRC="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/fiestysig1.jpg">
THANX TENBATSUZEN!!

[Patches]

Uh. I suck. I gotta learn to look at the big picture. The BIG EVIL PICTURE!

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/patches3.jpg>
www.silentspic.com

<b>Osama Bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass! And I live in Rockaway. And this is my face, bitch!
-FF Mike Moran</b>

[Reephdweller]

sounds like REAL SEX 20...the one with all the old men junk and women with titties down to the floor


damn kid...now you got me all horny again! :-)

<IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=go2osirus">

[Coco]

Bah. Feelings, Schmeelings. If this guy manages to get three stupid bitches in his bed, you can be damn sure it won't be his feelings hurt. And its pretty obvious these girls are little sluts, so who gives a shit about feelings?


I guess I just never got what a woman would get out of a relationship like this (unless there was money involved).

If you really truly love someone, why would you want another woman sleeping with him?


______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

[Miss Dolores Haze]

I have to move out

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/Astraea006/sigpic.jpg">
"You see, she had absolutely nowhere else to go."
Killing rabbits since 2002

[DarkHippie]

If you really truly love someone, why would you want another woman sleeping with him?
because love transcends possesion. Me and my girlfriend have been in an open (polyamourous) relationship for almost 3 years. She lives about 5 housrs away, so I don't often get to see her, but it doesn't mean that I don't love her. We both know that we see other people, and its ok. it doesn't diminish our love for each other. we are nobody's possession

<IMG SRC=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/darkhippie2.gif>
<marquee>Who is DarkHippie? "You look like an Amish child molester"-- Jim Norton. "Watch out for this one. Someday he's gonna snap and kill you all."-- Rich Vos </marquee>
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE! DON'T HUG A TREE, PLANT ONE!
</i><a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Gonads and Strife: a journal</a>

[Coco]

because love transcends possesion. Me and my girlfriend have been in an open (polyamourous) relationship for almost 3 years. She lives about 5 housrs away, so I don't often get to see her, but it doesn't mean that I don't love her.


Dark Hippie: Best wishes to you in keeping this relationship. Just hope she doesn't fall in love with another guy though.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

[DarkHippie]

I'm very unworried about that. It's the chicks I worry about ;)

<IMG SRC=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/darkhippie2.gif>
<marquee>Who is DarkHippie? "You look like an Amish child molester"-- Jim Norton. "Watch out for this one. Someday he's gonna snap and kill you all."-- Rich Vos </marquee>
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE! DON'T HUG A TREE, PLANT ONE!
</i><a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Gonads and Strife: a journal</a>

[Johnathan H Christ]

if the girl is going to be happier with someone else, then why would you want to stand in the way of that. you wouldn't, not if you care about her. but the main idea here is that she mostlikely wouldn't run off to be with anyone else for good, otherwise she wouldn't be down with polyamory to begin with... she would want her man and only him. i still see my ex when i can, and everyone knows about the eachother, infact they're friends as well. distance complicates things and in a committed relationship it causes alot of longing and pain. having other people to be close to helps to aleviate that constant longing that can really eat away at your soul.

If polyamory is wrong... i don't want to be right.

[Coco]

if the girl is going to be happier with someone else, then why would you want to stand in the way of that.
I am not sure you even have a choice really anyway. Normally she'd be gone with the other guy, basically whether you liked it or not.

Sorry DrtyLuv, but the rest of your post makes no sense whatsoever. Maybe a grasp on reality is in order here.

______________________

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive



This message was edited by Coco on 1-17-03 @ 3:41 PM

[BrianTheBailBondsman]

polyamory
well it depends where you use it.. now on the dash board i use Aromor-All but it tends to collect duse on darker surfaces.

"Getting my 15 minutes of fame a few seconds at a time"
Please Visit me at: <A HREF="http://aaabailpros.com"</A> AAABAILPROS.COM(my Company)<br> <A HREF="http://www.freewebz.com/bailgram/index.htm"</A>BAILGRAM.COM(a Nationwide Service)

[Johnathan H Christ]

trust me.. a firm grip on reality is the last thing i need. i much prefer to live in my f'd up little world. i guess i was trying to reply to to many posts at once. long story short... i'm just really glad that i have the people that i do, cause they make me happy even during the rare times when i cant do it myself. its been a long night of delivering food to toothless indigent welfare collecting bastards who dont tip, and when the do its a dollar. (the boy takes an opportunity to vent) i just sometimes want to rip the dental work out of these people as i firmly explain to them that they arent at a cheap assed titty bar and 20% of $25.00 is not $.65 and come to think of it.... if they're so broke that they cant tip (or move out of the shanty town urine soaked ghetto that they live in) then maybe they should buy some f-ing hot dogs, and save up some money to improve their living conditions. i pay my rent. i go to school (which i pay for) and when i go out or order in....I TIP. ahhh.... thats better. sorry to take up so much space with my bad vibes. but now i can relax and be happy. i can sit on my ass and have a big ol snifter of remy martinXO, smoke a cigarette and wait for the girlface to get home and snuggle with me.

If polyamory is wrong... i don't want to be right.

[Adamo]

I understand how old this thread is, but it's the top Google search result for "Is polyamory wrong?" I'd like to add in a different opinion for those clicking over here from Google and reading this thread. I'm a polyamorous woman with 2 men.

It seems like some of the people in the thread are mistaking polyamory for swinging. To make things more clear, here is the official definition of polyamory:
"The two essential ingredients of the concept of 'polyamory' are 'more than one' and 'loving.' That is, it is expected that the people in such relationships have a loving emotional bond, are involved in each other's lives multi-dimensionally, and care for each other. This term is not intended to apply to merely casual recreational sex, anonymous orgies, one-night stands, pick-ups, prostitution, 'cheating', serial monogamy, or the popular definition of swinging as 'mate-swapping' parties."

- Morning Glory Zell (coined the term in 1990)

I'm in love with my 5-year boyfriend. He's in love with me and his 4-year girlfriend; she and I are just platonic friends. I'm in love with my 3-year boyfriend; he has been dating my other boyfriend for 4 months now. We 4 have happily lived together for 2 years so far.

Edit: Think of a triangle with one line coming off of a point, with the points being people and the lines being romantic connections.

I'm content and have no extra time for a 3rd in my life, but I do know people with more than 2 partners who have made it work. I've met many other people who live happy polyamorous lives in every confusing relationship dynamic you can think of. As long as the individual is willing to take the time and effort to be involved with multiple people, it can work out.

bring in 2,3,even 4 more... at this point whats the difference???Each partner is unique and irreplaceable. You wouldn't go up to a mother of 3 who just lost a child and say, "It's cool! You have 2 more."

I just don't understand what a woman would get out of a relationship like this, sorry - another non-believer!Everything she'd get out of a monogamous relationship, except with multiple people. I have love and support coming from 3 people instead of 1. My boyfriend's girlfriend isn't my enemy - she's my friend. I love seeing them together because I love seeing both of them happy.

SOMEONE'S gonna end up with hurt feelings or just feeling weird. MARK MY WORDS.Jealousy is the result of an underlying fear or insecurity. We believe in fixing the problem at the source instead of covering it up by making restrictions. For example, a fear could be, "He'll leave me if he falls in love with her." Instead of banning him from seeing her, I can talk it out with him and figure out why I feel like he'd leave me. Getting rid of her wouldn't solve my fear.

Our group hasn't really had all that much trouble with jealousy, but when it has cropped up, we made sure to figure out why those feelings were present and then get rid of them. We don't normally feel jealousy and we don't feel weird.

I am not sure you even have a choice really anyway. Normally she'd be gone with the other guy, basically whether you liked it or not.If I feel like my boyfriend isn't giving me enough time and attention, I'd tell him so and he'd fix that to make me happy. Some people would like more time together than others. I know if I don't get my alone time I go crazy. That's a big reason why we all have separate bedrooms even though we normally don't sleep separately.

i'm just really glad that i have the people that i do, cause they make me happy even during the rare times when i cant do it myself.Exactly. Polyamory isn't wrong at all.

[TomS59]

Those females are whores you know

[SatCam]

I'm in love with my 5-year boyfriend. He's in love with me and his 4-year girlfriend; she and I are just platonic friends. I'm in love with my 3-year boyfriend; he has been dating my other boyfriend for 4 months now. We 4 have happily lived together for 2 years so far.


that's like a love hexagon

[Kris10]

This is way to complicated for me to even give a fuck

[Drunky McBetidont]

i wonder how many friendship requests she gets?

i am assuming adamo is a chickm but reading it again, i am not so sure.

[cougarjake13]

said she was a woman so i guess we have that

[KatPw]

I know a few people in polyamorous relationships. Their relationships are no different than any other couple, except for the fact that there are more people involved. It takes a lot of work and communication. What consenting adults do in their bedroom is no business of mine.

[TripleSkeet]

again, not that i worry about people believeing me, i wouldnt believe it normally either, but i can assure you that if i was so pathetic as to make something like this up in the desparate hope that people i dont even really know just might believe it and think i was "cool" i would be far too busy combing my hair with a shotgun to post on this. all i really wanted was some heartfelt advice on the subject from someone with some experience in the matter. i dont intend for this to be a public opinion poll as to whether i'm talking out the side of my neck.

Who's love is it?...It's Drty's Luv

Bullshit. You wanted to brag......as so you should. Congrats you lucky fuck.

[sr71blackbird]

Can anyone who finds themselves in such a relationship honestly think it is normal and healthy? Get out of it and live like everyone else does!

[boosterp]

This is way to complicated for me to even give a fuck

Agreed. I need much more beer to understand this craziness.

[~Katja~]

i wonder how many friendship requests she gets?

i am assuming adamo is a chickm but reading it again, i am not so sure.

the name ends with an O, I am pretty sure that makes it a male name

[Foster]

I'm a polyamorous woman with 2 men.

.

the name ends with an O, I am pretty sure that makes it a male name

I think you're wrong

[~Katja~]

I think you're wrong
this is .net... I did not read the post... it was too long

[Foster]

this is .net... I did not read the post... it was too long

either did I, but I still caught that part

[~Katja~]

either did I, but I still caught that part
the name is still male, the poster just happens to be female

[Foster]

the name is still male, the poster just happens to be female

wow... you don't like being wrong do you

[Death Metal Moe]

Wow, Deja Vu.

My feelings havent really changed since this thread, I'll just respond with less jokes. I think it's fine to have whatever kinds of relationships you want with other adults. I just think there is more room for jealousy and other negative emotions to pop up. It's not like most 2 person relationships stay together either, I just feel you compound any possible problematic scenarios the more people you add to the mix.

If it doesn't and everyone is happy, who am I to judge? Good for you, and I mean that. No sarcasm, find happiness however you want in this life.

[~Katja~]

wow... you don't like being wrong do you
I am never wrong... so I don't know what it's like to not like it ;)

[grlNIN]

I can't wait for season 4 of Big Love.

[Foster]

I am never wrong... so I don't know what it's like to not like it ;)

just finish your damn wine and go to bed

[~Katja~]

just finish your damn wine and go to bed
hahaha... not finishing the bottle but my bedtime is near.
Good night lovers!

[brettmojo]

A guy I went to high school with has the same thing with two girls. They've been together since college probably about 5-6 years now. That's not what amazes me about it. He's white, the chicks are black and Puerto rican. Crazy. They vacation and everything.

[One Dead Fred]

I had a relationship with 3 girls who all knew and occasionally shared the same bed for about 2 years until I got divorced. The 2nd one went psycho a few months later. I've been with the 3rd one for over 5 years. It's not wrong, just not the norm and not as accepted by the rest of society. But who gives a good bowel movement if you are all happy and in to it!

[K.C.]

No it's not wrong.

The better question is if people are actually emotionally and psychologically capable of true polyamory.