Overcoming Nervousness

[fluffernutter]

I always have the problem when I go to meet a new friend, a radio personality or even just the person at the counter at the record store. If I am not familiar with the person, I get so nerved out my heart pounds and I fear stuttering really really bad.

Like today for instance, I went to see these two radio personalities from a Philadelphia Sports station who were doing their broadcast from a local eating establishment. I had a McNabb McFarlane figure and two framed cartoon renderings of each of them and went to give it to them. I was all a flutter and afraid of the situation and I wonder why. They are regular guys and very down to earth and I wonder if it is just something wrong with me or if there is medication or something. It is really bothering me.

I had this other situation where I was about to approach Rollins and I stuttered and lost my train of thought and probably looked like a real ass. I get this way when I approach guys in band after the show to tell them they had a good set or have been influential.

Is the reason that most times it is because I look up to said person or persons in some way? This has a lot to do with why I hardly ever go out and approach new situations. I don't know if it is self-esteem, self-doubt....UGH! I don't think there is really anything wrong with me and am always told I am incredibly nice and fun to be around. I just fear being forever "socially retarded" to the point where new people and situations just scare the hell out of me.

HordeKing, is there some kind of terminology for this? Do I need meds? I look forward to seeing what you or anyone else may have to share about this. Thanks all.

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[Thebazile78]

Is the reason that most times it is because I look up to said person or persons in some way?

Possibly.

When I met Ron for the first time, at Night of Frights, all I could say was "oh my god" and I wanted to say so much more than that, like "thank you for doing what you did for my brother" and something witty and intelligent. But no. All I could manage was "oh my god".

I'm STILL starstruck. I respect and admire the boys so much that I get tongue tied.

I also got tongue-tied when I met Gerry Doyle and Erin Grey at the SciFi convention. The admiration is one part of it. The other part is that I am SHY.

:)

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[HordeKing1]

FLUFFENUTTER - The term you're looking for is "social anxiety."

Many people have it to one degree or another. Some get a general nervous feeling when they have to go out in public or speak publically, or meet new people. Some sweat, have cold, clammy hands, heart palpatations, rapid pulse, difficulty breathing and other symptoms. In extreme cases, the social situation that produces the anxiety is avoided altogether.

You're going to the events that produce the anxiety, which is good. The anxiety is not paralyzing you. It is making you uncomfortable.

Anxiety is probably the most common reason people seek therapy (even more than depression). It is usually successful and drugs need not be involved.

Sometimes, a full course of anti anxiety drugs are needed. More often short term, short acting drugs (like Kolonopin) are prescribed, when drugs are prescribed at all).





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[Death Metal Moe]

went to see these two radio personalities from a Philadelphia Sports station


WHAT?!?! You're CHEATING on our Buddays?!?!

Hang your head in shame. Nervous shame.

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[fluffernutter]

WHAT?!?! You're CHEATING on our Buddays?!?!


Heaven's NO! Philly don't have much to offer in the middays. The station carries me ALL the way out to Harrisburg and down to Baltimore. Ron and Fez MOST definitely have my nights! The afternoon drive is posing a problem though. I feel so empty.

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This message was edited by fluffernutter on 1-17-03 @ 1:44 AM

[Bob Impact]

The Nerves isn't the problem the pants wetting is a problem.

Maybe it's cause you used to be cool with me and you're not anymore. Bastard.

HAH!

Seriously though Mrs. Impact is just like this, I defer to the illustrious Horde Kings response and refuse to try and answer this as I will just make a fool of myself.

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This message was edited by Bob Impact on 1-17-03 @ 1:44 AM

[fluffernutter]

Thanks HK, I appreciate it.

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This message was edited by fluffernutter on 1-17-03 @ 2:03 AM

[fluffernutter]

Yeah so I am below my own thread but ah, whatthe hell?

I have been considering going to see a shrink about this and seeing if ANYTHING just talking to someone in the flesh about this may help and maybe if there is any meds to help ease things. I try like hell to keep myself under control in these situations but it really has been going on for too long. Like who the hell are these people that I am fans of and would like to meet? They are people. Human beings like you or me and 9 times out of 10, down to earth. The Rollins thing really screwed me up because I was SO intimidated. That was years ago on the Weight tour. Is psychiatry fall under the medical insurance so I wouldn't be paying thorough the nose? Do they charge through the nose? I am glad to be able to bring things like this my fellow boardmates because I do finally feel comfortable around here. It makes things warm inside. Feel free to share if anyone else has this going on too. Thanks again for any advice given.

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[TheKnicks23]

I too am a nervous freak. The stupidest things will make my sweat my ass off.

And it seems to be getting a lot worse. It keeps me from doing so many things that I think I'll be too nervous about. Try out for a sports team? No I'll be to nervous to play. Ask this girl out? No I'll be too nervous.

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I'm speechless, I'm without speech</font>

[DC Reed]

Yah fluff, before i did Drama stuff, i was pretty anti-social, and nervous about alot of stuff. Although im still pretty nervous around chicks and all, im doing much better.

Now im completely comfortable with standing infront of a large crowd and acting like a jackass on stage, let alone im completely comfortable with meeting other ppl who are of higher "status".

My brother told me that he thought that the fact I call into RnF and that my voice would be heard in NY and DC would scare him shitless, but thought that it was pretty damn cool i could do it.

Its something that i think either comes naturally or can be worked on. Easiest way to not be all nervous is to just walk out and feel like your better than them, so that way your not intimidated by them


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[Arienette]

i think i've told this story on the board before, but i'll tell it again...

i had gone to see stephen lynch with a couple of friends a few years back. i think he's great, and i also had a bit of a crush on him. i wanted to try to get a picute with him after. as we were leaving the club, he was just standing at the front with his little crew or whatever. my friend convinced me that this was my shot to get the picture, and so he dragged me over there even though i was so nervous. my friend went up to stephen and told him that i was a big fan and would like to take a picture. he was really nice, and we took the picture, and then he started talking to me. he was obviously just trying to make small talk, and he asked something like whether i had enjoyed the show. i ended up telling him that it was great, and that i'd seen him open for jay mohr the week before and that he was great there, and about how i'd seen him another time, and he was great then, too. so he said something about how i must be a fan or something, and i (like an idiot) go, "yeah, i follow you around". i think he got a little scared, and i cant really say that i blame him. ugh i'm such a moron

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[Reephdweller]

I tend to tense up when I meet celebrities too, though I've learned a little trick where I just keep telling myself "who are they really?", like someone else said they're just people like you and me. And they probably get tired of being fawned over. I just act like their normal people, they seem to relax and you can talk to them for while.

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[HordeKing1]

If your anxiety problem is limited to encounters with celebrities, it would seem to be relatively minor. After all, how often do you meet celebrities?

Our society idolizes celebrities to a ridiculous extent. Being famous doesn't make one a good or nice person or a smart person, yet we venerate these people above all else. Because of this, many tend to feel anxious when encountering these people.

If the problem extends beyond celebrities to other social situations, therapy and/or medication may be indicated.

Fluffenutter - Most insurance plans cover at least some type of therapy. (Often there is a maximum number of visits, or they only cover a certain percentage.) If money is an issue, most therapists will work with you so that you can get the treatment needed.


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[Death Metal Moe]

OK Fluffernutter. You're nervous? Just remember this.

As you walk into a room, just keep remiding yourself that YOU are the most important person to EVER walk the Earth.
As you talk to people, remember this. It's a PRIVELEDGE for them to talk to YOU! You're actually throwing them a bone.

Just keep telling yourself that and it will work.

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[fluffernutter]

Thanks Moe. <P>
I have done that a few times and it has worked. It all depends on how I feel that day or if there has been something getting in my way. Normally, I never think of myself as better than anyone else but I like to keep myself grounded. I sometimes even walk into situations of meeting new people and find no one interesting too which always bums me out. This has been incredibly theraputic for me as well as helpful too. <P>
After the stream of stupidity on some topics tonight maybe I can also think that rooms are filled with the emptiness of some of them rather than the company of someone who matters. I will get over this soon enough. <P>

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[McNabbShouldDie]

Dont be afraid of new people. What you need to do is bite your finger, scream real loud and run right up to the person and introduce yourself. Sometimes that works for me.

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[Death Metal Moe]

I sometimes even walk into situations of meeting new people and find no one interesting too which always bums me out.


HA! Joni the club! Most people are Horrible BORES! But when you discover that you've entered a room full of Steven Segals, THAT'S when you begin to entertain yourself with awkward conversations that go nowhere!

I'm laughing just thinking about it!

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[reeshy]

And sometimes a bottle of scotch and a few valiums don't hurt, either!!

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[ChickenHawk]

Just imagine everyone in a
chicken suit. Mmmmm....

But seriously, what Moe said is
very true. As long as you know
that you're genuinely a good
person that people enjoy being
around, just convince yourself
that you're doing these people a
favor by talking to them. They're
probably just as scared as you, if
not more. Generally everyone's
the same in social situations.
There's loudmouths who are the
center of attention, there's the
people that just go with the flow,
and there's the people who are
silent and just smile and nod.
Whichever one of these makes
you most comfotable, go with.
Just remember that you are a
sexy motherfucker and everyone
wants to get in your pants. Also,
you're smarter than everyone
else. They don't know shit. No
one knows shit, cuz you're super
cool.


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"Just back 'n jack." -Ron

[Abrasive Dean]

I was once given the absurd, coarse but surprisingly effective way of handling this sort of situation.

Just imagine them sat on the lavatory with their underwear round their ankles.

Nervousness dissapears for me except one time when I met Sarah Ferguson who was such a cow I could have strangled her....

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