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angrymissy
02-05-2003, 09:55 AM
I'm having a lot of trouble with my manager (basically he's an asshole). I sent this letter off to my HR person today, any constructive critism and advice would be appreciated - ill probably be meeting with them next week to discuss the situation.


I'm having a few concerns with my position. I would appreciate this email will be kept confidential and not discussed with my manager without my prior approval.

I have been facing some health issues in the past year, along with family issues, that have caused me to miss work more often than usual. I have tried to explain my issues with my manager *******, but he is almost never available, and seems to not understand why I am out so often.

In the past year, I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I have been seeing a doctor and improving slightly, but some days it can be a challenge just to get into work. I have been trying my best to overcome the depression, but it's rather hard, and I face additional anxiety every time I fall ill and have to call into work, as I am criticized almost every time I take a sick day. On top of the depression and anxiety, I have chronic stomach ulcers and kidney infections, and had Lyme's disease a few years ago, and ever since, my immune system has been weakened. I find myself falling ill more times during the year than I used to. The problem is, from what I can gleam from discussing my time out with *******, is that he thinks I am taking unnecessary time off. In the past, I've been told that "the sick days are getting out of hand", even though I've told them I can provide doctor's notes. I just wanted to make it clear, that when I take a sick day, it is because I am literally too sick to get out of bed. I actually come to work on a regular basis while I am sick. He seems to think that I have control over when I am too sick to come into work, but unfortunately I don't.

My Grandfather was also recently diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. I am the family member who has been designated to help him make all medical and financial decisions, so occasionally when he falls ill, I have to take time off to see him upstate (a 3 hour drive). This does not happen regularly, but maybe once every 2 months.

I just wanted to put all of these issues out there; as I'm sure they are affecting the way my manager views me.

I am uncomfortable with some of the methods that are used to manage me. When I first started at MYWORK, I had a different manager (******* *******), whom I worked incredibly well with. My manager was switched to ******* over 6 months ago, and that is when my job performance issues started. When I am out of the office, ******* will regularly go though everything on top of and in my desk. This makes me feel uncomfortable, as I keep medication and other personal effects in my desk, and it also makes me feel like he doesn't trust me to do my work. He will look for anything on my desk that could possibly be unfinished, and then leave me voicemails accusing me of not completing work on time. There is always a legitimate reason why uncompleted work is on my desk (waiting for receipts to complete expense reports, waiting for additional information to submit check requests, etc.). I feel like I always have to be defensive because ******* regularly asks for me to account for my work in an accusatory fashion, even though there has been no evidence of me doing anything legitimately wrong. One integral part of being an Administrative Assistant is being able to work independently. I pride myself on this, and find it disheartening that my work is constantly being gone through without my knowledge whenever I am away from my desk.

On a few occasions, he has also come over to my cube and berated me for poor job performance in front of everyone else in my area. This is very difficult for me to face, due to my anxiety condition. It can literally make me want to run out of the building. When my past manager had a question regarding anything involving my job, he would always call me into his office and clo

GaryWyze
02-05-2003, 10:15 AM
<font color=purple>It's a little long, and starts to sound as if you're venting more than making your case at some points.

But that neither here nor there. One suggestion I would make is that you note how you've come to consider your manager's behavior to be extremely detrimental to your previously mentioned and medically diagnosed health problems, and how your doctor's have observed and documented a worsening of your condition(s) as a direct result.

This should get the message across that a) something best be done about it, or b) you have legal recourse should that something include firing you.

Good luck.

DarkHippie
02-05-2003, 10:23 AM
I would try to edit it down a little bit. The first half is very good, the second half doesn't feel as strong.

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DJEvelEd
02-05-2003, 10:27 AM
I think you're on the right track. Most successful people I know send letters AND follow it up with a phone call.

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angrymissy
02-05-2003, 10:34 AM
I really suck at writing letters like that - that was after a week of editing.

HR at my company is huge and they live for this type of shit, so I will be following up with a phone call and probably a meeting.

I hate even sitting at my cube at the moment, my manager is so bad. blech.

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This message was edited by angrymissy on 2-5-03 @ 2:36 PM

DarkHippie
02-05-2003, 10:39 AM
the next to last paragraph is unnecessary for a start

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Starling
02-05-2003, 10:51 AM
OK, please don't take this the wrong way, because I don't mean to imply that you're doing anything wrong - that said - consider being your manager. I don't know how much time you've taken off in the last 6 months, but if you look at it from his point of view, it's very hard when you have an employee that's out a lot, especially if that person is critical to day to day operations (vs someone who is in sales or working on long term projects for example).
If you have a meeting with HR, something else you might want to focus on is how, despite being out more than normal and having a lot of personal stuff going on, you're still getting everything done and getting it done well.
I give you a lot of credit for taking the initiative to resolve this. I would just try to focus on the good things you're doing, how you're still effective etc. during this tough time. Maybe try and come up with some ideas of how you could address your managers concerns regarding stuff not getting done etc. Just my two cents. I hope everything works out for you.

Recyclerz
02-05-2003, 11:06 AM
Angrymissy <P> I've worked in the belly of the corporate beast for about 17 years now, so here is my 2 cents. Your letter is pretty good (I'm assuming you sent it already) but there are a couple of areas you should focus on in future communications with the company. <P> With the medical/family issues and the absenteeism, they may encourage you to take unpaid leave under the Family/Medical Leave Act. Although it gives you a hit in the cash, it does create a record that a court will look at if you take it that far. <P> Perhaps the most important thing to remember that the HR Dept. isn't really there to be an impartial judge to settle these kinds of disputes fairly; they may try to, but bottom line, they are there to make sure you're not paid too much and to try to keep the company from being sued (and if they are sued that they don't lose). NY has something called at-will employment, which basically means the company doesn't owe you job security. I'm assuming you're female, under 40 and not a minority. The female part is the only one that gives you additional legal leverage. <P> When you talk to HR, be sure to bring up the instances where your manager yells at you in public (witnesses are good:-) ) and drop the term hostile work environment . This is a buzz term that will get their attention. (Actually it is what Al Dukes was threatening when he was whining after Billy Staples crapped on his check.) It will force them to push your manager to let up a little for fear of getting a lawsuit. <P> Good luck. I hope things work out for you. <P> <P> <P> <P> <P>

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Doogie
02-05-2003, 11:07 AM
Ok cut out the last part of your letter, it is too wordy and hurts the other part of your letter. Also there is a part there about you being on the verge of a breakdown and running out...cut that out. It is unecessary. Emphasize how much stress he is causing you, but dont give specific details. This will lead to management having to address the issue.

Also I would recommend cutting out the parts about the one manager and the other. The company may see this as just a difference in approaches between employee and employer. Keep the emphasis on the source of the complaint, not divert attention away to an old supervisor. Remember, you are letting them know HE is the prick. Not reminding them of a worker shipped off elsewhere.

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angrymissy
02-05-2003, 11:15 AM
My old boss is still here! they just "reorganized" so now he reports to my new boss.

I've taken maybe 1 sick day a month for the past 6 months (there was once I had to miss 2 days in a row), and 2 personal days in that time. I do manage to keep up with all of the work even though I'm out.

Actually, my work offers short term disability for depression, so I'm hoping this is what HR suggests. 90 days at 90% pay - pleease.

I specifically had to make the letter long, I spoke to the woman from HR on the phone briefly and she told me to put EVERYTHING in. I probably got a little carried away ;).

Thanks for the input... I'm going to keep it all in mind when I meet in person with HR. The "hostile work enviornment" is the key... that is actually what is happening and it bothers me.

PS - my boss is an indian and wears a towel so i can at least laugh at that throughout the day because im mean like that

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This message was edited by angrymissy on 2-5-03 @ 3:20 PM

hyperspace
02-05-2003, 12:07 PM
im still turned on by your "my feet stink" thread.

A.J.
02-05-2003, 12:13 PM
PS - my boss is an indian and wears a towel so i can at least laugh at that throughout the day because im mean like that

Does he keep a spare in his desk that you could use as toilet paper? THAT would be mean!

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HordeKing1
02-05-2003, 04:54 PM
Since you've already sent the letter to the HR department we should focus on how to handle the meeting with them next week.

1. Some of the problems are based on absences due to medical conditions. Get your doctors to write up a report documenting your conditions (and that it necessitated your missing work from time to time.) Bring the medical/psychological reports with you to the meeting. That way you'll have medical evidence of disability and illness and they cannot attack you on this issue. If they do, it's discrimination and you may have grounds to file a lawsuit. They have an obligations under the Americans with Disability Act to make reasonable accommodations to you, and that includes giving you time to go to doctors, taking reasonable time off for issues related to your disability and so on.

2. If possible, write up a list of dates and times that you tried to discuss these things with your manager and his responses (or lack thereof). Include in the list all the dates and times you tried to talk to him but he was missing in action.

3. Point out that based on your documented evidence of various disabilities and medical conditions and your numerous attempts to discuss the issue with your manager, his continued refusal to show even basic courtesy creates a discriminatory and hostile working environment.

4. If you have received evaluations from your prior manager, bring them to HR. If not, tell they that your performance was always considered satisfactory until this particular manager came to your department. You don't have a problem with him, BUT it is apparent that he has a problem to you.

5. He routinely goes through your personal belongings, including medications for unknown reasons. I wonder if the fact that you're female has anything to do with this. (Can never hurt to mention this - possible sexual issues here?)

6. Your manager has a very hostile attitude towards you, and has never spoken to you in anything other than an accusatory fashion. You know he is your boss and feel intimidated by him. Perhaps this is what he is hoping to achieve.

7. Finally, when he feels like criticizing you, even though it's without merit, it's especially rude and hurtful of him to berate you in front of all the people you work with. Even though the criticism is without merit, it is still hurtful.

8. On the few occasions where you have made a small error, such as a typographical error (bring an example if you can), the public criticism is done in a way to belittle you and is out of proportion to his outburst.

9. You enjoy your job very much. You see a future with this company. However, this manager is doing his best to alienate you. He even obstructs you from attending training sessions.

10. The ideal solution is to replace him with someone who has a much clearer idea of how to be a manager. However, you're open to suggestions from the HR department.

11. Finally, ask your old manager if he'd bear witness for your professional ability if called upon to do so.

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