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A Fez Children's Story From the Past [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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The Chairman
02-11-2003, 11:45 AM
FEZ AND THE ANCHOVETA HARVEST

BY CHAIRMAN KAGA

Page 1
Text: Fez is a little boy who lives on an island off of Peru.
Picture: Picture of Fez living on an island off of Peru.
Page 2
Text: Fez is not a traditional Peruvian name. Fez's mother thought about naming him Manuel and then calling him Manolo as a nickname, but she finally decided to call him Fez.
Picture: Picture of Fez looking like he is happy to have Fez as a name and not Manuel.
Page 3
Text: Most of the men who live on Fez's Island are fishermen. But Fez's father works for Burlington Coat Factory as their head of Latin American Sales. Burlington Coat Factory is not affiliated with Burlington Industries.
Picture: Picture of several fishermen and Fez's dad, who wears a suit and looks like a man who works as a salesman.
Page 4
Text: Fez's Mom is very smart. Even though she only has the equivalent of a 7th grade education, she knows things like Celt is really pronounced like "Kelt". So when she watches basketball on Televiso Peruana, she always cheers "Go Boston Keltics", not "Celtics" like the other Peruvian mothers.
Picture: Picture of Fez's mother watching basketball on TV and saying "Go Boston Keltics."
Page 5
Text: Fez's Island is famous for two industries, fertilizer and fishing. Much of Peru's GDP is dependent on exports of these two products. When the Inti was devaluated and then pegged to the US Dollar, these two industries managed to help Peru overcome hyperinflation.
Picture: Picture of the 100 Inti note with a bar graph by Edward Tufte showing Peru's hyperinflation from 1990-2000.
Page 6
Text: Fez's Island is rich in fertilizer because of all the birds that nest on it. The birds are attracted to the island because the waters surrounding the island are wintering grounds for the Peruvian anchoveta.
Picture: Picture of many birds who may have just eaten several Peruvian anchovetas.
Page 7
Text: The bird droppings are called guano. The guano is rich in nitrogen and used in fertilizer. People who live on Fez's Island often leave their windows closed, because guano has an unpleasant smell.
Picture: Picture of people with their windows closed. They do not have a happy look on their faces, but they don't look sad either.
Page 8
Text: Anchovetas are called anchovies is the United States. Fez knows this because his father makes frequent trips to Burlington, Vermont, where the headquarters of his father's company is located. Fez's father often orders pizza for lunch, and some people put anchovies on it. He also like Oreos but not on pizza.
Picture: Picture of a pizza with anchovies on it.
Page 9
Text: The anchovetas congregate off of Western Peru, in an area called the Milne Edwards Deep. They are concentrated there because of a phenomenon called the Peru Current. While it is not as concentrated a source of marine life as the krill concentrations off Antarctica, there are still a lot of anchovetas off of Peru.
Picture: Map of Upwellings and Current Circulation Patterns off of Western Peru. The Peru Current and Milne Edwards Deep are colorfully identified in colors proven pleasing to young children.
Page 10
Text: In 1970, Peruvian fishermen landed 10 million tons of anchovetas. This compares to only 2 million tons of sardines.
Picture: Picture of the Peruvian Anchoveta, showing its large mouth.
Page 11
Text: Aside from fertilizer, the anchovetas are used to make fish meal.
Picture: Histogram showing annual fish meal production, by year for 1970-2000.
Page 12
Text: Anchovetas belong to a family of fish called Clupeoids. Sardines, pilchards and herrings also belong to this group.
Picture: Picture of Fez holding representative varieties of Clupeoids. He obviously prefers the anchoveta, as he is shown looking at the anchoveta in his right hand, ignoring the sardines and pilchards in his left hand.
Page 13
Text: The meteorological phenomenon called El Nino effects the anchoveta harvest. During strong El Nino years, there are not as many anchovetas. Many fishermen are unemployed during these years, and often sit idly on stree

ChrisTheCop
02-11-2003, 11:57 AM
I have trouble reading your posts when i might learn something. Do you really think I'm gonna read this one? Not without the pictures I'm not!

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/karmazinknows.gif">INFINITY BLOWS

The Chairman
02-11-2003, 12:44 PM
I'll have to check to see if the servers have enough memory for pictures for this one. For now those with patience to read above will just have to use their imagination. Or Ritalin.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/headi.gif>
thanks ADF for the "alt" SigPic!!
slanted and enchanted...

TooCute
02-11-2003, 02:41 PM
Ive been working on pictures for this for a year and they're STILL not done.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!

TheMojoPin
02-11-2003, 08:33 PM
This is seriously the best thread ever and the entire message board should be shut down and burned because nothing ever...EVER...everevereverevereverever...will top THIS.

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
VP #2 for the Coalition of Angry Micks, and the best goddamn American ever.
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

ChickenHawk
02-11-2003, 08:43 PM
Is this post available on tape?

<IMG SRC="http://wwfallon.50megs.com/karmasig.gif">
"Just back 'n jack." -Ron
"It looks like brown Cool Whip." -Fez
FUCK VIACOM*FUCK INFINITY*FUCK BAD MUSIC

fluffernutter
02-11-2003, 11:51 PM
Not without the pictures I'm not!

I smell a long term project in the works! The visuals alone are great. In my head at least.

http://dcreed.freeservers.com/images/fluffobit.gif

NOW 23% MEANER

golfcourseguy
02-12-2003, 01:51 AM
Funny, I can't help think that somewhere a network executive is reading this and saying, "THAT'S IT, THE GIRLS OF ARIZONA STATE".



"Editing Posts Since Day One"

kc7586
02-20-2003, 10:26 PM
so the point of the story is that fez is peruvian?

<center>
<img src="http://czm.racknine.net/images/kc1.jpg">
</center>
<center>
Thanks for the sig CZM!
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I am woman hear me roar, bitch, and whine.