Question for the ladies...

[Reephdweller]

I was on a date over the weekend and things went alright. I watched a movie with this girl I had met earlier in the day. After the movie we made out did a little fooling around but nothing too dirty...your basic touching, that's about it. No sex, just making out.

Afterwards I was talking to some of my friends who asked me how it went. When I told them what happened a few of them told me I should have been much more aggressive with her. I figured I was being polite since it was sort of a first date and all. I guess I was feeling her out as far as how far she wanted to go, but I didn't want to be too forward. Should I have been?

Some told me I should have, because a lot of women like that and feel rejected when the guy isn't all over them. It really has never been my style on the first date be that way. Is that wrong? I've been on dates were some women want you to be all over them, and others where they just want you the way I was. The is very interested in seeing me again so I'm guessing I was fine, but what I want to know is. In general do you prefer men to be much more aggressive on the first date? Just curious.

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[LatinSpiceXoX]

I am very proud of you sweetie.
Too often, a guy will feel that just because the female is getting deeply wrapped up in the kissing and the touching that this means she wants more, or is giving him the green light.
Sometimes we are just testing you... to see what kind of guy you are, to see if you'd take advantage.
I'm sure this girl is happy with the fun you both had, which is why she agrees to a second date.

I don't know the history of your friends, or the people you are getting advice from, but sometimes, even though they might be 'Don Juans', or 'SMOOTH', doesn't necessarily mean they will give you the best advice for YOU!

One thing that kind of stood out was how they said "..Some told me I should have, because a lot of women like that and feel rejected when the guy isn't all over them... " This is only true when the female is experiencing a bit of an esteem problem. She probably sees her girlfriends, or school mates getting attention (whether good or bad) and feels that when a guy doesn't want to show physical attention, that he is not attracted to her and she then feels rejected.
I don't think this is the fault of bad parenting or what some guy has done in the past. This is an issue that can only be resolved within herself.

If you do encounter a female of this nature, the only way to reassure her (without acting like a dog) is to talk with her, smile, hold her hand, hug her, play with her hair, pay her attention in other ways.

If and/or when you both do decide to take that sexual step, remember to use protection! No matter how long you know her, know yourself, or how much confidence you have in yourself and knowing that this girl is legit. It's always good to be safe.

:) Let us know how the 2nd date goes.


P.S. It did seem like it did get a bit hot/heavy there for a minute!

'Girl, your stare, those eyes, I, Love it when you <a href="http://hometown.aol.com/latinspicexox/XoXoX.html">LOOK @ Me</a> Baby...'
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[HordeKing1]

After the movie we made out did a little fooling around but nothing too dirty...your basic touching, that's about it. No sex, just making out.

Sex is not dirty.


Forget what your friends tell you. You must do what you feel comfortable with doing, always being respectful of your partner as well. (In other words, if you're not into sex on the first date, or first month or whatever, that's fine.)







<img src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking1">

[Reephdweller]

No matter how long you know her, know yourself, or how much confidence you have in yourself and knowing that this girl is legit. It's always good to be safe.


Thanks, I guess it comes down to how I read her. I got the sense she was into going as far as we did, but wasn't quite ready for the next step so quickly. We'll see how the next one goes.

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[Dewey]

Sex is not dirty.


It is if it's done right!

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"><br>"Still searching for America."

[stickyfingers]

It is if it's done right!



I like to put a Hershey's Kiss in a girl's tookie, let it melt a bit, then eat it.

Is this what you are into you sick son of a bitch?

o
< &
====D )
\___ "lemme tell ya sumpin"

[silera]

My only advice is to never talk to your friends about the details of your relationship.

It always backfires, it's disrespectful to your chick, and the only reason they're listening to you is for a cheap vicarious thrill.



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<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
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[TheBrain007]

It always backfires, it's disrespectful to your chick, and the only reason they're listening to you is for a cheap vicarious thrill.


I AGREE, I AGREE!!!! Thank God, someone has a point!


<b>TheBrain007</b>

"The Brain knows... maybe."

[my_mr_happy]

you did great. I know this is a question for the ladies but I will put my 2 cents in...

When ever you tell someone -especially a guy but girls do this too- about a date the problem is they will usually tell you what tehy would have done. And while You feel you had a good time some peoples point of view is diffrent based on their own experiance.

Some of the best dates I have had ended in just kissing, others all the way. YOU are the judge of what happend. To me it sounds like it went great! So remember when you tell someone about a date or relationship they give you feedback on what THEY would have done. and there is no way the date would have turned out how they say casue the person would have reacted diffrent.

my mom always said...

"It is better to be acused of being a gentleman... then an ape..."

mr_happy =)

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[Jennitalia]

do what feels natural for you. you dont always have to bump uglies the first time you hang out...pace yourself, young man.

oh, and girls have needs/wants, too. if she wanted to have gone farther, believe me, she would've pursued it more.

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[TheGameHHH]

You shoulda hit that shit raw dog and bailed.

<img src= http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/hhh.gif>
Thanks ADF

[Arienette]

just a comment on the "girls want you to be all over them thing"... there's a big difference between showing interest and being all over them. it seems reasonable that a girl who is into you might feel rejected or something if you show very little interest in her. but that doesn't mean, as your friends seem to think, that she wants you to be so agressive. if you guys were fooling around and stuff, that's more than enough to make her feel wanted and for her to realize that you're interested. and, since she wants to see you again, it seems like you did the right thing in the situation

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you were carved from bone but your heart is just sand
and the wind is gonna scatter it and cover everything with love</center>

[Reephdweller]

Thanks everyone. I believe I did do the right thing, I sat down with a friend today who really helped me out on this as well.

One of the best things my friend said to me was that I'm over analyzing this and to take things slowly. The best relationships are those where you don't have to think about anything, it all comes naturally. And it's true, some of my best relationships have been that way.

I appreciate everyones perspective on this, I just wanted to be sure that the way I acted was right. It felt right at the time and since then I've spoken with her and she's pretty enthusiastic about the next date. I think I made the right call.

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[ADF]

Do whatever feels natural. Just because you don't have sex even though you're getting physical doesn't mean that you're not giving her what she wants. Besides, if things are moving along at that sort if pace you're more than likely going to get more at a later date. The most important thing is achieving a significant emotional attachment from where you can launch a relationship that is deeply meaningful, physically and mentally.

Man, I'm drunk right now.

<center><img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adf14.gif>
Ce sachet d'emballage n'est pas un jouet.</center>

[Dewey]

Is this what you are into you sick son of a bitch?


Absolutely not! I am into much sicker stuff than this!

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"><br>"Still searching for America."