Se7en
02-20-2003, 07:14 PM
I'm going to post here what I think to be a very good article on the latest WWE royal fuckup - the abomination of a debut for one of my faves, Kanyon.
I'm not sure why Kanyon was shit on so royally...whether it was because he's from WCW, or whether it was just the Undertaker being his usual asshole egotist self....but still, Norton here makes some excellent points.
*****
Posted By Blake Norton on 02.18.03
After an epic, one-year struggle between sickness and health, life and death, Kanyon finally achieved his goal. He returned to action with World Wrestling Entertainment, the culmination of a journey fought with doubt and suffering.
However, instead of using Kanyon's real-life struggles as an opportunity to share his character and passion with their fans, the company chose to take a different route.
They chose to make him an absolute joke, as he was donned in an outfit reminiscent of 80s pop star Boy George and sent out to sing off-key at The Undertaker, which naturally resulted in a swift and meaningless beat-down.
The point, the tragedy, isn't that Kanyon's re-debut is disrespected. He himself knows exactly what he has accomplished. His peers know and he is aware that those of us who work in this business admire his courage. He has kept his job during a time when layoffs have been flying fast and furious, as the business clamors for direction, for substance, for legitimate draws that will lead the company back to prosperity.
That's the point. Kanyon could have been made a major draw.
Not only is his untapped talent and charisma widely understood within this business, but the real-life tale of his trials and tribulations, coupled with his fresh, under-exposed face, made the opportunity for a major new push a no-brainer.
So why was Kanyon brought back as a joke? Why was he used in a role that helped nobody? Why was his potential wasted?
These questions have been asked time and time again in relation to dozens of different scenarios. The answer from the WWE, when they do answer such criticism, is always the same.
We are World Wrestling Entertainment. We respect our stars, but separate their lives off-screen from the characters they play on-screen.
Both of those arguments are entirely correct. There is, quite honestly, nothing wrong with how the WWE is using Kanyon. And anyway, why shouldn't they bring guys like Kanyon in as the punch line of a joke that nobody thought was funny in the first place?
Lord knows that "bell boy" Brian Kendrick, "fat prude" Molly Holly, Shawn Stasiak, Saturn & Moppy, Tommy Dreamer's "I eat crap" gimmick, Christian's tantrum gimmick, Booker T.'s extended "dumb heel thug" gimmick (remember that one?), Rico the Gay Stylist, Steven Richards' "goofier than a pet coon" gimmick (that one lasted on and off for five years), Jamie Noble & Nidia's trailer-trash routine, one-time hardcore superstar Crash's apparent mental breakdown, and Billy & Chuck have drawn so much fucking money in comparable slapstick roles.
Kanyon could have been introduced in a meaningful way. He could have drawn money.
Here's how they could have done it.
Last week on Smackdown, maybe Kanyon didn't show up as a Boy George impersonator. Instead, we saw a video; a tactic which sure worked well for Triple-H, Rey Mysterio and literally hundreds of wrestlers over the last twenty years of the business.
The Video:
Camera pan on Kanyon standing in the ring. Heavy zoom. The shot starts at his boots, slowly panning up to his calves. Imagery of his rehabilitation flicker onto the screen.
A disturbing image of him in pain, ideally from hospital, performance shots will suffice if necessary. The speed of the film slows gradually (0.75x, to 0.5x, 0.4x). The pan reaches the man's chest and neck.
Fade to black.
The screen engulfed in pitch black, enter the familiar beating of the WWE pre-main event pulse.
"Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump."
A blade swings across the screen.
A silhouette jogs back and forth in an empty hall on the vertical axis, run
I'm not sure why Kanyon was shit on so royally...whether it was because he's from WCW, or whether it was just the Undertaker being his usual asshole egotist self....but still, Norton here makes some excellent points.
*****
Posted By Blake Norton on 02.18.03
After an epic, one-year struggle between sickness and health, life and death, Kanyon finally achieved his goal. He returned to action with World Wrestling Entertainment, the culmination of a journey fought with doubt and suffering.
However, instead of using Kanyon's real-life struggles as an opportunity to share his character and passion with their fans, the company chose to take a different route.
They chose to make him an absolute joke, as he was donned in an outfit reminiscent of 80s pop star Boy George and sent out to sing off-key at The Undertaker, which naturally resulted in a swift and meaningless beat-down.
The point, the tragedy, isn't that Kanyon's re-debut is disrespected. He himself knows exactly what he has accomplished. His peers know and he is aware that those of us who work in this business admire his courage. He has kept his job during a time when layoffs have been flying fast and furious, as the business clamors for direction, for substance, for legitimate draws that will lead the company back to prosperity.
That's the point. Kanyon could have been made a major draw.
Not only is his untapped talent and charisma widely understood within this business, but the real-life tale of his trials and tribulations, coupled with his fresh, under-exposed face, made the opportunity for a major new push a no-brainer.
So why was Kanyon brought back as a joke? Why was he used in a role that helped nobody? Why was his potential wasted?
These questions have been asked time and time again in relation to dozens of different scenarios. The answer from the WWE, when they do answer such criticism, is always the same.
We are World Wrestling Entertainment. We respect our stars, but separate their lives off-screen from the characters they play on-screen.
Both of those arguments are entirely correct. There is, quite honestly, nothing wrong with how the WWE is using Kanyon. And anyway, why shouldn't they bring guys like Kanyon in as the punch line of a joke that nobody thought was funny in the first place?
Lord knows that "bell boy" Brian Kendrick, "fat prude" Molly Holly, Shawn Stasiak, Saturn & Moppy, Tommy Dreamer's "I eat crap" gimmick, Christian's tantrum gimmick, Booker T.'s extended "dumb heel thug" gimmick (remember that one?), Rico the Gay Stylist, Steven Richards' "goofier than a pet coon" gimmick (that one lasted on and off for five years), Jamie Noble & Nidia's trailer-trash routine, one-time hardcore superstar Crash's apparent mental breakdown, and Billy & Chuck have drawn so much fucking money in comparable slapstick roles.
Kanyon could have been introduced in a meaningful way. He could have drawn money.
Here's how they could have done it.
Last week on Smackdown, maybe Kanyon didn't show up as a Boy George impersonator. Instead, we saw a video; a tactic which sure worked well for Triple-H, Rey Mysterio and literally hundreds of wrestlers over the last twenty years of the business.
The Video:
Camera pan on Kanyon standing in the ring. Heavy zoom. The shot starts at his boots, slowly panning up to his calves. Imagery of his rehabilitation flicker onto the screen.
A disturbing image of him in pain, ideally from hospital, performance shots will suffice if necessary. The speed of the film slows gradually (0.75x, to 0.5x, 0.4x). The pan reaches the man's chest and neck.
Fade to black.
The screen engulfed in pitch black, enter the familiar beating of the WWE pre-main event pulse.
"Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump."
A blade swings across the screen.
A silhouette jogs back and forth in an empty hall on the vertical axis, run