10 things I promise to do for my girl....

[Iamnotatool]

Should she meet my 10 requirements of a previous post...

1) Carry her damn purse for her while doing unnecessary window shopping and/or trying shit on she has no intention of buying (no matter how much it makes me feel like less of a man)
2) Shag her rotten any and everytime the mood strikes her, even when I'm not in the mood....and yes, there are times, not many, but some
3) Perform oral sex on her so frequently that she begins to feel my toungue and her clit are somehow stuck together
4) Take long shower's/baths with her, though it only takes me 5 minutes to get in, wash, get out...10 if I'm spanking it
5) No peeing in the shower for me!!
6) Have and claim to enjoy 'crime-scene sex' no matter how dirty it makes me feel...
7) I shall never 'unintentionally' slide up the hershey highway (unless she is really drunk:))
8) No cheating for me, as I find it repulsive to think of her cheating then coming home and giving me a kiss with another guys dick on her breath, I too feel she wouldn't want to taste other womens coochie on mine
9) I shall dedicate my saturday to her, anything she'd like to do, trusting she will not fuck with me on football sunday's, unless it is for halftime hummers.
and 10) I shall, always, put the toilet seat down...and this ladies, is tough...I will also not leave any brown or yellow suprises for her, for when she lifts up said toilet seat...





Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[MHasegawa]

Butt-Head this sucks, change it.

www.onaarmy.cjb.net
<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/dkbfc.gif>

[hyperspace]

your either 14 years old or NEVER get laid.

[Iamnotatool]

Well, being the internet, I guess we can all make our own assumptions and/or wiseacre remarks. Fact is I get laid enough for my tastes, but I'm looking for that 1 special someone, whom appreciates a nice guy, who may have a few sexual kinks.

However I shall add

11) I will never forget a birthday, holiday, or your mothers visitation. Such events will be met with gifts and love
12) I will be spontaneous, not just in terms of shagging, but in terms of bringing home flowers when it ISN'T a holiday/birthday, and not the cheesy roses from the local Exxon, but fresh flowers that I've taken from someone else's finely cropped garden, because their beauty made me think of you...
13) I will forgo watching the last inning(s) of a Met game should we have prior commitments, no matter how boring/unnecessary those commitments may be to me. (those that know me, know this is a hard one, as I am a diehard Met fan)
14) I will watch chick flicks and bad tv shows that you insist are good (Joe millionaire, Bachelor, anything w/ Reece Witherspoon, etc)
15) I will not waste time, effort, or money on things that are not mutually beneficial, without prior consent.


There, I fagged it up a bit for you...

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[silera]

These are good but most girls are cunts and you'll never do enough.



<center>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/Silera/sig4.gif

<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
<font color=white>

[Iamnotatool]

Silera, so very true...

But it is nice to get some support from the opposite sex. The men seem to be flaming me 'round here.

By the way, Silera, thats a great ass....




Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[Uncle Smokey]

Silera, say cunt again...I beg of you. Then maybe throw in that ur hat an bland and u wanna be my hot little dominican bitch

<IMG SRC="http://www.jrsfilm.com/bishop1.asp">

[Iamnotatool]

Then maybe throw in that ur hat an bland


Huh?


Silera honey, get him...

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[satan-2]

These are good but most girls are cunts and you'll never do enough.


damn, silera you hit the nail on the head. my brother is getting a divorce because his wife was/is a cunt who said "you never did enough for me."

god is an absentee LANDLORD!!!

later

[PanterA]

::meow:: ::whip-psshhh::

<center><img style="backround:COLOR" style="color:RED" style="border style:double 6px" src="http://members.aol.com/fezwhatleyfan/rfsig"></center>

[stickyfingers]

this equation just came to me.....board names=antonyms

"lemme tell ya sumpin" -CW

[TooCute]

this equation just came to me.....board names=antonyms


fuck you, greasy mitts.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!

[hyperspace]

i don't think chicks like kinky guys unless they are getting paid for it.

[Iamnotatool]

i don't think chicks like kinky guys unless they are getting paid for it


Hyper, here's a secret. Most girls are as kinky if not MORESO than us, but if they admit it, society deems them whores, while we are studs. Methinks it is another double standard that needs to go. If you find girls that are comfortable with you, they'll let loose, and it's on.

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[hyperspace]

i don't know about that. lets say hypothetically there was a guy who was into bdsm, and he knew a girl who talked about it all the time. he admitted to her he was into it to...then he never heard from her again..

[reeshy]

Hey Tool,
You really are living up to your name. I, for one. am getting bored real fast with your psuedo-sexual escapades. I find that the guy who talks the most about getting laid and how good they are. is the one who sits home and dry-cleans his batch rags.
Before you come back with some smart-ass remarks, do me a favor-save it and pack it up your ass. I'm sure you could be more amusing and easier to listen to if you would just be yourself and relax. Trust me-you're not impressing anybody with your self-indulgent rantings!!! Other than that-have a nice day!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:fcRp-cNqYjUC:www.bigmagic.com/pages/blackj/darin.jpg>

[Iamnotatool]

Reeshy, my dear boy


Nope, not going to bash you, even though you sure bashed the hell out of me.

What I'd like is for you to find exactly where it was that I claimed to be so good, or the bomb sexually. I never have, nor will I. I simply state what I like. Thats all. I get laid. As much as some hot ass Don Juan motherfuckers? Not even close. More than Al Dukes? Probably. But its not the point of how frequently, or how well I do when I get laid. Just about what I like, thats all. I never claimed to be a mack. Never claimed to have a big ole dick. Nor do I.

I really don't understand your anger, and I don't particularly care to. But you sure are ignorant. So go ahead and quote any post of mine where it says how good I am in the sac, or what a pimp I am, or whatever nonsense you put in your post, than I'll eat my words...

Till then, have a good day....tool


You really are living up to your name. I, for one. am getting bored real fast with your psuedo-sexual escapades. I find that the guy who talks the most about getting laid and how good they are. is the one who sits home and dry-cleans his batch rags.
Before you come back with some smart-ass remarks, do me a favor-save it and pack it up your ass. I'm sure you could be more amusing and easier to listen to if you would just be yourself and relax. Trust me-you're not impressing anybody with your self-indulgent rantings!!!


Where are my pseudo sexual escapades? Where did I talk about how good I am? You have issues little boy.

This message was edited by Iamnotatool on 2-24-03 @ 8:55 PM

[Iamnotatool]

say hypothetically there was a guy who was into bdsm, and he knew a girl who talked about it all the time. he admitted to her he was into it to...then he never heard from her again..



As ignorant as reeshy may be, he had a point on people who talk a lot about there sexual escapades. Perhaps this 'hypothetical' girl was talkin shit??

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[DC Reed]

Ya know what i hear, I hear that western song from the good, the bad and the ugly.

With a heavy emphasis on the WHIP part of it.

<IMG SRC="http://dcreed.freeservers.com/images/dcrampage.gif">

<marquee behavoir=alternate>FREE YERDADDY!!!!!</marquee>

[tricia]

#1 won't be necessary
#5 doesn't bother me
#9 i work on saturdays and watch football on sundays

for the rest of those things, i could do the stuff on the other list....

[grlNIN]

Would kill yourself be on that list???
(please say yes please say yes)




We Say Stand Together, Not To Fight Just To Exist
<IMG SRC=http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=ariam21>
INSOMNIAC THREAD KEEPER

<marquee>"If I Cut Off Your Arms And Cut Off Your Legs, Would You Still Love Me Anyway? If Youre Bound And Gagged, Drained And Displayed, Would You Still Love Me Anyway?"</marquee>

[tricia]

wishing suicide upon someone is highly uncharitable

[Iamnotatool]

#1 won't be necessary
#5 doesn't bother me
#9 i work on saturdays and watch football on sundays

for the rest of those things, i could do the stuff on the other list....


Tricia....be my valentine?

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[stickyfingers]

fuck you, greasy mitts


toocute,

i assure you that my comment was not in your general direction....if i had made it towards you then my theory would be shot to shit






"lemme tell ya sumpin" -CW

[TheBrain007]

There, I fagged it up a bit for you...

You didn't have to point that one out.

Why are you even listing this shit? Nobody likes a so-called "nice guy" who advertises himself like he's God's gift to women.

<b>TheBrain007</b>
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

This message was edited by TheBrain007 on 2-25-03 @ 10:44 AM

[TooCute]

Why are you even listing this shit? Nobody likes a so-called "nice guy" who advertises himself like he's God's gift to women.



Maybe not, but it is oh so fun to see people get upset by him. I'm amused!

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!

[Iamnotatool]

advertises himself like he's God's gift to women.



Brain, once again, where was the advertisement for God's gift to women? Tool

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[TheBrain007]

Fact is I get laid enough for my tastes, but I'm looking for that 1 special someone, whom appreciates a nice guy, who may have a few sexual kinks.

Ok Mr. Niceguy, what makes you so special that you think anybody cares about what you will do for your imaginary girlfriend. If you have to tell everyone, chances are, you're not going to do any of it. Nevermind the fact that your other list makes you look like an asshole with way too many rules and regulations. Women don't wanna hear that shit, you "tool."

<b>TheBrain007</b>
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

[high fly]

Hey Tool, if you really want to be romantic and really thrill this imaginary woman of the future, please seriously consider the following addition to the list---- it is a surefire way to get her to fall for you: name a star after her.

"Fan of Latin Spice's Kadoonk Adoonk since day one"

[silera]

if you really want to be romantic and really thrill this imaginary woman of the future


I'm real dammit.

What's wrong with his list?

It's obviously tongue in cheek.

I'm sure he would have gotten a great response had he had started the regular,

"HELP! I'M A PATHETIC LOSER AND I CAN'T GET LAID"

or "WHY WON'T SHE LOVE ME?"

or

"I JUST GOT DUMPED"

You people seriously just don't want to believe that maybe there are people out there that actually have fucked and will fuck again.




<center>http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silera/files/Silera/sig4.gif

<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
<font color=white>

[TooCute]

Don't forget...

SHOULD I CALL HER?

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!

[Patches]

It's obviously tongue in cheek


No. The "I like to have my brown eye licked" thread was tongue in cheek. GET IT!!?!?!!? HAHA

<IMG SRC=http://www.imahosting.com/sigs/sigpic4.jpg>

<b>Osama Bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass! And I live in Rockaway. And this is my face, bitch!
-FF Mike Moran</b>

This message was edited by Patches on 2-25-03 @ 5:36 PM

[Iamnotatool]

You people seriously just don't want to believe that maybe there are people out there that actually have fucked and will fuck again.



Once again Silera showing she is my queen in Shining armor.

All I said is I get laid enough for my own taste. That could mean once a week, once a month, once a year....
I still have yet to see the problem with what I've said. The ones defending me, seem to have a bit more rationale, however, I may be a bit biased. But the ones flaming me have come out guns blazing. Perhaps those that flame the most, get laid the least?

Fact is, I'm an ordinary guy. 6'0 180, brown messy hair, hazel eyes, regular Joe fuckin Shmoe. I'm a bit chubby, not fat, but not ripped. I don't spend 3 hours a day in the gym or an hour a day in front of the mirror. I'm thinking about shaving my fucking head, because it is a pain in the ass to deal with hair. I'm a guy, simple as that. I do happen to be very confident in my sexuality. That isn't to say that I get sex for breakfast lunch and dinner,(though morning sex fucking rocks) it just means that at this stage in my life (27 years old) I kinda know what I want and what I like, though I am always open to new things.

I don't have 'game' like a lot of guys, and most girls I do get with, I am friends with first. I don't pull chicks every weekend, and I looove being in a relationship. I've never, not once, cheated on a girl in my life, and I find it repulsive. The thought of cheating makes me sick. Last thing I want is my girl to be sucking someguys dick, come home and kiss me with other guy's dick on her breath. And I respect women too much, believe it or not, to fuck w/ some girl other than her, then spread the other pussy back to my girl. This list, while indeed a bit toungue in cheek(and by the way, the reference to the brown eye...genius) is the truth. It's what I like. Not necessarily what you like, but what I like. Do I truly expect to find a girl to jump into all 10 at once? Of course not. But I didn't think I'd cause such a commotion by listing these things.

Jeez, I had a girl who was into pissing, wasn't my thing at all, but it turned her on, so I tried it. Big fucking deal, we pissed on each other in the shower, did nothing for me, she loved it. Should I have screamed and kicked her out for wanting to try something new or being into something I wasn't? No, it didn't involve pain of any sort, so I fuckin tried it. Seems like a lot of boys (not men) on this board would rather just stick to the one pump two pump squirt type of sex, if thats your thing more power to you. I'll keep my mind open thanks...

Please, please take a long hard look in the mirror before passing judgement on others.


Silera, your a goddess on earth....Stay sweet.

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...