Should I feel trapped?

[stickyfingers]

I have a girlfriend who I am very happy with. She is everything I could want from a girl...BUT...everyone needs thier space. Due to the fact that she graduated early and is already working full-time and that her friends from high school really are bitches (this is not me sticking up for her) and her friends from college (who are awesome people) are far away from where she lives my girlfriend has no friends.............so, when the weekends role around here's when my cage gets closed......she wants to hang out, no problem. She has no friends so she starts hanging out with me and my friends, still not really a problem. When I want to do something with just the boys, it is like i ruined her whole night...."now i have nothing to do" or "okay, i guess i'll just stay home...go have fun"(in a bitter tone)...its always an awkward feeling

so I guess I just want feedback or similar situations or just do what you guys do

[Fallon]

You gotta get together with some of your boys that have girlfriends and try to get yours to hang with them.

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[Dewey]

Sticky, I met your girlfriend and she is fine. So you'd better get to training her before it is too late.

Sit her down and say "Look sweetums, I love you and love spending time with you, but a man's got to have his space." If she's cool, she'll understand that. Then, go out with the boys and have a good time, but make sure you hit it extra hard and extra good when you get back.

I like the suggestion to have her hang out with the girlfriends of your friends. You could all plan something, like all going out together, and then at a pre-arranged time, the boys take off for parts unknown.

P.S. Don't let her get into the habit of checking up on you when you are out with the boys. Call her on it if she tries. If you're out, you're out, that's it.

You are setting the tone and the rules now for the rest of your relationship. Many a man has had to dump a woman because he didn't train her when he had the chance.

If all else fails, I'll babysit her for you on Saturday nights. Stay out as long as you like.




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[silera]

Alkey is my best friend.

Why would I want to go out alone when I can go out with him?

If I can't make it or he can't make it, sure no big deal. But if we're both free, I don't see why we can't go out and have fun together.



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<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
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[stickyfingers]

thanks for the feedback...

Fallon-great idea, now i only wish my friends would settle down

Dewey-how's it going buddy....okay i have 'trained' her very well actually she just came that way....she has never checked up on me and its not really like that at all....and there's no way i am calling on your babysitting services anytime soon and if i did i would make sure there were no hershey kisses anywhere in the tri-state area....oh yeah, and you are making me feel like alkey for a day with the 'your gf's hot' stuff....but i forgive you

Silera-right, she is my best friend also and i spend mostly every nite with her during the week and weekend but i guess what i am more concerned with is the fact that when i have other things to do she has nothing to do


thanks...feel free to come 'em coming







"lemme tell ya sumpin" -CW

[Iamnotatool]

We should never feel trapped. A night with the boys is a night with the boys. However, in relationships I've been in (the good ones anyway) I always kinda felt like I was missing a part of me when I went out wihtout her. There isn't much that I'd do with the guys that I wouldn't involve her in. Unless its a bachelor party. And she felt the same. When I'm out with the boys, its usually to scope out chicks, and if I'm in a relationship, I shouldn't be scoping. The advice about finding friends with girlfriends is right on...

Perhaps your girl is a bit catty. My ex hated girls, only had guy friends. Which is good if you trust her, but tough if you don't

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits...

[TheBrain007]

My ex hated girls, only had guy friends. Which is good if you trust her, but tough if you don't

Damn straight.

<b>TheBrain007</b>
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

[Dewey]

Alkey is my best friend.

Why would I want to go out alone when I can go out with him?



Silera, you don't count. You're like a really cool guy with tits and a cunt.

Ever notice how most guys, unlike Alkey, are not "allowed" to play grab-ass and just generally have a grand old time when their girlfriends are around? If they did, they'd have holes stared through their back and pay for it when they got home.

If women would loosen up a bit, men would feel more inclined to take them along whenever.

That being said, it is the rare relationship where you don't need some breathing space once in a while and just do things with the boys.

I envy the relationship you and Alkey have. I think that's what we all want, a best friend we can eff.

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"><br>"Still searching for America."

[Rev]

She is everything I could want from a girl...BUT


That's about as genuine as "I'm sorry, But..."

If you feel hindered by her company, you're basically not considering her an equal.

xoxoxoxo,
Rev

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[silera]

You're like a really cool guy with tits and a cunt.

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.



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<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
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[IrishAlkey]

You're like a really cool guy with tits and a cunt.

I'M NOT GAY!

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[angrymissy]

My boyfriend and I used to be the same way. I would spend every weekend with him and he'd complain that I had no friends.

Now I go out every weekend and he gets pissed becuase he thinks I don't spend enough time with him.

Men are never happy

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[stickyfingers]

you're basically not considering her an equal.


you're right because in my opinion she is a better person than me

listen i think you are taking this the wrong way...i am not trying to say i dislike hanging out with her at all or feel threatened in any way....but its just that everything we do revolves around my plans and if a bunch of old friends are getting together they don't always expect the girlfriends to be there especially when they don't have girlfriends there...if you have never heard of just hanging with the boys then I don't understand what kind of lifestyle you live



Now I go out every weekend and he gets pissed becuase he thinks I don't spend enough time with him.


that's funny because i gaurantee i would be one to do the same thing...but only if it was an extreme

"lemme tell ya sumpin" -CW

[Rev]

listen i think you are taking this the wrong way
I took it exactly the way you said it. Didnt confuse it one bit.

I make it a point to tell every girl i have ever dated, If at any point one of us "needs space", we should break up immediately.

if you have never heard of just hanging with the boys then I don't understand what kind of lifestyle you live
Let's get realistic here. It should be called "just hanging out with everyone but the girlfriends."
I've been in a great relationship for over 3 years now. My girlfriend (a member of this board, by the way) is someone I have no reservations about.
And that my friend, is how to treat someone you love...with no reservations.

The fact that she is bi-sexual, and we have a wildly active sexlife doesnt hurt either, lol!

Perhaps your right...you probably will never understand the kind of lifestyle i live.

xoxoxo,
Rev

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[stickyfingers]

I took it exactly the way you said it. Didnt confuse it one bit.


rev,

you know what, i went back and read it and it does seem like it could be taken the wrong way as if i am unhappy....this is not the case.

The whole thing I wanted to talk about was the fact that she has nothing to do when something comes up. You make it sound like i get pissed when she is around....so not true. She is the first person I want to and do spend time with. This whole thing is based on what happens when a situation arises where we cannot hang out....i didn't want to get specific but since you seem to know everything i would like to let you in on what i am talking about....one of my friends is getting married and his 'batch'elor party is this weekend and he and his friends(myself included) are going down to Atlantic City.....we reserved two rooms and none of the guys have or are bringing girlfriends....when i told her this, she was fine with it and also gave me the 'dammit now what am i gonna do thing' that's what prompted me to start this thread.....i am glad people actually took an interest in it


WOULD YOU BRING YOUR FELLOW BOARD MEMBER TO THAT? OR JUST NOT GO AT ALL? (which is dumb in my mind)

"lemme tell ya sumpin" -CW

[Rev]

Your pretty good at backpeddling, I'll give ya that. :-P


xoxoxo,
Rev

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[silera]

I'd rather go to a bachelor party than a bachelorette party.


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<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
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[stickyfingers]

Your pretty good at backpeddling, I'll give ya that


please explain what the hell you mean by that....i am not trying to be a dick at all

is it because you now know the whole story and not just what you thought....maybe your assumption was wrong?



"lemme tell ya sumpin" -CW

This message was edited by stickyfingers72 on 2-27-03 @ 1:51 PM

[gone]

i have a similar problem.. kind of..

i have like no friends here and i tend to not like too many females.. so i hang out with my boyfriend and his friends alot.. which is cool.. the difference is.. i feel bad about it more than he does... hes always like "my friends all like you, its ok dont worry about it" and i freak out cause i kinda want my space and i want to make sure he has his..

i think a big part of it is that he doesnt trust me to go to the city to hang out with the friends i do have.. the nights i go home early and do home work he goes out with the boys and parties and shit.. and i hardly get time to chill with my people.

i love him to death and when we are together its kosher.. i just fucking hate the jealousy shit. if i want to get dressed all nice and put on some make up every once in awhile.. its not that bad right?

C*U*N*T
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[Rev]

so, when the weekends role around here's when my cage gets closed......

i am not trying to say i dislike hanging out with her at all or feel threatened in any way

This is what I was referring to with the backpeddling comment.

Also, in a later post, you went on to specify ONE situation(bachelor party).
Well, if it was only one situation, why pluralize "weekends."


Seems like you misunderstood me, not the other way around.
Let me clarify...

Look, dont get me wrong. Certain situations come up. I've gone out on my own, and visa-versa. Thats normal.

But your being sheepish about it. That's where it gets questionable.
If theres plans that dont involve her, lay it down straight.
You getting all squeemish aint gonna do anything but build a rift in between you 2.

Hopefully this will clear up some things.

xoxoxo,
Rev

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[fatty]

Men are never happy


*cough* *ahem*
men are never happy?
compared to women men are richard simmons on extacy at a gay bar. (it's topical)

women are never happy, never. this is because they do not know what they want, and since it's impossible to give them something they don't know they want, they will always feel unfufilled and unhappy.

women are impossible, no joke.

but as far as mr. fingers question your best bet is to establish now that you will hang out with your guy friends alone sometimes. if not it will only get worse.

she'll sulk and feel bad and make you feel guilty but fuck it if that's what you want to do just go out. i totally understand what your saying, my ex girlfriend was my best friend and we did everything together too, she came out with my friends all the time. but sometimes it's just time for the boys, and even though most girls cannot understand that they will just have to learn.

you are wondering if you are dick for doing so because she has no friends, well you're not. it's not your fault she has no friends, so don't feel too bad about it. obviously you shouldn't ditch her all the time or anything, but if it's only once in awhile like you're saying don't even sweat it. and if it causes you to break up than don't sweat it either because if that's enough for her to leave you don't want her.

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