How to I help a family member deal with miscarriage?

[Jasmines Song]

My cousin found out she was pregnant on Tuesday. Today, she has had bleeding and the doctor told her to rest. She can't even go to work. Deep down, she feels that she miscarried and all the symptoms are there.

The thing is, we're the "baby-girls" of the family. We don't have a big family at all. We're only a year apart and grew up together. We have always been very close. Now that she got married last year everyone has been looking forward to the pregnancy. Now this happens.

I don't know how to handle it. Especially that I am going with her to see the doctor on Monday for blood results.

http://members.aol.com/jasminestrings/jassig

"Be brave...be beautiful"

[silera]

Don't assume the worst.

I bled through the first three months of both my pregnancies.

If it is the worst, just know that most women miscarry without realizing it, assuming their period arrived early or late. It's better that it happen this early in the pregnancy than later.

My cousing recently gave birth to twins 4 mos prematurely. They both died within a few days after birth. They were her first and were highly anticipated for that among other reasons.

All you can do is let her cry and assure her that there is always time to try again.



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<font size=3><font color=red>I can't stand myself either.</font></font></center>
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[Zoefus]

If it's the worst, just be there for her & don't say stuff like "It was meant to be... " yada yada



Silera, I am so sorry for your cousins loss.

This message was edited by Zoefus on 2-28-03 @ 11:54 PM

[HordeKing1]

Jasmine, at this point it's not confirmed that she had a miscarriage. It's possible, perhaps even probable, but it's not certain.

If she did miscarry, the best you can do for her, is to let her know that you're there, and spend time with her. Let her express her emotions whatever they are, and provide the special empathy and support that I know you excell at.

One of the issues she may have to deal with is "family expectations." It seems that there is a lot of pressure on her to have a baby. She may feel that by miscarrying she has let down the family. Obviously this isn't the case. If she expresses guilt or feelings of this nature, having a supportive person with her to assure her, that it is not her "fault" can be very comforting.

It's great that you're able to go to the dr with her. That will give her a lot of support. (Your actions don't surprise me at all though. You have displayed, countless times the highest standards of compassion.)

Please let me know how it turns out.

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[Jasmines Song]

It's great that you're able to go to the dr with her. That will give her a lot of support. (Your actions don't surprise me at all though. You have displayed, countless times the highest standards of compassion.)




You sure know how to make a lady smile ;-)

Thank you, HK...I will keep you updated.

http://members.aol.com/jasminestrings/jassig

"Be brave...be beautiful"