Madonna to write children's books

[Jennitalia]

LONDON - Singer, actor, now writer - Madonna (news - web sites) has taken up the pen.

Penguin Group announced Monday that the singer has written five illustrated story books for young readers aged 6 and above.

The first title, "The English Roses," will be published in hardcover in September and distributed simultaneously worldwide, Penguin Group said. No further details were given.

"Madonna is an artist with a universal appeal and these books will touch children of all backgrounds everywhere in the world," said chairman and chief executive John Makinson.


Penguin Group has bought the English language rights to the five books, each of which will feature a different celebrated illustrator, from Callaway Editions, the New York-based publisher of illustrated books, which will publish the books in the United States.

In all other English language markets, the books will be published by Puffin, the children's imprint of Penguin Group (UK).

Puffin is Britain's leading publisher of children's books; other children's authors on its books include Roald Dahl, Eric Carle, Raymond Briggs and Allan and Janet Ahlberg.

The Penguin Group is part of Pearson plc, the international media company.

Callaway titles have included many highly acclaimed illustrated books, including the best-selling "Miss Spider" series, written and illustrated by David Kirk and Hilary Knight's "When I Have a Little Girl/When I Have a Little Boy."



i wonder if these will be a children's version of the Sex book she wrote, ;)

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wanna pet my poopie?

[furie]

I heard her second title will be called Little Suzie and the night of oral delight.

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[Spoil-Sport]

Her third title will be "Horton Hears A Ho"

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[ChickenHawk]

Yeah, that's just greaaat. I'd really love for my kids to grow up reading books by this lady:
<IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/fathernoel/.Pictures/madonna.jpg">
*Note: Those leaves aren't in the original photo...

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*SIG CURRENTLY STUNTING*

This message was edited by ChickenHawk on 3-3-03 @ 10:17 PM

[mikeyboy]

Well, she's got the publishing experience. What was that coffee table book she did back in the 80's....oh yeah..."SEX".

[edited to note that dammit, that book was mentioned in the first post. My reading comprehension SUCKS]

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This message was edited by mikeyboy on 3-3-03 @ 10:20 PM

[satan-2]

your cunt, my cunt

by madonna

god is an absentee LANDLORD!!!

later

[grlNIN]

Desperately Seeking Santa




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[JustJon]

Desperately Seeking Schlong

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[erole]

I think one of the books is a childrens prayer book: "Like a Prayer" by Madonna. It's like a prayer, but not, where you pray to Madonna and see pictures of Madonna breast feeding Warren Beatty with her dunce cap teets.

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[Heather 8]

i wonder if these will be a children's version of the Sex book she wrote

Ack, SNL flashback!

''I like my vagina...''

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[golfcourseguy]

How a poor girl from Bay City works and trains to reach her dreams.
I think icon, I think icon

" editing posts since day one"

[TeRRoR]

she can show young girls how to become whores at a young age... give them diagrams on proper ways for masturbation.

show them all the different posititions during intercourse.

how to properly give a man a blowjob... and how to find that little button right between his cack and yambag.

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[Arienette]

give them diagrams on proper ways for masturbation.that's actually a really good idea. i think people (but especially women) would be a lot more healthy and comfortable with their becoming sexual if they had that sort of thing. if she doesn't write it, i might.


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[Jennitalia]

how to properly give a man a blowjob...



she already did that in Truth or Dare. I hope I turn out to be like her when I grow up

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wanna pet my poopie?

[Dewey]

Joe Queenan speculates on which books she might write:


Here are thumbnail descriptions of the books:

 "Little Red Riding Crop." An orphan raised by scheming trolls one day saves a whale from Japanese fishermen. In gratitude, the whale grants the child three wishes. The child's first wish is for singing lessons. The second is for dancing lessons. The third is for a magic riding crop she can use to work over the dancers in her nightclub act. Madonna believes the fable will introduce children to S&M in a user-friendly environment, while allaying fears that the inability to sing or dance will necessarily prevent them from succeeding in show business.

 "Ricco Has Six Mothers and at Least as Many Fathers." A child sets out to discover who actually brought him into the world, having been hoodwinked by his parents. After many adventures involving untrustworthy hermaphrodites, Ricco confronts the Old Man in the Mountain, and demands: "Who is my real father?" The Old Man in the Mountain replies: "Beats me; go ask my sister Shirley." Madonna believes that the story will encourage children to accept nontraditional marriages and stop asking where their real fathers are, as such questions are annoying.

 "The Empress's New Clothes." One day a cruel empress announces that henceforth every female in the kingdom must wear her underwear as her outerwear. For the next thousand years, the entire female populace parades around in slips and girdles. Everyone lives happily ever after. Well, at least the men. In Madonna's view, the story teaches children to stop worrying about putting on their clothes in the right order, because the very idea of clothing contains an implied value judgment about gender politics. Also, even poor people can afford underwear.

 "What Kind of Name Is Lourdes?" In this touching tale, a little girl attending a posh private school is ridiculed mercilessly because of her unusual name. Fleeing the catcalls of the Morgans, Jacksons and Rhumers, the little girl takes refuge among the humble poor folk, whose children all have names like Tiffany and Cody. Caught between a rock and a hard place, feeling like a fool, Lourdes hocks her castle in Scotland to purchase three wishes from an unscrupulous local genie. The child's first wish is that her mother's name be legally changed from Madonna to Hilda. The second is that her own name be changed from Lourdes to Fatima. Her third wish is for acting lessons for her mother.

Penguin has apparently rejected as too risqu‚ Madonna's proposals for "Puss in Black Leather Boots," "Sleeping Around Beauty," "Jack and Jill Visit Fanny Hill," "The Little Virgin That Could," and "Jack: the Snow Queen." But plans to bring out both "The Child's Decameron" and "The Story of Lil' O" are proceeding apace.

One other project being test-marketed is "Hansel and Hansel." This is the story of two boys who flee their horrible parents because they have saddled them with the most ridiculous names in the world. Seeking refuge in the Big Bad Woods, they encounter a generous warlock with a hooked nose that keeps collapsing. The warlock feeds them the remains of an ugly duckling--seemingly in an effort to fatten them up for the kill. He only asks that they wear veils over their faces lest the Big Bad Wolf learn their real identity. But one day the boys discover that the warlock is secretly a vegetarian and merely likes to have a lot of fat children around so he can stick his fingers in their mouths. The boys sue the warlock for $20 million and live happily ever after.


I think

"The Princess and the Pee"
"Little Red Riding Clitoral Hood"
"Humpty-Humpty"

all have possibilities. She should also write a whole series of books on the Cyclops. Who has more experience with the one-eyed monster than Madonna?


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This message was edited by Dewey on 3-6-03 @ 1:00 PM

[TheMojoPin]

Oh me, oh my, Madonna likes sex.

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2% "You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

[WRESTLINGFAN]

Her first book will simply be entitled SEX.... for Minors

Kinda makes you think when the #1 rapper is white and the #1 golfer is black

[XlalaX]

she can show young girls how to become whores at a young age... give them diagrams on proper ways for masturbation.

show them all the different posititions during intercourse.

how to properly give a man a blowjob... and how to find that little button right between his cack and yambag.




you just had to say something...didn't ya terror.

[ag]

I herd this story while flipping throught the radio Stations too. I Also herd that Madona wants to Rap. She is getting help From Missy Eliot. The thing is can you picture her rapping?

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[ADF]

Like a virgin, reading for the very first time.

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