Is there a relationship hierarchy in the middle class?

[FMJeff]

I am completely aware of hot girls flocking to rich guys...it makes perfect sense to me...but I've noticed lately there seems to be something similiar in the middle class. I would think the rules would be different when the playing field is leveled, but it seems like people of both sexes are always trying to squeeze out as much as they can out thier partner in terms of thier wealth, choice in careers, conviction of goals set, and passion for what you do.

It's not really a question I guess. I like this girl but I don't think I'm good enough for her because I'm not really doing what I want to be doing, I'm not happy doing what I'm doing now and I think girls pick up on that...they want that guy on the path....it's really shallow because I think I'm a good guy and I have a good personality and I'm damn funny...but that's not enough for the girls that interest me though...it's a weird paradox...

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[TooCute]

How about you go do what you want to be doing, THEN think about worrying about a girl?

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[silera]

"Girls are stupid and ugly"

Repeat that to yourself 100 x the next time one of these flaky, money grubbing, empty women catches your eye.



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[Jasmines Song]

I would be supportive of my lover no matter what his financial situation. I just need the sense of security. I also would like to see his/her confidence in pursuing whatever they wanted.

One thing that drove me nuts about my ex-bf was he complained that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life but did nothing about it.

But, not all girls are like that. Some may have grown up "poor" and have seen what it's like. Also, some have grown up somewhat wealthy or "comfortable" where they can't see themselves living any "lower".







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"Be brave...be beautiful"

[Doogie]

but I don't think I'm good enough for her because I'm not really doing what I want to be doing, I'm not happy doing what I'm doing now

I think the key thing here is the fact that you ARENT happy. Well I hate to be corny but you gotta do what makes you happy. People tend to be miserable in life cause they are always trying to make other people happy. Just make yourself happy...as the song says "If it makes you happy, it cant be that bad".

I always say that I know being a teacher I am not going to make big bucks. Material things NEVER mattered to me. To me it was always about happiness. And if that meant sometimes wearing things that are a lil old sometime, or something that is comfortable, then fuck it. I personally dont give a fuck what people think/feel/etc about me. People are generally miserable assholes anyway. I think it urks some people that I know/work with that I can find simple pleasures in life. Some people just cant cope with that concept.

Basically Jeff, just do what makes you happy. And dont worry about what people think. If they really appreciate you they will follow to any peak and valley.

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[FUNKMAN]

One thing that drove me nuts about my ex-bf was he complained that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life but did nothing about it.


Jasmine,

Well Said!


I have had a philosophy for a long time that most people are exactly where they want to be, or else they would change and be somewhere else...

I hear single guys complain that they wish they were married but in reality their looking for the girl that puts out, they kid themselves...

nobody likes a habitual complainer...


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[Jasmines Song]

nobody likes a habitual complainer...



AMEN!!!!

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"Be brave...be beautiful"

[tricia]

it's only natural for a girl to be more drawn to someone who is happy in life and headed on the path they want to be on. there's a difference between being materialistic and acting on natural survival instincts.

a guy who's down on himself and lacking in confidence just isn't going to be attractive to the opposite sex. it's just human nature, so you have to figure out what makes you happy in life and when that happens you'll be more attractive. and besides, there's plenty of girls out there who have no direction and don't know what they're doing either, but you probably don't notice them...

[HordeKing1]

In order to attract someone you have to be comfortable with yourself. How can you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself?

(The answer is that needy people find themselves and both get messed up more).

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[TheBrain007]

Money hungry bitches suck. If I "have to prove" to any women that I am "good enough" by buying them something or showing a high social status, I don't give them the time of day. The women that don't ask for things are the ones that I pay attention to and actually treat well.

<b>TheBrain007</b>
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

[Death Metal Moe]

Comfortable with myself?

I FUCKING RULE!!!!!!

I just have no job.

Chicks care too much about money no matter what class they fall into. Bottom line.

People are shallow. Life sucks. You are SERIOUSLY bumming me the FUCK OUT today Jeff.

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[JustJon]

If you're not happy, make changes. No one is going to fix things for you. And if you are down on yourself, no one else is gonna be able to pick you up.

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[Jennitalia]

i didnt know you were damn funny, jeff. :)
i dont care how much money a guy does or does not make. as long as he has a job, preferably doing something he really enjoys, and doesnt sit around all day not looking for a job.




And if you are down on yourself, no one else is gonna be able to pick you up.


yeah, but it helps to have somebody to lean on, or some type of support system when you're down or are going through a depression. but this is something you absolutely know nothing about, babe.

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This message was edited by Jennitalia on 3-4-03 @ 1:23 PM

[FMJeff]

Basically Jeff, just do what makes you happy. And dont worry about what people think. If they really appreciate you they will follow to any peak and valley.


I'd be happy making what I should be making...enough to move out...which in this economy is very, very difficult. I've been sending the resumes, going on the interviews...it just gets me bummed...I try but nobody's hiring...

it's just a general displeasure with the current state of affairs...that's all.


i didn't know you were damn funny jeff


You don't like me, do you?

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. </center>

[Jennitalia]

You don't like me, do you?



i was being funny. not damn funny, but funny.

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wanna pet my poopie?

[Dan]

I think no matter what anyone says, financial independence and, more importantly, the freedom to spend friviously and extravagantly, is very important to women...especially middle-class women.

This is in way a slam on women....as well they should be looking for this in possible mates. It makes complete sense and I don't begrudge them for a minute.

From my own experience, I had a job that I really enjoyed and a schedule that allowed for me to spend time writing and following my dreams. I was EXTREMELY happy with my situation. But, of course, I was not making much money and it definately put a strain on my relationship at the time. I wasn't poor by any means, but I didn't have the ability to spend a weekend in the city or go to fancy restaurants or anything like that. Eventually, this became a serious sticking point in my relationship at the time and surely had something to do with the breakup.

Since then, I've realised that I would be entirely unnattractive to women (at least the kind of women I'm attracted to) if I continued. So, I took on a position with a lot more time commitment in my company and I'm making a lot more money. I am still very happy, but I don't have any free time.

Will this change my luck with women? Probably not. But it will certainly not hinder my chances, like my prior situation was.

So, to answer your question, Jeff: yes. There is a relationship hierarchy in the middle class. Money can't buy you happiness but it can certainly stave off unhappiness for a while.

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[Kewlkat]

I try but nobody's hiring...



Maybe its time to go a different route....be creative and look in places you wouldnt normally think of looking. That's how I got the job I have now. I went in to talk to somebody about gettin into the field n the next thing I know they are mentioning that they were thinking of hiring someone.

Half the time I'm nice, half the time I'm not
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[Johnny Fontane]

I like this girl but...


Jeff, this is your assignment. Be charming. Be sincere. Be confident. Be intriguing. Tell this girl how beautiful she is, how special she is, but say it in a casual, detached sort of way, not in a "please love me" sort of way. Is she seeing anyone? Tell her you want to challenge him to a duel (how cute!) And don't forget to smile.

I think it was Kelly Bundy who once said, "if you think you're hot, others will too."

Jeff, do you think this girl has life all figured out? Puh - lease.

Good luck, budday. And if things don't work out, send her my way.



And then Johnny Fontane comes along with his olive-oil voice, and guinea charm.

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

the freedom to spend friviously and extravagantly, is very important to women...especially middle-class women.



How do you define "friviously and extravagently?" I'm a middle-class woman. To me, "friviously and extravagently" means spending $70 at a bar on beer.

In my opinion, and that is all it is, yes, there are golddiggers out there. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I have my OWN money and I pay my OWN bills. I've never been impressed by a man's wealth. As a matter of fact, I've been quite TURNED OFF by men who thought they could woo me with a large bank account.

I'd much rather be happy with someone who I can talk to and who "gets me," regardless of the bank account or job status.

It just all seems so silly. Men seem to define themselves by their jobs and women define themselves by their bodies.

It makes me laugh.

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thank you dcpete!

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[TooCute]

Men seem to define themselves by their jobs and women define themselves by their bodies.

Wait, so in other words I'm not allowed to remember you as 'the woman with the walnut-cracking thighs' anymore? :)

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[HAMMERHEAD]

You'll never be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself.

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[A.J.]

Men seem to define themselves by their jobs and women define themselves by their bodies.


That's a half-truth: I always identify myself as "a skinny Navy Department lackey."

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[FMJeff]

I think it was Kelly Bundy who once said, "if you think you're hot, others will too."


I will not take anything seriously from a man who quotes Kelly Bundy.

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. </center>

[Johnny Fontane]

I will not take anything seriously from a man who quotes Kelly Bundy.

That's MISS Kelly Bundy.

Bundy Bounce Fan From Day 1!

And then Johnny Fontane comes along with his olive-oil voice, and guinea charm.

[Dewey]

how cute!


Is that Too Cute's sister?

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[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I'm not allowed to remember you as 'the woman with the walnut-cracking thighs' anymore?


I'm Russian-- I thought THAT was a given! :-)

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thank you dcpete!

I'm a big wheel down at the cracker factory.