Can Jesus fly?

[Rodcheese Dangerscrotum]

Or shhot poisonous darts from his eyes? Can he speak backwards and stretch his arms real long like Mr. Fantastic? Does Jesus need to eat? Can Jesus grow to a 100 feet tall? Can jesus control ants by using his mind?

Help me I'm dying,
RodCheese

[adolescentmasturbator]

You are talking to HK here, the resident militant atheist. What do you think the answer will be?

I will get a sig pic...eventually

[Rodcheese Dangerscrotum]

I don't know? Do athiests think Jesus can control ants? I'm not sure. Maybe i should read more.

Help me I'm dying,
RodCheese

[Pootertoot]

Hey, I'm a militant atheist too!

Jesus, having to share his powers with the rest of the trinity, actually has very limited powers. Other than those already listed in the bible, he can:

-toast bread in under 15 minutes using only his hands

-Turn small pebbles into larger pebbles

-Make toenails grow at ASTONISHING rates

-Fool generations of people in to believing he actually existed despite a total lack of historical documentation outside of the bible

-Jump backwards great distances from a standing start

I hope this clarifies things.

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[HordeKing1]

No offense to anyone here; the views I'm expressing are mine and yours may differ.

If Jesus even existed, he did not have any supernatural or even super powers. He was a regular guy born of man and women. You know how I know? Because that's the ONLY way a child can be conceived. Sperm meets egg. That's it folks. And of course only organisms of the same species can reproduce. But perhaps people think humans are the same species as God. Cool.

Perhaps since Joseph and Mary were shacking up together before Jesus was born a simpler explanation might be found. LOL.

Superman, another fictional character has much cooler powers than any attributed to Jesus.



http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[HordeKing1]

Upon further consideration, I have to modify my reply.

If Jesus existed he could fly but only if he found the right 'shrooms.


http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[The Blowhard]

They don't make Jews like Jesus anymore.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/heck.gif

[Rodcheese Dangerscrotum]

What about Ron Silver?

Help me I'm dying,
RodCheese

[Circus Boy]

why doesnt jesus have super powers?....all the other superbestfriends did

<IMG SRC=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/piconspiracy/images/rfdan.jpg>
Circus Boy with the Grubby Mobile

This is my temporary sig. pic so i dont get chastised by JJ.

[Pootertoot]

Turn small pebbles into larger pebbles.


Sometimes I amuse myself.

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[HordeKing1]

POOTERTOOT - I think he'd have better luck changing a large rock into smaller rocks. All he would need is a magic hammer and chisel, blessed by god.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[reeshy]

would it be advisable to take Jesus with me ib my tax audit next monday?

i need a shower

[sunndoggy8]

Sometimes I amuse myself

Whose talking to themselves now?

<IMG SRC="http://home.att.net/~sunndoggy8/sunnysig1.jpg" width=300 height=80>

<font color="#0F00CD">~~~~"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."--E. Roosevelt~~~~</font color="#0F00CD">

[HordeKing1]

REESHY - Taking Jesus to the IRS is only advisable if you've claimed a bunch of religious deductions.



http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[Circus Boy]

anyway jesus is tax exempt he dont have to file shit

<IMG SRC=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/piconspiracy/images/rfdan.jpg>
Circus Boy with the Grubby Mobile

This is my temporary sig. pic so i dont get chastised by JJ.

[HordeKing1]

Unless you're a proctologist, shit is most likely taxable.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

[Charlie The Drops Kid]

Actually, jesus did have superpowers in that south park episode, remember he used his super carpentry skills learned from his father to build the mold for the giant john wilkes booth?

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<IMG SRC="http://nutritionalfacts.homestead.com/files/beam.jpg">

[Pootertoot]

Jesus was a good ventriloquist, but you could see his mouth move on Ms

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