The Blues

[Reephdweller]

For whatever reason I've really been in a sad mood of late. It could be that I'm suffering workplace stress, or just burnt out. I lost out on an apartment that I was looking to get. My friends have been great, this girl I've been seeing has been very supportive. Plus RFNet is always good at making me laugh. All in all, I should be content with things because of my friends and the support I've gotten. But yet I get these states of depression from time to time during the day. Not so much to make a person cry or anything, but enough to make me feel almost heartsick. Is there something I can do to get rid of this whatever it is? I've tried alcohol and while it eases the pain, it doesn't help.

Any suggestions as to what I can do to get this out of me?

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[HordeKing1]

REEFDWELLA - First things first. You wrote:

I've tried alcohol and while it eases the pain, it doesn't help.

Alcohol will not help you but it can seriously exacerbate a depressive state, or cause other problems, or if you're taking certain medications, kill you. Do not drink when depressed.


Your post shows that you recognize a number of positive factors in your life.
1. Your friends
2. Your supportive girlfriend
3. You enjoy your activities here - it makes you laugh.

However, you also recognize that you're in a really sad mood; expereincing "depression from time to time during the day" that make you feel "heartsick." You don't like this feeling.

You give several explanations for your mood
1. Workplace stress
2. Burn-out
3. Disapointment over the apartment


There isn't enough information here to even approach making a diagnosis; you should be seen clinically for that.

You entitled your post "the blues" Based on the information provided, I think that's a reasonable preliminary assessment.

It's terrific that you have positive things in your life and that you acknowlege them. Not everyone is able to. Nonetheless, you feel something lacking. You had the insignt to provide the information about why YOU feel you might have the "blues."

Workplace stress sucks. It can put you on edge for hours during the day, it can make you feel like you cannot accomplish your task, it can bring about a great deal of anxiety. Sometimes these feelings get turned inward and a person feels bad about themselves and even blames themselves for the situation they're in, instead of saying, "My job sucks right now." You also mention burn-out. If you're burned out (in work or about something else), it's very difficult to maintain an upbeat attitude. You feel pulled down or heartsick by the emptiness brought about by this feeling. Fortunately, this is probably the easiest to change. For example if you're burned out at work, consider a new job - especially since you're also stressed out.

You also talked about not getting the apartment you hoped to get. This seems like it needs to be explored in greater detail. How did you "lose out" on this apartment? What did the apartment represent to you? Where you moving out of home? Where you and your gf going to live there together? It may be the loss of things you associated with the apartment that upsets you more than the actual apartment itself.

Feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk about it in private.


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[Reephdweller]

HK, thanks for analysis. Generally I am a rock in terms of my emotions, but these last few months have seemed to me like my life is falling apart. I mean, like dreams fading away, and a job that is less than rewarding.

I took a few days off from posting because I was working out my issues. I had great friends who helped me tremendously and I feel 100% better. The apartment was very pivotal and important to me because it was very affordable. I made financially mistakes over the years that caused me to go into debt and live with my parents. I spent the last year clearing nearly all my debt away and getting myself back in order. I am physically fitter than I've been in years and have people in my life now who love me and emotionally support me.
Prior to this realization about my friends I felt very alone. Losing this apartment was difficult for me because I could have moved out and been free, but since I now have to hunt again, I have to do more saving and planning. I know I can make whatever moves I want in about a month, and it's comforting, but at the time I was so depressed it seemed like there was no light for me.

As for work, I've also come to realize I don't like what I do. I take care of the pc's in my office and maintain the network, install new systems and fix parts. But i realized that I hate it. I hate the work and I hate computers. I understand them, and how to fix them, but I hate the concept of having to fix them. My main area that always interested me was graphic arts. I think in order for me to really be happy I need to persue a career in that field. I have a website, so I'm begnning the stages of building a showcase of my work.

I feel good for the first time in a long time.

Thanks for the advice and offer of support, it means a lot.

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[HordeKing1]

I responded to this in private via e-mail. Of course, feel free to contact me anytime, and please keep me up to date.

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[Reephdweller]

i checked my email and it's not there. could you please resend it, go2osirus@yahoo.com.

thanks


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[HordeKing1]

Sure.

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