My Dad died while I was at Bar 9 last night.

[Hosp]

At 12:22 last night my father got up from bed and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later my step mother heard a thump and went and found my father passed out on the bathroom floor. She called an ambulence and after about an hour he was pronounced dead at Jacobi hospital. When I walked in the door of my apartment at 2, my mother and sister were rushing to get dressed and I knew something was wrong. We waited for my sister to come down from yorktown and then went to the emergency room. When we got there at 2:20, my step-mother was already gone and they showed us my father's body. There he was: pale, lifeless, with a resperator chord down his throat and a xerox paper taped to his chest that had his name and said D.O.A. person loses their life and their treated like a piece of trash waiting to be collected. After we were done at the hospital, my mother, sisters and me had to go tell my elderly, shut in grandmother that her lifeline to the world and only child was gone. She must have been in total shock. She just started repeating herself and never cried. We all sat up with her until 6, then everyone else left and and I stayed with her untill 11:30 this morning while my sister's went to my stepmother's and tried to help take care of things. Then just now after waking up from a nap, my mother's on the phone with my dad's lifelong friend who happens to be an insurance salesman, tells my mother that when he found out I was going to be born went out and got life insurance. My mother goes into talking about the problems I've been in lately and it made me feel like a worthless scumbag. I'd rather be paying off mounds of debt for the rest of my life instead of losing my father. Ever since my parents divorced when I was 5, me and my father tried to hang out at least once a week. From him I developed my love of movies and blood instinct to never pay anything but matinee prices. He was never a flashy person, wouldn't stand out in a crowd, but anytime we needed him he was always there for everyone. The saddest thing is that for the last few years, everyone he loved didn't love each other and that was the biggest dissapointment for my father. If you have something from the heart that you'd like to say, please do. Please don't give me three word responses that are more to see your sig on the screen then to show me support. But the most I can ask of you is to just think about me and my dad for a second because this is the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with ain my life and I'll need all the support I can get.

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<center>I'm a Driver,</center><center>I'm a Winner.</center><center>Things are going to change;</center><center>I can feel it!</center>

[hammersavage]

There's nothing I can say except I am deeply sorry and I'll be thinking about you and your family. Hopefully, you can forget about the last time you saw him and just remeber the good times you had because nothing can take that away.

<IMG SRC="http://www.craigsavage.com/Hammer(Christina).jpg">

eat me

[angrymissy]

Gary,

I'm so sorry to hear about this... I lost my mom very suddenly when I was 16, and I know there is nothing I can really say to make it feel better. If you need to talk or anything, or just get out, please feel free to get in touch with me. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

-Missy

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[Christy]

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!

I never check this board anymore, and when I do it's always bad news. Sweet Melissa's Dad, your Dad ... ugh!

I can honestly say, I know what you are going through ... I lost my Mom in January.

I will e-mail you my phone number, and PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give me a call ... anytime ... 2:56 AM is ya want! :-)

[Def Dave in SC]

Thats really a hard thing to her. I have very much the same relationshi with my dad, except i can only see him every month or so, since he lives in pittsburgh, and i live near DC.

I'm going up this friday, and i will make the most out of it. I'm not usually a really sympathetic guy, but this is really getting to me. I wish you the best and hope you make it thru this.


The Montgomery County Mobster
<img src="http://members.hometown.aol.com/gpigking/myhomepage/```def.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US">
Much Love to my Homie dcpete

Its Like Having a Football Helmet Inside Your Head

[AngelAmy]

hosp, youve always been there for me when i need a shoulder to lean on...youknow im always here for you whenever you need me. if you need to talk i can give you my number. i know this is hard, i lost two very close people to me last year and i know it's better to have people there for you.

<center>You can speak your mind but not on my time.
C*U*N*T
I'm doing the happy dance, I'm doing the happy dance.
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</center><marquee>[b]FOUNDING MEMBER OF RF.NET JEDI COUNCIL/FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE DC REED IS SENDING US TO JAIL CLUB/SECRETARY OF BANG/RF.NET UNION LEADER/PRESIDENT OF THE IRISH DIET SODA BREAD FAN CLUB/HEAD OF THE FEZ HAT CULT/FOUNDER OF THE PANTERA FAN CLUB/PASTY WHITE SKIN POWER/MIKEY D's #1 FAN GE GE GE/JERSEY RICH GROUPIE/1/3 OF WHAA/CO-STAR OF TOOKIE TOUR 2002/INSOMNIAC THREAD KEEPER/TREY PARKERHOLIC</marquee>

[grlNIN]

Gary, im so so sorry, i know theres really nothing i can say to make the pain youre feeling stop. I am here if you feel like talking,

Jesus Dont Want Me For A Sunbeam
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<center>And if you don't agree with me, fuck you too, cause you forced-happy motherfuckers make me just as sick.-FTL
</center>

[fatty]

Gary,
Hey brother, i am truly sorry for your loss. People don't get to be as cool as you are without being raised right by someone, and for that i know you're dad is the money.

as much as me and my father fought growing up, and as much as didn't want to be like him, i realize now that i couldn't be more like my dad if i tried. even if you never got to tell him how you really felt, or feel like you didn't tell him enough, trust me, he knows how you feel.

i hate that this happened and i hope you are doing alright but i have no doubts you will be okay in the end. this time sucks right now but you have a good group of family and friends who love you who would do anything for you.

you're one of my favorites budday, i honestly hope you are okay.

III

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/notorioussig.jpg>
<marquee>Money, ho's and clothes, bluntsmoke coming out the nose. Is all that Fatty knows.</marquee>
Aggie's straight up money
SilentSpic.com

[erole]

Damnit Gary, I'm so sorry.
It was good to see that you two made time to be together. It is so important to do, and you two did it.
I was never really close to my father. My brother was the apple of his eye growing up. When I left the house, I never really kept close with him. As a matter of fact, there was a period of 4 years silence between the two of us. You are so wonderfully lucky and blessed to have a relationship with him that spans the canyon that lives between me and my own father.
And don't you worry about him being disappointed that there is no love between his loved ones. He's looking down now, smiling, knowing how much closer the ones he loves are going to get because of this.
In time, the best of him will come to your memory. And in time, the best of yourself will shine and give honor to your father and your family.
With prayers and heart felt wishes,
Jason

If you need anything, erole@msn.com
Anything for a sausage fest brother.

<IMG SRC="http://members.hometown.aol.com/frigginbooger/myhomepage/rensig.jpg">
~he knows a little of everything
and a lot about nothin'

[HordeKing1]

I'm sorry for your loss. If you need to talk privately e-mail me.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/rnfpantera/hking1">

[FatTony]

Hosp, I know probably don't even know who I am but I want to give you my heart felt condolences for the loss of your father. I know alot of us know how hard it is to lose someone you love. You are going to be going through some hard times for the next couple of months, but the only advice I can give to you is to surround yourself with people who you care for and who care about you.

<IMG SRC="http://hometown.aol.com/antandone/fattony3.jpg" WIDTH=300 HEIGHT=100>

"They always win in the end."

[TheMojoPin]

After reading this, I gave my dad a call at work and told him that I loved him for the first time in months. Sorry I don't have more to add, and I'm deeply sorry for your loss, but it's what I felt I should do...it's what I WANTED to do...

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
2% << FREE YERDADDY! >> "You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Reephdweller]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My dad and I have been on bad terms for a while now. And even though my father was in the wrong with what happened between us, I feel compelled at times to be the better man and try and smooth things over. If anything does it, it's your post. Things with my family are very similar as well.

I'll never understand why hospital staff allow themselves to be so emotionally turned off that they become callus of the people they are there to care for. I know you have to to some extent turn off your emotions, but not your humanity. I remember the way my mother was treated when she was in the hospital so i know exactly where you're coming from.

<IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=go2osirus">


This message was edited by reefdwella on 4-9-03 @ 8:57 PM

[SuperClerk]

I'm very sorry to hear that Hosp. My prayers are with you and your family. My father died when I was only 13. He was living in New Mexico at the time. I know how hard it can be when you couldn't be at his side.

<img src=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/superclerktemp.gif>
Thanks to Toddevf for sig pic

This message was edited by SuperClerk on 4-9-03 @ 9:07 PM

[zim]

I'm sorry to hear that. Your dad sounds like a good man. I'm sure hes in a better place now. May the tall ones bless your family.



:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:):):):):):)....blowing stuff up is fun!

[jamesdiggy]

Gary, you have my deepest sympathies. Words don't come easy and are never enough in times like these. Be strong and my thoughts are with you.

<IMG SRC="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/diggy.gif">

I am now blessed with an ADF sigpic

[JerseyRich]

I am sorry to hear of your loss Gary.
I wish you and your family the best and I want you to know that my thoughts are with you.

<IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=JerseyRich">
<a href=http://www.richstillwell.com>RichStillwell.com</a>

[RF Godfather]

Gary,

My deepest sympathies. I'm real sorry bud to hear about your dad. I really don't know what to say. Just know I have you, your dad and your family in my prayers.

Hang tough, bro.

Joey

http://members.aol.com/ronfezmark/myhomepage/rfnetmarknew.gif
<marquee>"Doesn't matter what you say or do, people can always find a way to call you a dick!" - Dave Attell</marquee>

This message was edited by RonFez Mark on 4-9-03 @ 9:42 PM

[ShelleBink]

hosp, i'm absolutely speechless, and it goes without saying that if you need ANYTHING please do not hesitate to ask.

<i>...why are you all looking at me like that?</i>

<center><b><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE="2"><FONT COLOR="#FF8040">I</FONT><FONT COLOR="#EC8653">R</FONT><FONT COLOR="#D98C66">I</FONT><FONT COLOR="#C59379">S</FONT><FONT COLOR="#B2998C">H</FONT><FONT COLOR="#9F9F9F"> </FONT><FONT COLOR="#9F9F9F">F</FONT><FONT COLOR="#849A84">A</FONT><FONT COLOR="#6A946A">C</FONT><FONT COLOR="#508F50">T</FONT><FONT COLOR="#358A35">I</FONT><FONT COLOR="#1A841A">O</FONT><FONT COLOR="#007F00">N</FONT></FONT></b><br>
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<marquee>
<font color=white>GHOST POST</font></marquee>

[Friday]

Gary...

First of all....Jim and I both send you our support and strength. We were glad to be able to spend time with you last night and to see you out and enjoying yourself. I think your dad would have liked to see that as well...and I am sure he did in some ways.

Second...I will send you and email with my contact info. If you need anything at all...please call me.

I am so sorry ... I can not offer words of advice.... just a listening ear and a comfy shoulder.

Love you.
T

<img src=http://czm.racknine.net/images/friday.gif>

Sig by the one and only CZM...owner and proprieter of the Vomit Express!


Shhh....I hear something stupid...

[fluffernutter]

I want to wish you the very best and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

<IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=fnutter">

<marquee behavior=scroll direction="left" scrollamount="7">When they broke down the door/and put their guns in the face of your wife and child/and as they pinned you to the floor/did you say "officer,/i am not resisting you."?/American Justice american dream/is this what ' the other half ' means/half of our lives dissolved in fear/half of our rights they disappear/is our apathy so corrosive/where does the cycle start/hear the sirens screaming out in the distance/hold your family close to your heart/American Justice American Lies/a war of words that I despise/I wish the good cops If they exist/the very best/and a bullet for all the/complications injustice deliberations what's the deal/they fake it, we break it,/and take back what they steal/we could rise black and white/unbound and make them pay/for every tear, for every fear, defend our yesterdays/when they dropped the bomb on the building to kill a MOVEment/did they care where the rights of the murdered went/police terror in the eyes of the children/police terror in the streets of every town/where's our freedom when the sun goes down/and will the houses that the landlords built/keep out the bullet sound/American Justice American Lies/a racist prison/anaesthetized/I wish the good cops If they exist/the very best and a bullet for all the . . ./so we try/to defend/together/defend our yesterdays/, defend our tomorrows/together together</marquee>

[F1Gm3nT]

hosp Im sorry to hear what happend... I can't say anything but that and well if ya need to talk to someone holla at me

<IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=f1gm3nt">

"Hay que endurecerse pero sin perder la ternura jamas." -
Ernesto " El Ch‚ " Guevara

2%

[blakjeezis]

Gary, you have my deepest, sincerest condolences. I cannot imagine the pain you and your family are going through. I wish all of you the strength and love to get through this together. You will all be in my prayers.

<IMG SRC =http://www.blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/blakjeezis2.gif>
ADF in da hizzy!
If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!
<marquee><font color=red>2%</font color=red> - White people are so scared of blakjeezis - <font color=red>2%</font color = red></marquee>

[Contra]

Gary budday, sorry to hear about this. its hard to believe we were just talking last night with our mindless bable, and then this happens. in anycase i wish you the best and hope you come to terms with this successfully. you know we are all here for you.

Another Contra and LSP joint production
<img src=http://members.aol.com/toddevflsp/images/contra4.gif>
The Fate Of Destruction Is Also The Joy Of Rebirth

[windowlck]

Gary,

I want to offer you my deepest condolences. I can only imagine what it must be like to loose a father. There's not much i can think of that could make you feel better, but if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you.

Please keep us posted on the arrangements.

[A.J.]

The saddest thing is that for the last few years, everyone he loved didn't love each other and that was the biggest dissapointment for my father.


Hosp, I'm very sorry for your loss. If any good can come out of this I hope your family will make peace with each other.

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/ajdcsig.jpg">

A Skidmark production.

http://www.internerd.com/frink.retired/frinkv.2/stuff/littlepc.gif

[Arienette]

i am so sorry to hear about your father's passing. i think it's beautiful, though, how close you've been with him. it is so important to show the ones that we love how we feel while we have the chance. your father died knowing that you love him. in the few times that i've met you, i know that you're a good guy. i'm sure he knew that, too, and was proud to have you as his son. you both will be in my thoughts.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/arisubway.gif" height=100 width=300</img>

we hope your rules and wisdom choke you</center>

[Geppetto]

Gary,
I know there is never really a right thing to say at a time like this. I have had a few health scares with my parents over the last year and it really makes you think, but nothing like this. I can't immagen the pain you must feel. Just know that you and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of all of your friends. If there is anything I can do or anything you need just let me know.

<IMG SRC =http://www.blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/geppetto.gif>

[Dewey]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad that you two had a good relationship. Those memories will stand you in good stead through many hard times.

May God bless and comfort your father and your family.

<IMG SRC="http://www.agw-werbeartikel.de/images/easy-rider.jpg"><br>"Still searching for America."

[DreamWeaver]

Gary,
I am so sorry. I can't believe this has happened to you and your family. You all have had a hard time lately and it's difficult to imagine that it could get worse. Things can only get better for you from now on, trust me. It will take time but your life will work itself out. I wish I knew the right things to say but I don't. You have been a great friend to me over the years and you mean alot to me. Please call me anytime . I will do anything for you.

http://blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/ginani.gif

[FUNKMAN]

Gary,

Be Thankful for the time you were able to share and Stay Strong and Proud, it's what your Dad would want you to do...

I'm not one to believe in the "their in Heaven or their in a better place" theory but if his spirit is watching he would be much happier to know that you are doing alright!

Best Wishes To You,

Ron

<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

[pinkyfloyd]

Reading your post, Hosp, has got me thinking about my own situation in life. My parents were never married, my mom lives in Jersey, my dad lives down in Miami-I have never met my father. About 3 weeks ago, I got up my courage and sent a letter to my father, not knowing what to expect. I didn't know whether he would just ignore me or, write me a note telling me to fuck off. He sent me the most beautiful letter I've ever received. He was very gracious, and, he told me something that just blew me away: I have 2 half sisters. I never knew this before. This whole new world has been opened up to me. My father said in his letter that he wants me to call or write to him again. I've been wondering if I should be upset with him for never being there for me when I was a kid. But, I don't want to hold any grudges, I just want to get to know him, because you only have one father. Your story, Hosp, is providing me with extra incentive to develop some kind of relationship with my father. You never know when they'll be gone, so you'd better spend time with them and get to know them as much as you can, because learning about your parents, is learning about yourself. My heart goes out to you Hosp. Best wishes to you and your family.

pinkyfloyd: Waging War Against The Sigpic Since April 2002.

Oh, by the way, which one's pinky?

I am a straight girl, not a gay guy.

Back 'n jack. Alright?!

[Gwen]

Gary,

I want you to know that you are a very dear friend of mine and I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I know there is really nothing that anyone can say that is going to help lessen the pain you are feeling, but please know that many of us hold you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

I have missed you on the last couple of outings and just chit chatting over the phone, so please know if you ever need to talk, no matter what the hour, you know how to find me and I'll gladly lend an ear as you've always done so kindly to me. If you need to just get out and get away for a little, give me a call and perhaps we can go get some dimsum.

I wish I were more eloquent or more comforting, but please just know you're in my thoughts and I'm here for you if and when you need anything.

Deepest sympathies,
Gwen

<img src=http://dynamitediva.50megs.com/afrosig.gif>
<b>Cheers, Fuckface!</b>

[FMJeff]

My deepest sympathies for your loss, Hosp.

<center><img src="http://members.aol.com/sabanj666/ass.gif">
<br>
It made my heart sing.</center>

[The Chairman]

Hosp,

So sorry to hear about your father. Try to remember the good times and not you last view of him in the hospital. You have a great support network; don't be hesitant to use it. If there's anything I can do, please do not hesitate to contact me.

You are in my thoughts. Stay strong.

Grant

<img src = http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/kagastinksig.jpg>
2%


slanted and enchanted...
a skidmark production sig!

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Gary,

My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Losing a parent is one of the hardest things to happen to us. I've lost both. I know it's hard to imagine that that person is no longer there, but eventually we adjust and move on. Everyone's grieving process is different. I lost my dad in 1988 and I *still* think about him. I also remember what he looked like in the hospital; but that really wasn't who is was. I have memories of him being silly and compassionate and loving.

So hang on to each other. You are in my thoughts.

<IMG SRC="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/gpigking/myhomepage/alicesig.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US">
thank you dcpete!

I'm a big wheel down at the cracker factory.

[DJEvelEd]

I'm very sorry. It's not an easy time but at least you and your father had a solid relationship. I met my father once before he died and regret never really knowing him so be thankful for the memories you have with him because many of us don't even have the memories you have. My condolences to you and your family.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Big bird is Ferrall's bitch
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Doogie]

Gary,

I dont think that anyone can assuage your berevement period right now with words. People are here for you if you need anything including myself. But that will not be enough, and perhaps never enough, to fill in the void that you are feeling right now...

What you should be proud in is the fact that you do have pleasant memories of your father, and that he raised a good, stand up person like yourself. That his memory will be remembered everytime that you laugh or smile or even cry. That he was able to impart his non flashy ways onto you as well.

I can offer you some words that I feel do help to attone for your loss:

Fill not your heart with pain and sorrow, but remember me in every tommorow. Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles and although my leaving causes pain and grief, my going has eased my hurt and given me relief. So dry your eyes and remember me, not as I am now, but as I used to be. Understand in my hearts, I've only gone to rest a little while. As long as I have the love of each of you, I can live my life in the hearts of all of you.

<IMG SRC=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/doogie.gif>
ADF Fan since day one...this sig rocks!!!
"Impossible is only the failure of imagination"
<marquee behavior=alternate>The Jedi Master and an incredible hound dogga</marquee>

[Kewlkat]

I am truly sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies are with you and your family. If you need to talk or anything rfmail me an i'll give ya my info.

http://wwfallon.homestead.com/files/nj1a.gif
thnx to irishkb, nice work bud

[JustJon]

Hosp,

My condolences. You know how to get in touch with me if you need anything.

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon8.jpg">

[Cybersoldier]

I am sorry for you lost Hosp, if you ever need to talk I'm here man.

<IMG SRC="http://cybersoldier.iwarp.com/images/cybersoldier.gif">
thank czn
SAVE RON AND FEZ
WRITE YOUR LETTER TO SUPPORT RON AND FEZ TODAY!!!!!!! let try to get them on K-rock
Mel Karmazin
President and Chief Operating Officer C/O Viacom 1515 Broadway
New York, NY 10036
(212) 258-6000

This message was edited by Cybersoldier on 4-10-03 @ 7:39 PM

[legroommusic]

Gary

sorry for your loss. I'm not a threadsmith and I find writing things like this very awkward. I hope you and your family can make it through

[Hosp]

Thanks for all your kind words. I'm am physically and emotionaly drained at this point. Tomorrow morning is his funeral and then I think I'm sleeping for 4 days. My grandmother keeps saying loudly that my stepmother was the bitch that killed him, even to members of my stepmother's own family. My stepmother, however, has finally started talking to me and my sisters after 3 years. I've had 30 people at least come up to me and say that I look just like my father and they all remember me from when I was knee high running around in the building he worked at. It was amazing the number of people who showed up. I've never realized how popular my father was.

As some of you saw, my email isn't working anymore and you'll need to get to me through RFmail. And I am going to need to do something soon, I broke down this morning standing in JC Penny when I was buying a shirt for the funeral and if I don't relieve some stress soon I may explode. And some of you will be hearing from me, just when I have time.

<center><IMG SRC="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=Hosp">
<center>I'm a Driver,</center><center>I'm a Winner.</center><center>Things are going to change;</center><center>I can feel it!</center>

[wilee]

Gary,

It pains me to hear that you lost your father. I know that words probably aren't much comfort for you, but know that there's real caring and respect behind them from everyone who has expressed their sympathies. I wish you and your family the best. You can contact me if you want to talk.



<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/wilee.jpg">

[ag]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones Gary

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[GrimSanity]

sorry to hear about your loss hosp. i know how it feels man as do many on this board.

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/vikorynotvengnce/images/grimsanity3.gif>

Real serial killers carry an ax watching there heads drip like candle wax and your labled just another victim.

[Fallon]

Sorry Hosp.

<center><img border=1 src="http://wwfallon.homestead.com/files/RFnet51.jpg"><font color=#0033FF>
"Once it hits your lips it's so good!"</font>
<b>-Frank the Tank</b></center>
<font color=#FFFFFF>

[horsehead]

I am so sorry for your loss and extend my most heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you and your family. The loss of any individual close to you is always difficult, but the loss of a parent must be the hardest. As was said by others, just try to remember the wonderful things about your father...forget about the last time you saw him in the hospital. Celebrate his colorful and eventful life and know that where he is, he feels no pain. Be well.

- Horsehead

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[Shecky]

Sorry for your loss Hosp

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.


PRAY FOR THE BRAVE ONES!!!!

Later On,
SHECKY

[Hosp]

Yesterday was my father's funeral. We opened the casket and made him look like he usually looks instead of how they made him look. Then everyone wanted me to have my father's chain, but I would only take it if they let me put his Star of David charm in his pocket so we could share it. My sister once told me that when they were at his uncle's funeral, one of my father's cousins did a non-serious eulogy and my father told her he wanted one done for him. His best friend of 40 years went and he was very serious which I didn't expect. He was quoting scripture and verse and even though he has the exact same sense of humor as my father, he didn't ease up at all, and that's not my father's way. So I went up and spoke, I only remember a few things that I even said. I remembered that my father once took me, my sisters, my stepsister, and my stepmother to see the movie "My Girl". At the end of the movie there was a scene of McCauley Culken's funeral. My father looks around and sees that everyone was crying (Including him) except for me. So he smacks me in the back of my head and asks what's the matter with me and why I wasn't crying. I told him that the last time I cried was when my grandfather died when I was 14 and I'm not going to cry over a stupid movie. But I've been doing a lot of crying since Wednesday morning. I also said that my father was always more concerned with taking care of others, even at his own expense. The last day we spent together was all about making sure I was taken care of. He picked me up and drove me to an interview for a job that I ended up getting to make sure I could support myself, then he drove me up to the Kmart in White Plains to get me a new pair of shoes (And yes, I do have my father's fashion sense) so I would be comfortable when I started my new job, and then we passed a Poppa John's pizza place and because I said I never had it, we picked up two pies, went over to the White Plains Bowling ally parking lot and ate most of them so he made sure I experienced new things. That's just some of the stuff that I said because I can't remember anything else of it, but I know I didn't say everything I wanted to. But after the service a lot of people came up to me and said it was incredible. Even later in the day when people didn't know I could hear them, I heard them still talking about it. So after the cemetery, my sisters arranged for us to go to my stepmother's house and they made me be the one to ask her. She refused and wanted to be dropped off at home. So me and my brother in law did that and then went and joined everyone at my stepmother's house. I barely made it 10 feet into the house. I sat on the futon they had in the foyer and didn't move for 3 hours. I had a little to eat, but I barely spoke to anyone. As I was leaving I hugged my stepmother and she said she was sorry for everything and didn't mean for anything to happen. Later in the day when we called to check on my grandmother, she was screaming that she disowned us because we went to be with that bitch instead of being with her. She would have taken us out to a restaurant. Of course she forgets that we offered for her to come and at the time she said nothing about having an alternative. I didn't care where I was; no place was going to make me feel better. It's not like I was jumping around and partying. My grandmother chose not to be a part of our lives for a long time because my mother decided to raise us catholic, and she only wanted to after my grandparents on my mother's side were both dead. She even tried to say something disparaging about them when we were driving her home yesterday and I just tuned her out. Since this all happened, I've spent about 10 hours alone with her and all she had to say how everyone did her wrong. She even tried to invite herself back into my mother's family at the funeral home even though she had nothing nice to say about my grandparents.

I'm rambling now, and I'm just weak and tired so I'm going to stop. But I do want to say that I let my mother read all of the stuff

[yarpwizard]

I'm sorry for your loss Hosp. I haven't been on for a few days so I didn't know. May God bless you and your family at this time of loss.
I'll include you in my prayers.

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A mind is a terrible thing to dyworf.

[LatinSpiceXoX]

Sweetie, I am so sorry.. one for getting the news so late and being one of the last ones to share kind words.. and two for your loss.

You are such a great person, very humble and honest and I'm glad I've gotten to know you, and if you are anything like your dad (which it seems that you are), the world and your family have sincerely lost a great human being.

I love you as a friend, and I want you to know that I am here for you. If you want to talk, or anything.

I can't remember the last time that I lost someone I loved that much... so I won't say that I know how you feel, cuz I don't.

But I will thank you for being very brave and sharing with us this extremely personal and emotional experience and for being real with us about your need for support.
There isn't a better group of people, than your rf.net friends, to be here for you when you're down.

I also want to thank you for making me realize that I need to make amends with my dad, cause it's been way too long that him and I don't talk.

I hope you are getting rest and eatting right, don't want you getting sick on us, you know?

Whether or not you believe in God or Prayers, I will be praying for you and asking God to bring you and your family peace.

*hugs*

"The Chewing Gum-Popper <a href="http://hometown.aol.com/latinspicexox/Latin.html">CHICK!</a>"
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[Raven]

Gary , wanted to give my deepest condolences to you and yours, I'm sorry I'm a lil late but I have been on a mental Vac from all Web boards -- I lost my did in 96 so I know what you are feeling and the thing about the insurance, just remember Dads take it to make sure you will be fine if anything happens to them, it is a way of covering the ones you love most, so he was looking out for you even in the worst possible area. If you need anything look me up.
RJ

http://members.aol.com/njtab25/Ravennew02a

[Jennitalia]

Gary, I'm so sorry about your father. Your family has my deepest sympathies.

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wanna pet my poopie?

[Aggie]

Gary,
It's taken me awhile to respond in this thread because I'm really unsure of what to say. I am truly sorry and saddened by the news of your father's death. I can't imagine what you are feeling. I have been praying for you and your family and I hope you have found some comfort in this difficult time. You are a very kind, caring person and a true friend to people and we will be there for you now like you are for others when they need you.

I recently experienced the death of my two grandmothers and I will be honest, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with, and they weren't a parent. If you need me for ANYTHING, please ask, that's what friends are for. I will call you soon.
Deepest sympathy,
Lorena

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[Green Lantern]

Gary, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You have my deepest and heart fulled sympathy.

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We came, We saw, We kicked it's ASS!!!

[ladygodiva]

Gary- I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

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