Dear Cecil:
What causes a person to shiver uncontrollably following
urination (i.e., "piss shiver")? My friends and I have
wrestled with this for years even to the point of
consulting medical authorities (they didn't know either).
We currently have two theories. One is the Rapid Heat
Loss Theory which states that an uncontrollable shiver
passes over the body following the rapid loss of several
ounces of 98.6 degree liquid. This theory seems to
have good face validity but as far as we can tell
females do not experience piss shiver, which puts a
hole in that idea. Our second theory is the Mini-Orgasm
Theory, which states that a man's penis is used for two
major activities: urination and sexual activity. When a
man urinates, the two functions cross briefly and he
experiences a mini-orgasm that causes his body to
shiver uncontrollably. Is either one ofthese correct, or is
there a third theory we haven't thought of? Pleae help,
Cecil. --Patrick Cormack, Dallas, Texas
Dear Patrick:
I know I promised I wouldn't answer this disgusting
question, but my will is weak. Besides, the subject has
been debated on alt.fan.cecil-adams off and on for
weeks, and even though no firm conclusions have been
arrived at (par for the course on the net), the least I
can do is give an interim report. We've made progress
on one front:ÿ someone came up with an
impressive-sounding name. Peter H. M. Brooks
proposes post-micturition convulsion syndrome, or
PMCS. Sure beats "piss shiver." Maybe now we can
apply for a big federal grant.
The following key facts have also been unearthed:
1. Women--some, anyway--also experience PCMS.
2. That's it.
Theory productivity has been a little better. Here's what
we've got so far:
* Heat loss due to several ounces of warm fluid leaving
the body. Maybe, but then why don't we experience it
during defecation, vomiting, etc.?
* Heat loss due to exposure of the nether regions. Not
likely; as one netter points out, babies snugly clothed
in diapers may be observed to experience PMCS.
* It's caused by the passage of spermatozoa into the
urinary canal. Guess that explains why it happens to
women.
* It dates back to pre-civilization days when men
hadn't learned to do their own shaking. Attributed to
George Carlin. What a comedian.
* It's all the fault of the parasympathetic nervous
system. The parasympathetic nervous system is up
there with the Babylonians as the default explanation
for anything you can't think of a good reason for (e.g.,
photic sneeze reflex, closing your eyes when you
sneeze), but I throw it in for the sake of completeness.
Your mini-orgasm theory sounds like a baroque version
of this.
End of transmission. Lame, I know, but what are you
going to do? Cecil can't figure out everything. I'd
convene a special session of the Straight Dope Science
Advisory Board, but they're still sleeping it off from our
last symposium. Contributions from the Teeming Millions
cordially invited.
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_
225.html
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