My Boyfriend gambles. Alot.

[deepend]

My boyfriend is a compulsive gambler. He will spend 3/4 of his paycheck the day he gets it on scratch-off and Pick3/4/6 lottery tickets. I think the greatest day of his life was when they added the 'mid-day drawing' to the NJ Lottery. Now, he is fully aware of his problem. He gets all pissy and miserable when he thinks of the cash he's lost. I get pissy and miserable when he'd rather buy an entire roll(he's done this twice) of tickets than save some cash so we can have a good summer. I'll be damned if I'm paying for his sorry ass. I'm already a fool for buying him cigs and drinks later in the week when he's broke. How do you deal with a compulsive gambler? Is there any hope? The whole 1-800-Gambler thing is a crock. It's just an automated message telling where you can reach local GA meetings which he would never be caught dead at. Is there anything I can do to help? I'm starting to go broke from him!

The only problem with reality is the lack of background music

[stickyfingers]

well, I must admit gambling is something that I am no stranger to. Its a disease and I have it. Now that I know that I have it, its a lot easier to deal with. But, I would be nowhere if it wasn't for my girlfriend. (this is where you come in) She helped me through a rough time a couple of months ago when i was spending roughly 20/4 of my paycheck on gambling. She would get so pissed at me if i went back to gambling and explain to me that i was dissapointing her and she asked me 'how would you(me) feel if i told my(her) parents about this?' That made me realize that I was actually embarrassed about what I was doing. Therefore, I knew it was wrong. I have since controlled my gambling but not stopped entirely. Its really alot tougher than you would probably think. Its a way of life for some people. People who are not addicted probably think its a poor excuse and thats understandable but I must admit I could not have done it on my own. (this is where you come in) Gambling on the lottery and losing is not really something i was into. But rather gambling on sports, trips to AC, horse racing, which ant will crawl across the floor faster, you know the usual.





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[mdr55]

Give him some tough love and tell him to get lost until he gets some help or something. Don't buy him anymore stuff (Cigs and beer) if he throws away his money on lotto tixs or whatever. Let him cut down on buying tix, if he wants to get his own cigs and beer. I went to GA twice and all they did was share war stories. Didn't help that much.

[DarkHippie]

He should talk to Billy

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[East Side Dave]

the only problem with reality is the lack of background music



Oh silly, the mute button is probably on. Just take a number 2 pencil and use it to click the button above your-......wait, you are a droid, aren't you?

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[Heavy]

ok well youll have to do something....start by saying you're gone unless you get to help him by controling the money. I dont know how close yous are but if its apporopriate you should take the cash every week and basically give him an allowance. If he says no, then dump him.

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[TheMojoPin]

You're dating Michael Jordan?

"I call him 'GAMBLOR'!!!"

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This message was edited by TheMojoPin on 5-21-03 @ 12:00 AM

[Death Metal Moe]

I'll bet ya a GRAND I can stop gambling!

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[HordeKing1]

DEEPEND - Compulsive gambling is very serious and your boyfriend needs help.

I must point out, that your behavior is enabling his. You wrote that he spends the bulk of his money on lottery tickets (a tax on the mathamatically challenged).

However, he doesn't have to deal with the consequences of his reckless spending, since you buy him cigarettes and drinks until the next paycheck roles around at which time the cycle repeats. (Note that cigarettes and alcohol are not good thing for anyone with compulsive behavior).

You might find it hard to do so, but you have to stop enabling him. Make him face up to the consequences of his actions. If he spends the money on gambling, he'll have to do without his drugs (cigs and alcohol).

Since he recognizes it as a problem, he may be ripe for some kind of intervention. There are "gamblers annonymous" programs, but I feel they're just as ineffective and send the same bad message as AA. (Anyone with the slightest type of feminist leanings does not agree with the philosophy behind these pograms). Yet it is an inescapable conclusion that they are effective for some people. However, you wrote that your bf wouldn't attend one of these type of groups.

He definitely needs to see a therapist. His compulsion will not disappear on its own. He should ideally also attend support groups. You can easily find one in your neighborhood by putting the terms "gambling support groups (+ your city)" into Google.


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[deepend]

Thanks for all the advice folks...I realize that I feed into his addiction. It's basically that I think I should get the things I want since I actually have some cash, and I'm just a sucker for a grub. Time to toughen up. This is getting rediculous. Thanks again....

The only problem with reality is the lack of background music

[Def Dave in SC]

I'll bet ya a GRAND I can stop gambling


Whats the over/under on that Moe?

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[FUNKMAN]

it somewhat amazes me how people rationalize losing money...

Most people that i know that go to Atlantic City have "in their mind" lost the 100 or 200 dollars they plan to bring before they even get there... they say things like "if i get to play a good while I'll be happy"

Then in almost all cases if someone gets ahead and is winning some money "for that visit" they will gamble til they give it back and usually some of their own money. Very few people have the will power to quit while ahead... If they do get ahead and lose it back they try to justify it by saying "I was playing with House money"
House Money? They forget about the thousands they lost from their prior visits...

It's like a drug addiction... the first high is like when you won your first bet... then you are always trying to regain that feeling...

the problem is the "odds" are NEVER in your favor ALTHOUGH if you bet straight up it is always a 50/50 chance, you land on either side of the win/loss column or the over/under column...

it is just UNBELIEVABLE how many more times you come out on the losing end of a 50/50 chance...



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[FiveB247]

I'll bet you 2-1 he doesn't stop.

Gotta run...it's post time.(horn sounds)

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[HordeKing1]

FUNKMAN - You're absolutely right. Gambling may be as powerful an addiction as alcohol or controlled substances.

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