Se7en
06-06-2003, 08:06 PM
I thought I'd post something silly instead of the usual political back and forth debate.
So, enjoy the following, or don't enjoy it, I'm just trying to add a little levity.
Ashcroft Asks Congress for Wonder Twin Powers
(2003-06-05) -- U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft asked Congress today to increase the Justice Department's effectiveness in fighting terrorism by granting his staff so-called "Wonder Twin Powers."
The special powers, previously only available to Super Friends Zan and Jayna, would allow teams of Justice Department lawyers to assume the shape of almost anything that can be made of water, ice or steam, or the form of any animal.
"We saw in the 1970s how effective Wonder Twin Powers can be," Mr. Ashcroft told the House Judiciary Committee. "I'm asking permission to put these crime-fighting tools to work to make America safer."
Under the Ashcroft proposal, government lawyers would wear special rings, and would have to travel in pairs so they could make ring-to-ring contact to "activate" the powers at a moment's notice.
To control costs, Mr. Ashcroft said, the proposal does not include funding for hundreds of monkeys, similar to Gleek, the Twins' clever sidekick.
****************
Raines, Boyd Quit NY Times for Family Reasons
(2003-06-05) -- Executive Editor Howell Raines and Managing Editor Gerald Boyd have resigned from The New York Times to "spend more time with family and pursue other opportunities."
Mr. Raines told reporters, "Not everyone gets the chance to retire at the top of his game, with a bunch of recent awards and his integrity intact. It's a luxury I cherish."
Mr. Boyd echoed those sentiments, but added that he's leaving the Times "because I'm black."
UPDATE: Joseph Lelyveld, former executive editor, has been named to replace Mr. Raines in the interim. However, no interim has been named for Mr. Boyd's post.
Publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger said,"Gerald is irreplaceable...at least from within the Times' staff right now. We don't really have someone in upper management who fits the profile we need to replace him...if you know what I mean."
********************
CIA Director Tenet Takes Himself Into Custody
(2003-06-04) -- U.S. Director of Central Intelligence William Tenet took himself into custody this morning under suspicion of having deceived himself about the extent of Iraq's weapons development program.
Mr. Tenet, who will serve as his own lawyer, said his arrest is just a precaution against the risk of flight by the suspect.
"I have told myself that I will cooperate fully with the investigation," he said. "And I want to believe that's true. This detention is really just to keep us all honest in the process. No charges have been filed, and I will not be sending myself to Guantanamo."
The suspect claims that his agency did not intentionally shape an intelligence report in October 2002 to fit the Bush administration's desire to attack Iraq.
Speaking through his attorney, Mr. Tenet said, "I...I mean my client's agency produced a report that agreed with what the Clinton administration and the United Nations have been saying for years. No one was denying that Iraq had a WMD program."
However, CIA Director Tenet said he would personally interrogate the man while in custody to "get to the bottom of this, although the facts seem foggy at the moment."
*********************
[quote]Democrats Celebrate Bush Foreign Policy Wins
(2003-06-03) -- Democrat leaders across the country today celebrated President George Bush's foreign policy accomplishments, as Europeans backed the American plan for Iraq, and Arab leaders supported the roadmap for peace in the Middle East.
"I used to be saddened...saddened and dismayed," said Sen. Tom Daschle, D-SD,"but now I'm joyful...joyful and encouraged at how well our President is doing overseas. I can see now that we were all wrong to doubt his diplomatic skills just because he hadn't traveled abroad much. Apparently integrity an
So, enjoy the following, or don't enjoy it, I'm just trying to add a little levity.
Ashcroft Asks Congress for Wonder Twin Powers
(2003-06-05) -- U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft asked Congress today to increase the Justice Department's effectiveness in fighting terrorism by granting his staff so-called "Wonder Twin Powers."
The special powers, previously only available to Super Friends Zan and Jayna, would allow teams of Justice Department lawyers to assume the shape of almost anything that can be made of water, ice or steam, or the form of any animal.
"We saw in the 1970s how effective Wonder Twin Powers can be," Mr. Ashcroft told the House Judiciary Committee. "I'm asking permission to put these crime-fighting tools to work to make America safer."
Under the Ashcroft proposal, government lawyers would wear special rings, and would have to travel in pairs so they could make ring-to-ring contact to "activate" the powers at a moment's notice.
To control costs, Mr. Ashcroft said, the proposal does not include funding for hundreds of monkeys, similar to Gleek, the Twins' clever sidekick.
****************
Raines, Boyd Quit NY Times for Family Reasons
(2003-06-05) -- Executive Editor Howell Raines and Managing Editor Gerald Boyd have resigned from The New York Times to "spend more time with family and pursue other opportunities."
Mr. Raines told reporters, "Not everyone gets the chance to retire at the top of his game, with a bunch of recent awards and his integrity intact. It's a luxury I cherish."
Mr. Boyd echoed those sentiments, but added that he's leaving the Times "because I'm black."
UPDATE: Joseph Lelyveld, former executive editor, has been named to replace Mr. Raines in the interim. However, no interim has been named for Mr. Boyd's post.
Publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger said,"Gerald is irreplaceable...at least from within the Times' staff right now. We don't really have someone in upper management who fits the profile we need to replace him...if you know what I mean."
********************
CIA Director Tenet Takes Himself Into Custody
(2003-06-04) -- U.S. Director of Central Intelligence William Tenet took himself into custody this morning under suspicion of having deceived himself about the extent of Iraq's weapons development program.
Mr. Tenet, who will serve as his own lawyer, said his arrest is just a precaution against the risk of flight by the suspect.
"I have told myself that I will cooperate fully with the investigation," he said. "And I want to believe that's true. This detention is really just to keep us all honest in the process. No charges have been filed, and I will not be sending myself to Guantanamo."
The suspect claims that his agency did not intentionally shape an intelligence report in October 2002 to fit the Bush administration's desire to attack Iraq.
Speaking through his attorney, Mr. Tenet said, "I...I mean my client's agency produced a report that agreed with what the Clinton administration and the United Nations have been saying for years. No one was denying that Iraq had a WMD program."
However, CIA Director Tenet said he would personally interrogate the man while in custody to "get to the bottom of this, although the facts seem foggy at the moment."
*********************
[quote]Democrats Celebrate Bush Foreign Policy Wins
(2003-06-03) -- Democrat leaders across the country today celebrated President George Bush's foreign policy accomplishments, as Europeans backed the American plan for Iraq, and Arab leaders supported the roadmap for peace in the Middle East.
"I used to be saddened...saddened and dismayed," said Sen. Tom Daschle, D-SD,"but now I'm joyful...joyful and encouraged at how well our President is doing overseas. I can see now that we were all wrong to doubt his diplomatic skills just because he hadn't traveled abroad much. Apparently integrity an