a really bad come on

[Arienette]

i go every morning to this deli by work to get breakfast. you go and order your food, they make it, wrap it, and write the price on it. then you take the food up to the chashier to pay.... so today, i went in and ordered my bagel. the guy made the bagel, wrapped it in aluminum foil, and wrote the price on it... and a big heart. he smiled at me when he handed it to me, and then when i saw it, i felt very uncomfortable. i had to hide it while i went to make my tea, so no one else at the deli would see it. then when i went to pay for it, the cashier noticed.

cashier: "ooh, he drew a heart on it."
me: "yeah, i saw that."
cashier: "you must be very special."

i don't think i can go back to that deli again now, i just feel weird. i just don't understand what guys are thinking sometimes. was he trying to pick me up? he didnt even say anything to me.... ugh.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/arisnails.gif" height=100 width=300</img>

[mdr55]

Maybe he was being friendly.

[Death Metal Moe]

Did you eat the bagel? I'd be afraid there was that date rape drug in it, or at the very least his seed.

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Cursing.jpg>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
DEATH FACTION/BACON FACTION 4 LIFE!!!
666%

[mikeyboy]

Did you eat the bagel? I'd be afraid there was that date rape
drug in it, or at the very least his seed.


Nice job, Dr. Moe. That should make her feel better.


<IMG SRC="http://www.angelfire.com/film/mikeyboy/sig13.jpg">
I am an American Aquarium Drinker
Subscriber to Dignan's 40 year plan
2%

[Johnny Fontane]

Maybe he was being friendly.


Now I'm picturing Cliff Robertson as Charlie fixing this bagel for Arienette. This is the highlight of his day, maybe the highlight of his life, he's saying I love you.

Mean Arienette scowls at him, she complains to the manager, and Charlie gets fired.

Then Charlie sees her on the train, he innocently tells her "I lost my job today, I guess I won't be seeing you anymore."

Arienette rolls her eyes and turns away in disgust.

(to be continued...)

This message was edited by Johnny Fontane on 6-24-03 @ 10:09 PM

[Yerdaddy]

What if he was having a heart-attack, couldn't talk and was asking for help? If you'd have just shown him your yabbos he'd still be alive. Ow, my arm is tingling...

<IMG SRC="http://czm.racknine.net/images/yersig.gif">
CZM productions

FREE ASS!

[Johnny Fontane]

(to be continued...)


Charlie finds a new job at a bar on Ninth Avenue, working as a dishwasher.

One Tuesday night, he sees Arienette at a table. He smiles and says "hello, remember me?"

Arienette and her girlfriends start to crack up. Charlie looks confused.

"What's up Corky?" says ADF.

Now everyone is laughing.

"My name is Charlie."

(to be continued...)

"Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again."


Don Corleone to Sonny

[Heavy]

Ari, that was you?

Mad props to Fluff for the sig and C.O.soup for hosting!
<img src="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/jwaddsig.gif">

[Fallon]

Wait a minute! Thats not cream cheese!

I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you'd like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) Weird Al Lyrics (http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/weirdallyrics.html)

<center><img border=1 src="http://home.attbi.com/~wwfallon/RFnet33.jpg"><font color=#0033FF>

[Johnny Fontane]

(to be continued...)


Never mind, end of story. This is starting to look nasty.

[DarkHippie]

i thought that was cute. Most guys would never do something like that. they'd just stare at your tits.

<IMG SRC=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/darkhippie2.gif>
<marquee>"Just when every ray of hope was gone, I should've known that you would come along. How can I have ever doubted you, my old friend the blues." Steve Earle

[Hosp]

Maybe it wasn't a heart and just a sloppy B standing for Bagel?

<center><IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/good2goguynyc/images/cbhosp1.gif">
<center>I've given up on wit for abject hostility.</center>

[East Side Dave]

I confess I would do things like this as a waiter. Only I drew pictures on the girl's head. And the pictures were usually of snorks holding shot guns. And the girls were usually sleeping at home. Maybe this is why the girls don't like me. This and the fact that I chase them with chainsaws when I "like" them. And I put the "like" in quotes to signify somthing more than liking, if you know what I mean. And if you do know what I mean could you please give me a private message explaining it to me because I seem to think it means "chase people with chainsaws." Thank you, Dudley.

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

[furie]

http://newyorksocialdiary.com/Partypics/covered%20wagon/cliff%20robertson.jpg

"Would you like tomato on that?...Why won't you love me?"

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/bixby.jpg"width=300 height=100>
<marquee>Don't make me Ang Lee. You wouldn't like me when I'm Ang Lee.</marquee>

[Fallon]

<IMG SRC="http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0265459/c91-32.jpg" ALT="wwfallon" HEIGHT=363 WIDTH=450>

<center><img border=1 src="http://home.attbi.com/~wwfallon/RFnet33.jpg"><font color=#0033FF>

[ADF]

I love you more than an olive loaf on white with mayo.

<center><img src = "http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adfjet.gif"><br></center>

[The Chairman]

I've been brainwashed into having an acute awareness of the politically correct sensitivities of others...but I think the gesture was nice, harmless and not a come on.

If he came on the bagel, I'd say it was a bad come on.

http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg
I assassin down the avenue.
The Chairman uses Vic Firth sticks and skidmark sigs.
2%

[spoon]

It's only a bad come on if it wasn't evenly spread Chairman.

i just don't understand what guys are thinking sometimes.

Don't think too much, this guy was on the same level of manhood as Richard Simons (sp). Hearts on bagel wraps? Go back and tell him you like men, not figure skaters.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">
Nothing...i have nothing!

[FMJeff]

i wouldn't go back...that's highly unprofessional...g-d knows that he'll do if you reject him...id also yell at the owner...but that's just me...

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/fmjeff.gif">
<br>
It made my heart sing.

[stickyfingers]

a really bad come on


that was bad but how's this???

"You are a tall drink of water....and man am I thirsty"

this was actually used on tuesday nite by a friend of mine



<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/SF72.gif>

jrich is quite a guy

[ninepixel]

Maybe he just had a little crush on you? Seeing as you go in each day. Prolly innocent.

[stickyfingers]

wrote the price on it... and a big heart.


did you order a sandwich with artichoke hearts? It may have been code



"you must be very special"


what he meant there is that only retards order sandwiches with artichoke hearts on it


so there, its solved




<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/SF72.gif>

jrich is quite a guy

[EndangeredFeces]

I just read the story and that is a weird thing to do

if I wanted to talk to a pretty lady Id talk to her not write her a note on her sandwich

thats a place of business and she wasnt expecting to have some guy hit on her there

did you ever complain or did you just give up on the store?

[monsterone]

cashier: "ooh, he drew a heart on it."
me: "yeah, i saw that."
cashier: "you must be very special."


are you kidding me?!? act niave and eat free b/c guys are that dumb. if it was a bar and a bartender did the same thing, you'd be drinking free all night. then you leave at the end of the night, no harm/ no foul.


<center><IMG SRC="http://www.hvcc.edu/~01885716/images/sigpic2.jpg"></center>

<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30> being white is like playing for the yankees </Marquee>

[Arienette]

are you kidding me?!? act niave and eat free b/c guys are that dumbsee, the guy who drew the heart isn't the one who rings up the food, so i didn't even get any free food out of the deal. on that note...

there used to be a cart guy outside of my old job, and every time i went there, he would compliment me and give me free food. the only thing was that, instead of giving me my bagel for free, he would make me pay for my bagel, and then give me a donut for free. now why exactly would i need a donut when i already just paid for a bagel? i just never got that. my friend carl would eat the donut every day, though, so he sort of dug the weird cart guy. but the guy eventually got too creepy, asking me for my number every day, and trying to convince me to break up with my (fictional) boyfriend. carl was not pleased.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/arisnails.gif" height=100 width=300</img>

[Johnny Fontane]

now why exactly would i need a donut when i already just paid for a bagel?


What, you never stuffed your bagel with a donut?

What are you, one of these health freaks?

"Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again."


Don Corleone to Sonny

[Arienette]

since i know how curious you all must be...

because it was raining this morning, i didn't want to go out of my way to find somewhere else to get my breakfast, so i went back to the deli. i ordered a bagel. i watched as he wrote the price on the aluminum foil. he seemed to be taking a little too long. he handed me the bagel. there was a heart on it again.

i'm never going back there again, rain or shine.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/arisnails.gif" height=100 width=300</img>

[Geppetto]

May be you should slip him a note in gym class. Seriously how old of a guy are we talking about here, thats cute if its a kid but if its a grown man it boarders on sad. Find a new deli.

<IMG SRC =http://www.blakjeezis.homestead.com/files/geppetto.gif>

[Reephdweller]

he handed me the bagel. there was a heart on it again.


It would have been great if you shoved it back to him and said "what's with the heart?" or said "Look bagel boy, I just wanted a FUCKING bagel, enough with the hearts!!!"

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/reefdw05.jpg"></center>

<font size="1" color="blue">
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Interest: Are You Interested? I know you are, because it's fuck or walk!!</marquee> </font>

[fatty]

that was bad but how's this???

"You are a tall drink of water....and man am I thirsty"

this was actually used on tuesday nite by a friend of mine


i'm sorry stickyfingers but the book i read said that would work on you, i'll keep trying until you're mine.

<IMG SRC=http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/aggie2323/fatty.gif>
<marquee>Asked her who's the man and she said it's fatty, then i bust in her e-y-e

[stickyfingers]

fatty,

are you high? again?

no seriously, you had me at hello



<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/SF72.gif>

jrich is quite a guy

This message was edited by stickyfingers72 on 7-5-03 @ 1:55 AM

[spoon]

Sticky you motherfucker!
How can you cheat on me!
Fatty, watch your back.

No really watch your back as Sticky lives up to his name.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">
Nothing...i have nothing!

[stickyfingers]

Rude and Rude, i do not, I brought my fake gir....i mean girlfriend to the game, you saw her with your own eyes....but i will say this much I had a great view from left field

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/SF72.gif>

jrich is quite a guy

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

Tonight I was walking past the Hudson County Homing Pigeon Club (swear to God) on my way home from work. There were two wanna-be hipster-doofus/geek-chic/comic book-reading guys standing outside. As I walked by, one said, "Helll-O there!" (which made me immediately think of the Tom Hanks/John Lovitts SNL skit, "Helll-O! And Goood-bye!"). I figured they had a sense of humor, so I stopped and said, "I'm sorry, it could never work out. I have cats." Well, at least THEY laughed!

Years ago (late 90s), when I still listened to Stern, he gave out a schpeel one morning on what to say to pick up a girl. After work that day, I cut through the Newport Mall parking lot to get to the Shoprite and a car drove by me. Three minutes later, as I'm in the Shoprite parking lot, the same car sidles up beside me (from the opposite direction), and the guy spews the very same schpeel. I looked at him and said, "Sorry! I listen to Stern! Nice try!" His reply? "You listen to Stern?!?!?! MARRY ME????"

But the WORST, mind you THE WORST come on was when some hippy SNAG came up to me and said, "I believe we worked together on a Polish blog in another lifetime." I told him to go F himself.

<IMG SRC="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/gpigking/myhomepage/alicesig.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US">
thank you dcpete!

This message was edited by Alice S. Fuzzybutt on 7-9-03 @ 9:07 PM