New DSM-V classifications?

[mdr55]

888.00----Imnotcrazytalkingtomyselfrenia:
Person that talks aloud in public without regards to his/her surroundings and exhibits inappropriate feelings or behaviors towards their present environment.
Symptoms include 2 or more of the following:
(a) has a cell phone with a ear aid device.
(b) exhibits paranoia towards others who they feel may be listening to their conversation
(c) is not attending to present environment or situation
(d) has a grandiose ideology of self-centerness
(e) exhibits shifts in feelings that may include laughing, crying, sadness, anger, happiness.
(f) may exhibit other symptoms not yet listed

[mdr55]

666.66----Notacriminalcuzigotlotzamullandimastar
Person or persons that commit a crime, knowingly and willingly, despite this is able to do things that the average person cannot get away with in the court of law/legal system.
Symptoms include 2 or the more of the following:
(a) has in excess of over $5,000,000 worth be it physical monies, assets or potential earnings.
(b) has brief bouts of stupidity after the crime is done can rage from changing clothes, re-arranging crime sceen or inability to recollect how afformentioned weapon came to be in the persons possession.
(c) placed on house arrest no matter what the seriousness of the offense that was committed.
(d) use the national media to plead their innocence or down play matter to being mis-understood or mis-represented.
(e) offers to assist both monetary and physically in finding the real guilty parties that have committed the offense
(f) travels with body-guards that are not lisenced to carry fire-arms.(g) any other characteristic that is not aforemention above.

This message was edited by mdr55 on 6-27-03 @ 4:35 AM

[mdr55]

1000000M-----Toomuchdamnmoney Disorder
A person with this disorder exhibits 3 or more symptoms of the following:
(a) inability to have a decent haircut or hairstyle
(b) has numerous buildings or foundations in his/her name
(c) misguided perception that present spouse/significant other is with aformentioned person not for their money
(d) ability to somehow attract very attractive people of the opposite sex half of their age(e) due to heredity inherited their personal empire
(f) children/family members can't wait for person to pass away
(g) able to obtain honorary degrees at universities/colleges that person did not attend

(h) residence where the person lives-the ratio of rooms in dwelling is more than the number of inhabitants
(i) ability to obtain additional credit to pursue business venures dispite personally being in bankruptcy
(j) also includes characteristics and behaviors not listed above

[Death Metal Moe]

Sweet Jebus take me home.

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DEATH FACTION/BACON FACTION 4 LIFE!!!
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